I leave messages on Allie's answering machine and she calls me back when she knows I'm not home to tell me she doesn't live at her apartment any more. I leave messages on Rodrigo's machine and she calls me back when she knows I'm not home to say she didn't receive my messages. But I am home.

I don't tell her I told Andy. I don't tell her Andy and I broke up. I am scared she doesn't care.

Allie says couldn't get the needle in her arm, so Rodrigo did it, which makes me sick, but I just want to be able to talk to her. "How does this help get the egg out?" I ask.

"I don't know," Allie says, "The hormone shots make the egg loosen or something and then the doctor pulls it out with a tweezers."

"Tweezers?"

"Well, a big tweezers. I don't know. A tool. It doesn't hurt. That's what they say."

"But there will be a million little Allies running all over the planet."

"Probably just one little Allie, and I'll never see her."

"Don't the hormones fuck you up?"

"Who knows? If they do fuck me up, I'll have the money to buy a computer to write about the experience. Anyway, Rodrigo says it's a turn-on that I know how to get what I want with my body."