Allie and I meet at eleven at the purple Ben&Jerry's garbage can. Allie is wearing a bathing suit I got from a sponsor. She doesn't shave -- doesn't shave anywhere, and I love seeing dark curls draping her thighs.

Allie sees me staring. "Do you think it's gross?" she asks.

"No. It's beautiful. I wish I had enough nerve to do that."

We lie on our stomachs with our heads pointing toward each other. She rests her chin on her crossed arms, and I do the same. She closes her eyes and I watch her dark lashes.

I think she would let me kiss her, but it would be mean because I'm in love with Andy.

I say to Allie, "I have to tell you something."

"What?"

"Well, I 'm really embarrassed. I don't want you to laugh."

"What? Tell me."

"I'm attracted to you."

She smiles, and lets out a breath -- warm on my face. She says, "Is that it?"

"Is that it? That's a big thing to admit."

"I was a model. It's my job to attract people."

"I wanted it to be special to you."

"It is. Because I like you."

"Oh."

I shut my eyes, and I know she's watching me and smiling.

I open my eyes. "Allie, are you attracted to me?"

Allie says, "Yes, I think you're beautiful."

I want to ask what parts of me. But this is enough for today.