I sneak up behind her a little bit shaky and I force myself to kiss her. After a couple of seconds, it feels good, and I decide I should kiss her like I'd kiss Andy because then I'll know what to do. Our tongues slide together and my hands run up and down her body.

We move to my bed, and I try to take off her shirt. I want to get everything off as fast as I can.

"No," she says. "I like to keep our clothes on as long as possible." I don't tell her I'm already at my limit. I leave her shirt on and put my hand under. I want to feel every part of her.

Once I realize that we really are going to have sex, I tell myself that I can go slower.

I want to see what I'm touching, so I get out of bed and turn on the bathroom light.

I can't keep my hands still. Everything is so soft and smooth, and I can't believe how much freedom my hands have with her body. It doesn't feel real. I feel like I'm doing something sneaky, unofficial, outside of any rules.

The next time I push her shirt up, she helps it over her head. I take off her bra, and I feel like I'm playing dress-up. Before she can move, I take off all my clothes. I want to feel my body against hers.

I move my hands across her breasts a million times before I put my lips to them, because I still feel sort of funny. But once I do it I can't stop.

For a while, I don't notice what she's actually doing. "Tell me what to do," I say, in case she forgot I don't know what I'm doing. She tells me to turn over. "Why?" I ask.

"It's better on your stomach. Did you know that? It's more intense that way." I want to believe she knows everything in the world about lesbian sex, so I turn over and spread my legs. My back is arched, and I rise up a little on my knees and rest my head on my arms, and before she even touches me, this position feels good. I can't tell what she's doing -- if she's using her fingers or her mouth. She's not soft like Andy, she's hard and rhythmic. I am loud, because Andy likes that, but I stop to say, "Wait, show me what you're doing." She says she has three fingers in me.

"Three?"

I want to do it to her. So I arch my back a lot and squeeze my muscles, and I come. Usually, I'd want to come again, right away, but I want to do it to her.

"Okay," I say, "you lie on your stomach." She lies down and spreads her legs. "Allie, I can't see anything. How about if you start on your back."

She flips over, and she puts her arms behind her head so her back arches a little. Her breasts are flat and her stomach is flat, and everything seems to slope to her thighs. I rub my face in her pubic hair, and it smells a little salty and a little musty and I take deep breaths until I know her scent. I spread the lips of her vagina, and her clitoris is huge. I lift my face and rest my chin in her hair. "Allie, do I have an undersized clitoris?"

She says, "Well, it's smaller than mine. But I've seen smaller."

I spread her lips again, I hold them open and run my tongue softly up and down. I make circles, and I suck, and I kiss. She says, "Yes," sometimes, so I can tell how I'm doing.

"Bite," she says.

I take little bites on the side, and she spreads her thighs wider, and she rocks her hips, and I get so excited that I bite where I should be licking, and Allie yells out.

"Sorry," I say. "I'm really sorry."

She pulls me up by the arms to her mouth. "You have to wait a minute," she says, "that really hurt." She kisses me like it's okay that I just took a bite out of her, and I love her for being so forgiving. Our mouths taste salty and musty, and my legs are wrapped around her waist, tightly. I want to be inside her. I stick my tongue deep in her mouth. I stick my tongue in her ear and she giggles. I stick my tongue in her vagina slowly, and she moans. She turns over, and she says, "Use your fingers."

I put three in and out and she moves her hips with me. She says, "You can put in more than three."

I wonder how she can tell how many I'm using. I put in four, and my hand glides in and out. I push harder and harder. I love making her scream with each thrust.

She drops her hips and my hand slips out, and then I can tell that she's come. I feel a little silly for not knowing when it happened, but I'm really proud that I made her come.

I crawl up her back, and I lay my wet hair on her warm butt. I put my arms over hers and I kiss the back of her neck. I kiss behind her ears, and I whisper, "More."

I fall asleep with my face in her thighs, but she wakes me up when she flips over.

I sleep, sort of, but I keep waking up cold because she has all the sheets. So I stare at the ceiling and think about what to tell Andy.