Title: Be careful what you wish for...
Author: Adalisa
Email: [email protected]

Feedback: What can I say? I've become addicted to it.
Distribution: Mama Chelle's site, XanderSlash's site and my site. Anywhere else, just ask. I won't say no.
Web site: http://members.tripod.com/luxshine/

Summary: Cordelia makes a different wish that changes Sunnydale in a very drastic way.
Rating: PG-13.

Disclaimer: Xander, Angel, and everybody else here is property of Joss Wheldon, Warner Bros. And another bunch of people. But they keep treating them bad, so I play with them.

Content: X/A

Spoilers: The Wish. I still haven't seen it, so they might not be accurate.
Notes: Xander is my favorite character in the series, in case anyone hasn't noticed, and after seeing that there are quite a few pages of Xander's haters, and reading all the comments in Whiteknight about how his so called "friends" do not appreciate him... well, this one was begging to be written. And yes, it will have Xander/Angel in the second part.

"I wish that Xander Harris had never been born!"

As soon as the words left Cordelia's mouth, Anya's face shriveled and deformed. "Done" She/It said, at the same time she/it disappeared in a flash of light.

There were very few students around, when just seconds ago the aisle was packed full, the walls were painted with terrifying graffiti, some of which reminded Cordelia of the ugly engravings she had seen in a couple of Giles' books. And through the windows, she could see that the sky had a strange reddish tint and that many buildings around the school were on fire.

Not very sure of what was happening, she began walking towards the library, hoping that Giles could explain what was going on, but as she got closer to the usually safe place, the walls grew black and ruined.

"Cordelia?! Are you insane?!" Harmony's voice stopped her, and Cordelia turned around to see her former friend. She looked terrible, her blonde hair cut very short, and with an ashy texture, her dress looking as a salvation army reject. "You of all people should know that going in there is the fast way to get killed, even in the mornings."

"Where? To the library? Harmony get real"

"The library? Cordelia, you're walking straight into the Hellmouth! The library hasn't been there in two years!" Harmony pulled Cordelia away from the scarred aisle and out to the garden, getting away from school building fast "What's wrong with you? Living with a corpse finally got your brain?!"

"Corpse?" Cordelia tried to ease Harmony's grip, but the blonde girl only kept on walking.

"Oh, my bad. " Harmony sneered. "Undead American Citizen. I dunno why you still hang with those losers...If I could, I would get as far as I could from this damn place."

"Which losers?" Finally, they stopped, just a few blocks away from the school where the destruction of the city seemed less evident. Cordelia just looked at Harmony, not really knowing if she wanted to find out why the girl looked that pale, or why she seemed so scared.

"Look, I don't have time for this." Harmony pouted, as she began backing away from Cordelia. "I only went to that horrible place because Devon told me you were missing... But I don't want to be involved with you guys. There is not a chance of you defeating the Master and the Anointed One...So this was the last time..." With that, the girl simply hurried away, leaving Cordelia alone and thoroughly confused. Sunnydale had changed too much, just from her simple wish and that didn't made any sense. How could the Hellmouth have been open if Buffy had been the one to prevent it, not Xander? Where were all her friends or the rest of the Scooby Gang? And what was that about living with a dead body?

It was almost midday now, but the sky was darkening fast. Without another choice, Cordelia headed to the only other part of town she could count as reunion place for the Scooby Gang: The Bronze.

As she walked block after block, all too sure that she didn't want to go back to the school to get her car, not sure if she could find it there, she tried to understand what had went wrong. After all, Xander had been the useless link in the Slayerettes, only helping in research sometimes. It wasn't as if what he did couldn't be done by anyone else...

But in the other hand, she wasn't at all that fair. Xander had saved her life at least once... When Chris and Eric had tried to turn her into the Frankenstein bride Xander had saved her from the fire in the old science building...So without Xander to save her... Scared, she hurried her hands to her neck, half expecting to feel stitches.. and let out a relief sigh when she didn't find none.

A hand fell on her shoulder and she couldn't repress a scream. It was too much.

"Cordelia!" The voice was well known, and she turned around to find herself in Oz's arms, crying uncontrollable. She couldn't believe this was her home town. She couldn't believe that it was her life.

And... after less than one hour of wishing him out of existence, she already missed Xander.

Oz took her to the Bronze, that was no longer a night club, but more like a bunker. She cried all the way in his van, not really listening to what he was saying, although she managed to calm down a little as they entered the depressing place.

The news inside, however, made her almost want to faint. Devon opened the door, and she could see that whatever that had been going on had took it's toll on the vain singer. His eyes seemed down, and he had not stopped pointing the crossbow he was holding until both Cordelia and Oz had held a cross in their hands.

"Where were you, Cordelia?" Devon asked, harshly, as he rushed them inside. "Giles was ready to try and take on the Master alone... And Angel tried to go out to the sun again."

"Angel?" The girl looked at her former boyfriend with reddish eyes, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Cordelia seems a bit confused, Devon. Let her be." Oz walked past him, and sat in a nearby cot.

It was then when she got her first good look to the place she remembered as a club, where she was used to see people dancing and having fun. Now it was dusty, with at least a dozen of cots covered gray sheets, a cross and a stake in each one of them, and a few people sleeping. In the stage, where the bands played, there were now a few bookshelves, with some old books in them. There was also one lone computer in a desk. Outside of that, the place seemed empty.

"Cordy... Are you all right?" The voice came from the stairs that led to the upper floor, and Cordelia had to try and repress a scream for the second time in the day. Standing in the stairs Angel was looking at her, but he also seemed vary different. His hair was unraveled and dirty, his clothes dirty and thorn. There was also a lack of life in his eyes, as they looked dull and guarded. Behind him, Giles looked at her warily. There were marks and scars that weren't in his face before "I... I woke up and you weren't there... I thought... I thought you had died too..." The vampire rushed down, tired to hug her, and she couldn't stop herself from stepping back. She was afraid of him, fully aware of what he could do, what he had done.

"No!" She finally yelled "This is wrong! What's wrong with you?! This is a night club!! Where are Buffy, and Willow? Why the library is Hellmouth!!" Without meaning to, she dropped down in a cot, and began crying hysterically. Seemingly, she couldn't stop.

"Willow and Buffy are dead, Cordelia. You know that." Giles sat at her side, but his voice was cold and detached, not at all like the one she knew. " Willow was killed by a Primal Priest, two years ago... Buffy died at the hands of the Master, the day that Hellmouth burst open at the school. You know that. You saved Jenny and myself that day."

"What?" Cordelia turned to see the librarian, trying to understand. She knew about Buffy's death at the hands of the Master, but she also knew that she had survived... "No... Buffy did not drown... Angel saved her! Xander told me that!"

"Who is Xander?" Angel inquired, his eyes showing the minimum shine of interest.

"Our friend... "Cordelia hesitated, not sure of how to explain what she had done." I... I did something horrible to him...but... before that he told me that you dragged him to follow Buffy to the Master's liar, found her in a pond of water and that you... you gave her CPR!"

"I never went after Buffy, Cordelia..." Angel seemed as confused as she had been earlier. "I was a coward and hid on my apartment until it was too late, when you crashed your car in front of my building... And I couldn't have given Buffy CPR... I have no breath."

Angel's words hit Cordelia like a direct punch to the stomach, as she realized that Xander had not told her the whole truth... Because if this Angel hadn't gone to rescue Buffy, that meant that it had been Xander the one who dragged the vampire behind the slayer, not the other way around, and that if Angel didn't had breath... it had been Xander the one who had saved Buffy's life. And she had erased him from existence. "Oh, my god.. this is all my fault..."

"What do you mean, Cordelia?" Giles insisted, grabbing her from the shoulders and forcing her to look at him "How can all this be your fault?"

Confronted by the stern look of the Watcher, Cordelia explained it all. How she had been Xander's girlfriend, and what had happened between him and Willow, causing her to make her wish. When she finished, Giles's face was even more stern than before. "I can't believe you'd be fool enough to do something like this! How could you make a deal with an unknown demon to erase a person's life?"

"I was devastated, O.k.! It isn't as if you hadn't done the same! You were the one who dabbled into dark magic and caused your friend's deaths!" Cordelia just had enough time to realize that her words had hurt Giles before the librarian slapped her face, hard. Then he took off Cordelia's necklace, and stormed towards the stage, without saying one more word.

"Do let's bring that up as often as possible. " Oz muttered, before laying down in his cot, while Devon just kept his guard.

"Come on, Cordy... you need to sleep..." Angel made her left the uncomfortable cot and carried her towards the coach that still was placed near the tables, in the farthest corner of the room. The one she had shared with Xander more than once. Just seeing it, she felt like crying again.

"Angel? Please... tell me... why are you being nice with me?" She asked, not sure of wanting to know exactly how many changes had her stupid wish had brought upon her friends.

"Because you are the only one who never blamed me for Buffy's death... Because you stop me every time I want to kill myself... And you have always said that it's awful to feel lonely... After Hellmouth was open, and the Master ascended... you moved in with me for safety... In those days we still had a chance... but then... Eyghon appeared and killed Mrs. Calendar... and things got worst..."

"And It's my fault..." Cordelia mumbled again, grief stricken.

"It doesn't seems like your fault... For what you said, that Xander guy did hurt you deeply..."

"No... that's not true... I thought that too, but he... I... I love him... And I never gave him a chance to explain... And now... I... I am the only one who remembers him, and he had done so many things for us and I never realized..." Tears began gathering in her eyes again, and Angel held her close, waiting for the crisis to pass. "I am afraid that I'll forget him..."

"Tell me about him... Tell me about Xander, so you remember..." He told her, and Cordelia smiled briefly.

"His name was Alexander..." she began, as soon as the tears stopped. "We meet in kindergarden..."

She talked about everything she remembered about Xander, even a few things she only had heard from Willow or Jesse... and soon, the tiredness of the day caught up with her and she fell asleep in Angel's arms. It was then when he kissed her forehead, softly whispering. "I was wrong, Cordy... Xander sound like a wonderful person... I really wish I could have meet him."

Cordelia awoke to find Giles standing in front of her, his face grim and serious.

"There is no record in my books about this necklace, Cordelia. I cannot determine from which demon it came from. " The Watcher said, flatly.

"But... but..." Cordelia tried to form any kind of excuse, tried mightily to come up with an answer that wasn't 'that means we're doomed', but somehow the words didn't want to come to her mouth. "I thought that you had the biggest collection of books about demonology and stuff..."

"That was in the library, Cordelia. " Giles said, taking off his glasses. "Unfortunately we were not able to save most of the books when the Library was destroyed. Now we only have the most basic texts that Mrs. Madison..." Suddenly, his eyes seemed to lighten a little. "... lend us... Maybe she knows something about this dreadful thing..."

"Mrs. Madison?" Cordelia suddenly paled. She knew that Amy Madison was a witch, as she had been one in her own reality, as she had find out when Xander had tried to use black magic to make her love him and the spell had gone wrong... But later Xander had told her about Catherine Madison... Mrs. Madison. A crazed obsessed witch that had made her go blind and whom Buffy had made disappear. "Wasn't she... defeated by Buffy?"

"She managed to free herself..." Giles explained. "She and her daughter are very powerful when it comes to the mystic arts. Now grab a crossbow and get ready. We have to go and meet Devon, Oz and Angel for patrolling."

Cordelia only nodded, suddenly feeling empty. Last night, talking to Angel, she had remembered many happy moments with Xander, both before and after they began a relationship. Now she felt sad for never had noticed, really noticed the boy before Buffy appeared, and for having let her own anger blind her so all their moments together were not enough to make her listen to his apologizes. He had lied to his best friend to be with Cordelia, a best friend who had done every single possible thing to catch Xander's attention before going out with Oz... That had to at least count to hear his part. But Cordelia hadn't, and she had acted irrationally, and now Xander was no longer.

That hurt too much. So she got to her feet and wondered if she could ever see Xander again, and hug him and tell him that she was sorry, that she would never do something that stupid ever again, that she loved him.

The patrolling was not as simple as the ones Cordelia remembered from helping Buffy. They managed to kill at least three vampires, but their victim was also killed. Worse, while she was still reeling form seeing the creatures almost kill her, Cordelia also saw how Oz kneeled at the dead body's side, pulled out a knife and cut the man's head, before Devon torched it.

"It's the only way to prevent it coming back as a zombie." Angel explained her, as he hugged her. "Those are even worse than Vampires... Carrion eaters that feed on the dead flesh." The explanation didn't ease Cordelia's stomach, as she had to fight the urge to throw up. "Don't tell me... They come with the Hellmouth..."

"Something like that..." Oz interrupted, as he led the way back to his van. "... A little while after Hellmouth opened, but before Sunnydale became the place to die, someone sent an ancient Peruvian mummy to the museum. It turned out to be a cursed princess who needed other people's life-essences to survive and then... she went insane. Killed half of the school seniors and then turned to the vampires for help. Now she doesn't need to suck the life from others, but she wants everyone turned corpse."

"Ampata..." Cordelia muttered, not sure that she wanted to hear what had been the final fate of the girl who had been loved by Xander. "But she died... when Xander..."

"Oh, please, no more!" Devon groaned, obviously annoyed. "Did he killed Ampata in your reality too? Just tell me why, if this guy was so mighty great you wished him away?"

Cordelia didn't had an answer for that. Now she didn't know how could she never had noticed how important Xander was. But she had to tell them what Xander had done to Ampata. They had to know there was another way. "He didn't kill her... He loved her." She whispered, not sure of who, or if, they had heard her.

They arrived to the Witches' house almost at down. It was almost creepy, the fact that now they lived in the ancient mansion that Cordelia remembered as Angel's house... but it was even more terrifying the appearance of both woman.

Amy had let her hair grow all the way to her waist, but she had shaved lines in her skull giving her a strange look. In half her face she had tattooed some ancient symbols that Cordelia didn't recognize or even look at, and her left arm was completely covered with the same design. Her mother, however, was completely stunning. She was a live bronze statue of a perfect cheerleader. A mobile statue too.. the only organic thing were her eyes, that pierced through Cordelia with hate.

Giles explained the whole situation to the elder witch, while Amy played host with Cordelia, Angel, Oz and Devon. She seemed to enjoy the situation, as she looked at Cordelia with an amused stare.

"I can't believe you would be so petty as to try and eradicate a soul from this earth... not even Mom is that... resentful..." Amy raised her clean arm to touch Cordelia's cheek and smiled "Seems like we are more alike than what I thought at first..."

Cordelia was going to reply, to defend herself or anything, when Catehrine Madison's metallic voice interrupted her.

"Anyanka, Patron Saint of Scorned Women." The towering bronze woman said, amusement in her voice. " You were really lucky to have received her favors..."

"What favor? This place is like Hell! All my friends are either fighting to stay alive or dead!" Cordelia couldn't believe her ears. It was as if the monstrous woman envied her.

"She took the root of your suffering away, didn't she?" Catherine Madison continued, as she returned the necklace to her. "There are two ways of undoing your wish. Unfortunately, both are quite hard to do. One is to destroy her power center... Wherever it is, or if it can be destroyed, that is one thing not recorded. The other is that the Scorned Woman who asked the wish forgives the man who hurt her and allows him to feel true love someone that is not her. "

"I can make anyone fell in love with anyone else." Amy interjected, with a beaming smile towards her mother. "I can do that easier than turning zombies into rats!"

"Yeah, but 'Mighty Xander' doesn't exist in this reality!" Devon snorted, and even when Oz tried to make him be quiet, the ex-singer continued. "How is Prom Queen supposed to forgive him then?"

Cordelia didn't hear the answer. When her mind hear that there was no way of undoing her wish, that she would never see Xander again, she simply shut off, and let the darkness surround her as she fainted.