If you need help, click this link
This is Alan's Sobriety Date. He now has an Infinity medallion with him.
©
My way of dealing with her death was to get high. I got high on whatever was available; pot, alcohol, LSD, speed, and cocaine. In the midst of it all, I discovered speedballs. After a three month run at the age of twelve, I was put in a hospital for “emotional problems”. I spent two years and ten months getting high on what was prescribed to me and what we inmates could sneak in.
In 1984, I was released to find the world a different place. I thought that I had changed and that my family was still living in the dark, so I headed out on my own. I moved out to live with a girl I had met in a bar.
She kept me loaded for a time. That was my answer sex and drugs. That didn’t last very long, I started to need more, and I couldn’t get it for free, so I started hustling. I prostituted myself for about four years. I don’t know how I didn’t contract AIDS or die from some other disease with the sex I had and the shooting I was doing.
I was running with a bad crowd and I started to carry a gun. I knew “they” were after me. Those little men with no bodies or faces would speak right into my head. “They” always had a plan to get me. “They” were going come for me and bugs were planted everywhere. All the people I thought were my friends couldn’t be trusted. Yet, I would go into dark places with people I had just met and exchange money with them for favors and drugs. My thinking had deserted me.