Just a note to tell anyone that Alan died on November 20, 2002. He was exactly 34 1/2 and 11 years clean and sober. He died happy and very loved.
I miss him greatly.

Alan's Recovery Story

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    I started using pretty young. It was my sister’s way of babysitting; get me high and watch me spin or get me higher and I’d pass out. That’s when my parents weren’t around. When they were there, it was time to hide. My father was a Valium addict and my mother was a drunk, so most of the time we were on our own. My folks split up when I was ten. My sister and I bounced back and forth between them. My sister was three years older than I and when she was 15, she committed suicide. In her letter to us, she said that part of the reason she wanted to leave this life was because her dealer had cut her off.
    My way of dealing with her death was to get high. I got high on whatever was available; pot, alcohol, LSD, speed, and cocaine. In the midst of it all, I discovered speedballs. After a three month run at the age of twelve, I was put in a hospital for “emotional problems”. I spent two years and ten months getting high on what was prescribed to me and what we inmates could sneak in. In 1984, I was released to find the world a different place. I thought that I had changed and that my family was still living in the dark, so I headed out on my own. I moved out to live with a girl I had met in a bar.
    She kept me loaded for a time. That was my answer sex and drugs. That didn’t last very long, I started to need more, and I couldn’t get it for free, so I started hustling. I prostituted myself for about four years. I don’t know how I didn’t contract AIDS or die from some other disease with the sex I had and the shooting I was doing.
    I was running with a bad crowd and I started to carry a gun. I knew “they” were after me. Those little men with no bodies or faces would speak right into my head. “They” always had a plan to get me. “They” were going come for me and bugs were planted everywhere. All the people I thought were my friends couldn’t be trusted. Yet, I would go into dark places with people I had just met and exchange money with them for favors and drugs. My thinking had deserted me.

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This is Alan's Sobriety Date. He now has an Infinity medallion with him.

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