Weddings and Funerals

23 February, 1999

Greetings from the far north.

Yes it is one again for your favorite, almost personal, email series dealing with life in Finland. The subject of this email will be Finnish weddings and funerals.

I have been to two weddings in Finland this year. The ceremony is basically the same with some basic differences. The father walks the bride only halfway down the aisle. The groom walks to meet the bride midway where the father gives away the bride. They the walk down the rest of the aisle together. The brides dress doe not contain that much lace. The dress has no train. The best man is still called best man. Although his job is much different here. He is the coordinator of the reseption. There is a maid of honor but no groomsmen nor bridesmaids. They do not play a big part in the wedding ceromony itself.

Wedding pictures are normally taken before the wedding cerimony. You will not normally see a professional photographer taking 1000+ pictures nor a vidiographer.

Now for some Finnish wedding traditions. When the couple cuts the cake, the first one to stomp their foot on the ground when they place the first piece on the plate is the boss of the family. At some point in the reception, the bride is kidnapped. The groom is then forced to do something embarressing to win her back. Other variations of this deal with kidnapping the groom, mother in law, etc...

Unfortunately, I have also attended a Finnish funeral of a good friend. My friend Nina was hit by a bus and killed one rainy August morning in Helsinki. Her father contacted me two days later. Funerals are often over a week or after the person died. This one was over two weeks after the accident. There is no wake. There is no open casket. There is a cerimony at a cathedral in the cemetary prior to the burial. People attanding bring their own flowers. Attached to the bouque is a letter expressing condolances. During the mass, family and friend go up and read their message and place the flowers around the casket. A couple of songs are sung. Prayers are said, and the mass concluded. Everyone collects their flowers and the casket is taken through the cemetary to the resting place. The casket is lowered and the flowers are placed there.

Everyone was then invited to join the family for lunch afterwards. People take turns telling stories of their experiences with nina and more songs are sung.

�I do� in Finnish is �Tahdon.�

Fred Fry International