07/27/2005

          Midgets, gnomes, and whatnot kind of freak me out.  I am watching Blind Date and I can not help but feel extremely sad and terribly frightened at the same time of this dude-dwarf.

          Doug Dobson died this morning.  He was 17.  Last November he underwent liver transplant surgery.  He was recovering and doing well.  I saw him at West Coast about a month before moving to Philadelphia, he looked real good and happy.  Last night, when I phoned home, my mother told me how Doug was in a Philly hospital and he might not make it through the night.  Apparently, the cancer that killed his last liver is in his bloodstream, also effectively killing his transplant.  I feel so sorry for his family, close friends, and everyone effected. 

          My faith has sunk to a new and all-time low.  I do not want to get in to it, it would not be right.

07/24/2005

          God, the giver of life.  This past weekend I met a beetle, drowned and well-preserved in an old pong cup.

          Jen, Zakk, Kreski, and I made lovely, several-pound steaks over the crop circle bonanza pit.  Marinated in Italian pesto, Worcestshire, and soy sauce.  Wonderfulness and filling.  Many beers, beef, and bowls later...back to the beetle, much poking and prodding.  Later in to the party, while ponging, the beetle's legs began to move!, much exclamation from a few.  Drinking, drinking, drinking, drunk.  Zakk and Jen put the beetle in a cigarette pack incubation chamber for the night.  *  *  *  IT'S ALIVE.  Also, scary and fit to be left back in to the wild at not my house, Jen's house.

          Much awesome sex ensues at evening and afternoon hours.  Enough said and shared.

          I am also resolved to the fact that parties at the farm just don't happen like they use to.  They will be no more, and more of the friends only type, which is the exact type of party it always has been, so there it is, said and unsaid.

          I have never been so depressed for a movie as I am with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  I have to say, great fucking cinematography with the displacement of certain objects within the memories and dreams.  The scene, near the end, with the beach house falling apart, the memories coming to an end...very so sad and interesting.  I think I never want to see this movie again.  It makes me want to take a lifetime walk in a brisk climate.

          I miss my dear, Jen.  I love you dear.

06/13/2005

          My landlord, Bob, is an interesting dude.  Eccentric looking, but a nice guy.  He was once in love with a Chinese woman.  She doused herself with gasoline and set herself on fire on the Penn campus, in front of some landmark.  My sister told me this, then my body started hurting.  I once put a plastic bag on my arm and thought it would be cool to watch it flutter over the flames of my burning barrel.  It was great and cool till the bag closed around my arm.  Ever been hugged by melting plastic?  It was almost as painful as the time I held a bottle of isopropyl alcohol to my forehead to burn a pimple.  Then I pulled the bottle slightly away to let the alcohol seep into my eyes.  I regretted it as I squirmed in pain on the floor.

          I am watching Home Delivery.  This boy has no ears, seriously.  They are going to get him some.  I hope he gets to choose the style and picks elvish ears.  I turned that sappy crap off, but I wonder if they will give him over-sized ears since he will undoubtedly grow, will the new ears?

          I remember the last years of boy scout camp.  Most of us would sleep through breakfast, nor show up to merit badges.  Shamokin scouts were rebels.  We were there for the shale pit, one false step you could die.  I remember archery with Dale and Dan, they called me Red, that's when I was way younger.  I was an excellent archer with a long bow.  I also remember suran wrapping kids to their bunks.  The one summer with the twin women instructors, some nonsense went on, girls were no longer permitted as instructors.

          My favorite high school soccer game was the one against Tamaqua, my junior year.  There were 14 red and yellow cards, coaches from both sides had to leave the field, as did our assistant coach, and Whitmer, who was on the injured list and hadn't even suited up.  Our bus driver was coach.  I speared a kid, his legs looked funny flying above his head like that.  I helped break down the sportsmanship wall we were trying to build.  My second favorite game was sophmore year when Coach Ray Reeder had gotten a red card the game before.  He had a walkie-talkie up near the press box, he gave orders to Jarred Mariano, who was in a wheelchair.  He would be rolling around talking to his crotch, where he had his end of the communication.

          Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl

          Coldplay - the Scientist

06/11/2005

          It is 5 o'clock in the morning, Saturday.  I have not gone to bed yet.  Are days of the week capitalized?  I was outside for a half hour, smoked 1 cigarette, and made many of the same shadow puppets on the brick, from the overcast of the gas station, a poetic moment.  I was tricking my (Kate's) cat with shadowy cleverness.

          I love Jen Thew so much.  I haven't seen her in decades that equate to 2 weeks.  I want to get home to see her and do her good and right.  I miss my buddies too. 

          I am not joking about macaroni and cheese.  It's fucking awesome.

          In August I get roommates, and just in time to save me from insanity.  Not that staying in my apartment day after day, week after week, so on to larger numbers of days, isn't fun and hip.  But soon I will get to stay in my apartment with someone other than the cat, who I call pretty kitty, and consider my best friend in Philly, though there are human friends, the cat is stealthy, I like that.

06/09/2005

          Notice the heat?  It has been unbearable in Philly, at least to me, I am a sweater.  I think everyone should go outside this summer, notice the heat, and consider to cut down on everything o-zone polluting.  This heat will only get worse, and being in an oven is not cool.  I knew this kitten once, it use to play in laundry baskets, it found its way into the dryer, after much meowing it learned to cope with the heat by death.  Sweet story, we have that cat's sister at home, she does not play in the laundry.

          Does your ultra-thin ever get wet and uncomfortable?  I think tampons should revamp their commercials with shock value, lots of blood...some flipping out.  Downy would do well in that market, I believe.

          Acmes are still alive. 

06/07/2005

          Come up to meet you.  Tell you I'm sorry.  Don't know how lovely you are.  I had to find you, tell you I need you.  Tell you I set you apart.  -Coldplay - 'the scientist'

          It is currently quarter of 3 in the morning.  I can not sleep.  I tried push-ups and sit-ups.  I am listening to sad and slow music, wishing I were home, anywhere but here.  I am too excited for the momentary end to all of this.  I am excited to get away for a few weeks and to start new classes.  I am excited for summer and for running, refreshing lemonade and a good mood in the mornings, even if I wake with sweat in my eyes, I'm always happy at 2 in the afternoon.

          There was flash flooding in Philly today, no fore-, during, or after-warning, just flooding.  I was in Best House Pizza when the onslaught began.  People were friendly and nice, stuck in a pizza place, I had to get out of there.  I ran, I took refuge under an anonymous porch, I stole their deckchair cushion and high-tailed it home.  Then I threw my rain cushion in the trash, dried out my pizza and art, watched the torrential downpour immediately stop once I was safe.  Cursed God.

          I watched the God channel for close to an hour yesterday.  There was a woman trying to explain the bible by repeating written voice with authority.  It didn't work, men are much better liars and more convincing that they believe what they say. 

          3:01

          Now I am pretty beat.  So I will, uh, talk to ya'll later.

06/02/2005

          Against Me!, by all means...speechless.  I have been sitting here for a good ten minutes unable to write because listening to them is easy and fun.  Against Me! - 'Sink, Florida, Sink' - The Eternal Cowboy (cd).  I hope the Capitol, in Shamokin, someday houses them.  That venue could be kick ass with some power toolage and renovations, slight. 

          Tuesday night I did not go to sleep.  It's currently 1:56 in the am, Thursday.  I napped today for 7 hours.  I am now wide awake and sorry for the fact my sleep schedule is hell.  I can't even keep a sleep schedule.  I tried to get a job the first quarter I came to school, no takers.  After my summer break, June 20th - July 12th (?), I plane to really work at getting a job, like dishwasher, or dildo store clerk.  I think the Pleasure Chest did not call me about the position because I am not pierced.  I am going to don a fake nose-ring the second time apply and we will see how it goes. 

          Shower.  Shave.  Sleep.  Apparently I am not too funny after 2:00.

          I found a sweet chair today and I am enjoying it.  My old chair was made of a tire and 3 big, fake fur pillows. 

          Sorry about the dreary post.  Tomorrow is a better day, another rather, or at least.

05/26/2005

          It is May 26th, 2005.  I have finished reading Utopia by Sir Thomas More also Saint Thomas More.  I am 48 decades and 9 too late on my theories of a moneyless society and an egalitarian attitude.  Though some respects of the utopia described in the literature I do not agree with, it was an overall great read, and short.  I have decided reading is pretty cool and I and every one should enjoy it more often.  In other cool shit news:  Tomorrow Kathryn (my sister), Caulder (her boyfriend), Frank (his dad), and I we be going to marvel at a collection of Salvador Dali's most famous and ginormous works.  No flash photography, though you can look up every image of his on the internet, I will have pictures, of pictures.

          Lick Your Lips at the Giner Diner. 

05/24/2005

          I am back!  Back where?  Well, back to the confines of my little room within my sister's apartment, in Philly, on a clear cut corner of Penn's Woods, in the U.S. of America!  For a few glorious days I was in the living room, there is cable television there.  The zzzzz of this laptop has never been so loud. 

          I have course projects to photograph and display, as if ya'll are holding ya'll's breaths.  One involves a camel, and so does another one, and another.  There are also some shapes and whatnot.  I could photocopy my open book quizzes for you, but photocopying is time consuming and monetarily threatening.

          A bum tried to kick me off my bicycle today.  I said excuse me, then he muttered some bum language unfamiliar to me.  I shouted bad words then, Ya Hobo!, like in the movie Slackers.  Now, in retrospect, I regret it.  That bum probably has a vast network of bums, hobos, degenerates, and nah, It is all good. 

          Hopefully I will be coming home this weekend to the loving arms and enlarged face of beautiful Jennifer.  She goes under the knife today to get wisdom removed from her teeth.  I now designate my incisors as wisdom teeth though I still have the originals. 

Yueng Ling

05/21/2005

          I am so good and sarcastic at sarcasm that it's serious.  It is no longer funny, but frightening.  I have been thinking about personalities and how most suck and are condescending.  Not you Shamokin, where a solid shitty attitude and alcohol produces laughter and crime.  I could use a drink.  I want to make a beer Buddha shirt.  Instead of Yuengling's Lord Chesterfield it will be Lord Yueng Ling, Buddha all drunk and shit.  Or maybe something different.

          Swiffer pulled a fast one.  They are deliberately coming out with an evolved product every month.   I Shout Boycott!

05/17/2005

          I haven't seen quality programming like Salute Your Shorts, since Heyyyy Dude, and they were the same era.  I want to start a new channel with older and awesome shows.  The before mentioned, The Wonder Years, Guts, Double Dare, 90210 (when it was decent), all that jazz I can not quite remember.  No nostalgia here, just because those shows kick today's flops in the nut sack. 

          Have I mentioned I am a straight A midterm earner?  I am, I tried, I succeeded.  Onward to the second half of the first eighth.  I have picked second quarter classes, as follows:  Typography, College Math, Life Drawing, and Art History: Prehistoric to Mannerist.

          I have a good idea for a sport utility vehicle promotion.  Picture: a nice shiny BMW suv, pulling into a gas station, filled with the family, probably a white, God-fearing bunch.  They fill her up with premium, 28$.  They make it down the road, about 20 miles, middle of no where, out of gas, so they have to now spend time together.  Then a big 'GUZZLER' logo.  It would be great.  That was not as great as in my head, apologies. 

          I got a call for employment yesterday.  I was going to dish wash at An Indian Affair, 7$ an hour.  The place is mountains away.  Oh shit, on that thought, I have to  find The Oregon Trail, because that game is full of excitement and shit.  I tried and failed.  Anyway, that restaurant is in Manayunk, which is further that far away to walk, so it is a no go. 

          I saw a Hyundai smash into a furniture truck, which first crashed into a postal truck, which had to brake hard for some idiot to park.  It was on the entrance to the Chestnut St. Bridge.  There were arms everywhere, mainly up in the air and out windows.  No blood, no death, I am glad for that.  I bet the asshole that slammed the brakes to get the space won't be charged with anything.  I saw you, you asshole.

          I came home this past weekend.  I start every, or most every, paragraph with I.  It is all about me, and the benjamins, and lengthy hot showers.  I am the biggest fan of sleeping.  Studies about people sleeping their lives away are full of shit.  I think siestas would benefit the world.  Save the Animals, Save the Trees, Save the O-Zone, we can't save ourselves.  I applaud fighting the losing battle, not really.  This is all a waste of time, you could be sleeping.  War is queer.

05/10/2005

          Oh, I am down with the sickness.  The nose is congested and running loose, achy.  My brain has developed a horrible pressure that hurts me behind my eyes.  In lighter, better, and best news ever, I scored highest on my Eng. Comp II Oral Personal Reflection 5 Found Objects Project, 95/100.  95 for the oral, 100 for the project, I finished slapping the paper mache together about an hour before class.  Then I walked, and walked, and presented, then walked, and walked.  I got a Coca-Cola, it's delicious. 

          The only comfort I find myself in at this moment is a sneeze.  And a glorious second sneeze.  My nose follows suit and almost opens up, then laughs and does stuff with snot. 

          I royally suck at oral presentations, but I kicked ass today and saved some face for my own esteem.  The prof was all, 'there was 1 hundred.'  I heard oo's and aw's, I felt depressed knowing it wouldn't be me.  Then fate totally kicked my ass and gave my mumbling mouth a smile, and I wore it, bitches. 

          I have a '90, grey, Dodge quality Caravan, it is winking the left, front light.  It looks great and sentimental value is in the millions.  I will sell for 200$ or less, no more, lest the father says so.  Looking to buy and in the Shamokin area?, 570-648-4165

hancycle and the prerequisites

04/27/2005

          I've been noticing bum feet.  You must be slightly, more to the mighty, pidgeon-toed to strut the streets of Philly and call yourself bum.  Motherfuckers are surrounding the place.  That is why no one in this city smiles.  You smile at a bum and you have made a friend, go and try to get that monkey off your back.  I guarantee you can expect him on your leg every day, until you beat him off.  My cash flow is bum status.  I keep my nickels.

          My four-day weekend was spectacular.  Jen, Jill, Ab, and my mother came to pick my ass up approximately 2 o'clock, Friday morning.  3:45 a.m., Focus is struck by a late model Buick coupe, a little rattled.  Man is alright, tire is flattened, only damage to Focus is a cracked front bumper.  I was pulling a u'ey, I failed at finalization.

          Jen and I do it.  Morning.  We do it.  Shower.  Afternoonish.  Doing it and loving it. 

          Went to Williard's for a hangout and a chill.  Williard went to pick up the Mary, Jen and I were doing it.

          Partied at Jimothy and Frank's on Saturday.  Good things, a haze, and a battle from what I hear.  Jim laid a few choice punches every which way and where.  I did see any of it, I was not there, but all reliable sources.  Some Dane boy.

          Some one e-mail me.  Technical reasons.

04/21/2005

          Here is the long, short, paraphrase of the most screwy dream I have had since I can remember.  Long short because I am losing details explaining that I do not know how interesting this or interested y'all are.  So, I napped...ripply lines ripply lines...Place: The Schu Farm and Dilliplane Swingset.  Time: Warm Time.  People: Billy Beardsley, Thugs, Sluts, Kristen Schu, Nan Weller, Methodists, Jen Thew, Mike Kreski, John Williard, Leo Schu, Frank Fullmer, RockyDog, and myself.  Plot and What Went Down:

          Billy Beardsley and I were at the farm, there was some sort of religious festival going on, I do not know the exact circumstances.  However, there was a bonfire and drinking, the church stuff was down by the sulfur creek, but I do not see it till later.  So we wonder over to the Dilliplane's swing set, because there is really nothing else to do.  As we are swinging a school bell rings and all the people come out for recess.  Two 'thugs' are in Billy's swing path, and will not move, and we're swinging high as kites by then.  Billy yells, thugs yell back, I look toward the picnic table full of more thugs and sluts, but very ugly sluts with black hair.  There are kids everywhere, all of elementary and high school age, except Billy, the thugs, sluts, and myself.  I swing one more full and high turn, then stop short, but I can remember wanting to do that little flip that can be done, I didn't.  I glance about and momentarily see Kristen, so I go to search.  I find her and we talk about the end of high school coming, it is sad and happy, expected.  Billy Beardsley at this time is no where to be found.  I wonder over to the left of the tree line at the bottom of the field where there is a road that eventually leads to the creek.  There Nan Weller, Mrs. Weller the elem. music teacher, her sister, and other confirmed Methodists are dressed up in artsy reindeer suit, reigned together.  I hear singing, at this time I look back and all of the children, and throngs of all people, are lined behind me.  The reindeered Methodists start to trot to the river, Everyone follows, rushing past me, I see Billy, some religi has him by the shirt, yelling at him and to official figures, 'HE'S A CIVILIAN, HE'S A CIVILIAN.'  I grab him, we run to my house, Kathryn's car is waiting, and now manual.  Me, Billy, Jen, Kreski, Williard, pile in to the car, but I stop short and run to the house where my pop and Frank Fullmer are talking about unimportant things.  A metal framed Christmas tree is folding itself up, fully electric and modern, also 2-dimensional.  I wanted to ask Frank for a cigarette, he sits on the recliner and reclines, to get me a cig.  Rocky, my puppy, wants out, so I go to let him out and there's a thin, foot-long snake.  I have a left-handed stove mit on, ?, so I grab for the snake and get him by the tail, but he's larger, and strong.  My dad tells us it's an 'orange snake.'  I get out the fire poker to hold its head, but I end up killing the snake.  It bursts into flames and I try to put it out but I can't, I accidentally fling a piece under Frank's recliner, a piece hits Rocky and he drops over dead, there are maggots, also from the snake.  All the excitement dims and there is kind of a light projected on my father holding Rocky, saying his good byes and crying, I am crying too.  I see a maggot, a good 3 inch, bloated maggot, on Rocky.  Then two, three...  Rocky starts to kick lightly, He's Alive!, his left eye opens, it is nothing but maggots, like he if full of them.  I rush outside, think about how I went in for a ciggy, no cig...End of dream and I wake up sweaty.

republic

04/20/2005

          Benedict!  Benedict!  Benedict!  Benedict!  Benedict!  Benedict!  Benedict!  Benedict!  Benedict!  He is hardcore catholic and unmovable.  Apparently the world is moving toward a 'dictatorship of relativism,' about oneself and one's ego.  Instead we should line up to Christ, put the paychecks in the plate, and wonder like sheep until Jesus returns.  I don't know which side you are on, I choose us instead of Him.

          Jennifer Lynn Thew, the most beautiful of Shamokinites, gave me a visit this past weekend.  She brought me goodies galore in the form of sodas, Gatorades, rice and pasta packs, angel hair pasta, sauces, jersey sheets, towels, washcloths, Gushers, etc, etc, etc.  She is wonderful, and did I mention beautiful.  Oh yeah, along with the 2 days of heaven she was here there were a good few hours of passion that...I do not know, it was spectacular sex.  No words, no..words.  I can't wait to do it all again as soon as possible. 

          At the beginning of the week I needed a bicycle.  My mother brought me the Special Ed I acquired back at PSofU.  Today Caulder, my oldest sister's boyfriend, gave the Hancycle, a vintage son of a bitch.  I am pretty sure it is orange, may be red.  See you on a road near you.

          Today I applied to an erotic pleasures store.  I walked in to a mass of dildo and outfits, police women, all kinds.  That is all the info I have, I am sure if employment is secured there will be stories and funny picture shit.  That is really all....stay tuned for every day updates probably closer to once a week.