Notes from under the blue hat

www.peatage.com

 

INTRO:                  

                                 Today is 12-24-1.  That’s Christmas Eve all right.  It’s been the usual month since my last column so there’s plenty to talk about.  I’ll try to make this one worth reading!  Let’s jump in and see what Santa has in his big harry bag, giddy up!

 

 

MAILBAG:  This email was sent to me from [email protected]:

 

Here is the pic of me with my new Joe Satriani custom guitar. Download now.

 

If you haven’t seen this yet, email NADS and I’m sure he’ll send you a copy.  Rock on my boy. 

 

 

PLAYER NEWS:   

 

                                 Carl Buchin:  We have him, and you don’t.

 

Newcomer Brain Prince is swamped up at Circuit City in Novi.  He almost suffered a season ending injury due to a VCR…seriously, ask him.  He’s very excited about the upcoming season and is looking forward to giving it his all.

                    

                                 Mike “Olive loaf” O’Neil hates the Detroit Lions.  Our team elder is taking it easy this winter hoping to be 100% when the season starts.  Merry Christmas Mike O’Neil.

 

                                 Jason Krimm, the loyal Joe Vision attendee he is, plans to have a holly jolly Christmas filled with Red Wing victories and alcoholic beverages.  You might be able to catch Jason in the off-season if he plans on watching the Wings game at the Sidelines bar and grill on New Years Eve.  Most of you know that Sidelines is located right next to the Bicentennial fields on 7 mile.  Please, only team members need attend.

                                

                                  Casey “No more bread for me” O’Neil has everything ready to go for next season.  The ball is rolling, rolling over our pathetic competition!  Casey also found an internship at Danny’s in Windsor.  He said something along the lines of “It’s not how much muscles you have, it’s how you use them.”

 

                                 Philippe Burney has received the biggest response so far from fans about his 20 Questions interview.  He was a very good sport when asked about his hot wife.  His new little one Celeste was a recent fan of the week as well.  What more can you say?   It’s good to be Philippe.

 

                                 Tim Orow is a man of many talents.  This guy has been with us from the beginning.  He’s been there through all the good times and through all the great times.  It’s fantastic to have a loyal and gifted athlete with us on the team.   His wife also makes great food.  Just think, where would we be today without the Catman!? 

 

                                 Scott “I breed twins” Krimm is currently working on his 20 Questions.  He’s putting some time and effort into them and they’re sure to deliver some laughs.  He also recently got transferred at work or something.

 

                                 Matt “zamboni jabroni” Marken has gone back to his roots and once again works at his first job, the Farmington Hills Ice Arena.  Cleaning crues are the best, you don’t have to do anything!  In other news he’s put on some holiday weight and checked in at 150.5.  After completing a 3.0 semester at U of lick my anus, Matt has time to relax and enjoy Christmas before he starts his last semester.  In baseball news, he still has his muddy cleats in the car.  In news that matters, some guy in Boston had a bomb in his shoe.  It turned out just to be feces from Tim Orow’s cats.

                                

Damian Krimm also enjoys going to Joe Vision, seeing Karen Newman from only feet away, and getting free WRIF swag and bobble heads from 101.1 DJ Meltdown.  Sometimes it’s good to know the home run champ.  There just needed to be more flashers and it would have been a perfect night.

 

                                 Bill Marken’s 20 Questions are up.  Check that out.  He’s spending his winter playing in the Livonia over 30-hockey league where team Daily is tearing it up.  Hopefully he’ll be able to attend more games this season.  It will be interesting to see what will happen if he tells Carl what to do again.

 

                                 Timmy “sunshine and lollypops” Marken is still rapping and rolling and somehow passed all his classes at Schoolcraft.  Currently only Tim and Casey are in the temporary “Peetage Unemployment” file.  If you want to know more about Timmy Poop…..Timmy sunshine and lollypops, email [email protected] your questions to be included in his future 20 Questions interview.

 

                                 Randy Dell is still too busy for lunch.

 

                                 Chris “Nads” Mazzara as mentioned earlier has a new Joe Satriani guitar.  He’s that guy with the summer song.  Nads will be a big part of the team this year.  It’s great to have him on as a regular.

 

                                 Jim Bradow + The Ground Round bar = Good times.  Jim is a riot as we all know and it’s great to have him back as well on a regular basis.

 

 

 BIRTHDAYS: 

 

Peetage birthdays for the month of December are as follows.  On December 18th – Tim Orow.  On December 25th – The big man upstairs and Brian Prince.  Brian was right, his birthday comes but once a year and it’s a day we’ll never eeeeeeeeeever forget.

 

PEETAGE SURVEY: 

 

 Of the following, who will have the biggest impact on Peatage next season?  Chirs Mazzara, Randy Dell, Brian Prince, or the mystery man.  Currently Nads is winning with 7 of 16 votes followed closely by Ca….the mystery man.  Will there ever be a survey that our mystery man won’t have a big part in?  For more survey fun, send your suggestions to [email protected].

 

 

PEETAGE RUMORS: 

 

Rumors that Carl ate all Matt’s wheat thins are true.

 

Rumors that Peetage signed Carl are so true.

 

Rumors that ONE HOT MINUTE will be available in video as well as audio are true.

 

Rumors that pictures of a 297lb Philippe will soon be available on our website are true.

 

Rumors that Jeff Wade will return if promised a new jacket are false.

 

Rumors that I’m going to Wrestlemania in Toronto and you’re not are true.

 

 

FAN OF THE WEEK: 

 

Our current fan of the week is Emily Cole.  She likes Peetage I guess.

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?:

 

                                    Jeff Wade has left the team without reason.  We think it’s because he lost his jacket or that he developed that Gary Coleman disease.

 

                                    Jason Bumtine is trying to organize a team for next season possibly in Livonia. 

 

                                    Crazy Carl Buchin doesn’t belong here anymore because he plays for team Peetage.

 

Anthony Ciatti has not been heard from for weeks.  It may or may not be true that he’s in the hospital due to a mustard overdose.

 

Jimmy “Airwolf” Moore is having fun in the sun in Arizona.  He’s sticking to his ax and is carrying on what he started in Backseat Rhythm.  Other than that, you’ll all soon know how he earned the nickname “Airwolf”.

 

                                    Matt Ritzler is getting married, playing drums, and shooting at people and objects.

 

                                    Brad MadDonald is involved in things that cannot be mentioned here.

 

                                    Kyle Galan needs to be contacted soon.  Where has this kid gone?

 

Lorne may give us all a little surprise soon…..and this time, I mean it…..I really really mean it.

 

Gary Ushiro rules.  Several team members may visit Gary soon and give you an update on what he’s up to.

 

                                    Scott Matusicky is now vice president of his frat.  File this under G.A.F.

 

Craig Kelley via 20 Questions interviews has been voted number 1 as our favorite past Peetage player.

 

Jeff Ellsworth is probably home from Michigan Tech right now.  We really should try to contact him.

 

Scott Krimm’s brother in law will make his way back into the Peetage world one way or another.  You’ll see.

 

                                    Mike Mess and Ryan are those two guys.

 

                                    Don.

 

Pat Morgan can eat and digest whole turkeys.

 

 

RANDOM CRAP:

 

                                    New phat pictures of Philippe are coming soon.

                       

                                    Any ideas as to what to give away to fan number 10,000?

 

                                    ONE HOT MINUTE!……Details soon to come. 

                                   

                                    Megan O’Neil has won the Backseat Rhythm cymbal with the final bid of 45 dollars!  What a trooper.  45 dollars for the American Red Cross is more than we ever thought we would get.  There will later be pictures on the website of Matt handing the money over to the ARC and Megan with her new prize possession.  Thanks to everyone that bid.

 

                                    Team member Matt Marken will be attending the Sidelines bar and grill on New Years Eve to view the Red Wings game on the big screen at 7p.m.  Any or all team members are welcome to join.

 

 

Emails, feedback, crap, and pictures of Lita can be sent to [email protected].

 

Tipping the hat and signing off, this has been Notes from under the jock strap.

 

Disclaimer:  Everything you just read is a complete lie……SUCKERS!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

Complaints about my crappy column can be sent to [email protected]. 

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