INTRO:
Today is 10-1-1. Ahoy Mates!
It’s time once again for a column o crap about the best little ball team
in Livonia. Peetage has currently gone
1-1 against Potter’s Tree Service and have extended our record to 4-5-1. All right, lets get to the mailbag. Giddy up!
MAILBAG: This
letter comes to me from Casey O’Neil on
9-26-1:
“To: [email protected]
follow
the words of wisdom from randy dell...."it doesn’t matter if their
married, trust me, I’ve had a few married ones."
thankyou
-Casey”
This
has been Words of Wisdom with Randy Dell.
PLAYER NEWS:
Tim Orow: The cat man has been missing in action for
our last game. What’s up with that?
Scott Krimm can still deliver the
goods. Scott has been carrying a big
bat to the plate getting base hit after base hit. He also said tits once.
Jason Krimm representing one half
of the B.O.D. has been trying his
skills at the second base position. He
seems to enjoy it there while Jason Buntine has now moved over to first base at
least for our last game. Shuffling the
cards is good sometimes. And you know
the Krimms’ anyway. They just want to
have fun! (And drink before games)
Damian Krimm still in right field
is providing some good defense. Other
than outfielding the Krimms, Casey, and Matt also enjoy performing karaoke at
the Penalty Box bar on Plymouth road.
Stop in and see them tear it up on stage! (For other Krimm news read “Random Crap” at the bottom of the
notes)
Coach Casey O took over the left
field duties for a while in our last game while Matt moved over to right
center. With 2 weeks left will our
coach be unveiling a secret weapon?……I think we all know what I’m talking
about…..LORNE!
Jason Buntine played first base and
extended that arm out far to make some fantastic outs this week. Jay also provided some solid hits for the
team and scored several times. Honestly
now, when does Jason NEVER score?
Matt Marken started our in his
usually position….left field! Later in
the game he moved over to right center where things were not what they
seemed. Objects were closer than they
appeared. It was fun mixing it up a bit
and we even pulled off a victory. A
golden glove doesn’t mean much to Matt right now. He needs to start hitting the ball again….past the short stop
that is.
Carl Buchin went from right center
to left center in our last game. Carl
still swings a big bat as well and judging from the message board and poll,
this is a machine you don’t want to mess with!
Anthony Ciatti stuck with his usual
position at SS. Goldberg’s return can
only spell disaster for our next opponents. WHO’S NEXT!
Mike “I hate purchase orders”
O’Neil is still on the team but relaxing during football season. Perhaps in our last few games he might just
reappear to guide us into the spotlight one more time.
Philippe’s done making babies for
the time being and has focused on getting on base again. Like Matt, Philippe finally saw some bagege
this week. His newborn little girl is named
Celest and was 36lbs 2oz. Congrats.
Bill Marken. Our 50-year-old veteran still has class and
is unable to attend Peetage games. Bill
is currently buffing up for this years strong man competition. He’s currently up to 162 lbs.
Tim “Good God almighty free at
last” Marken is still off probation.
Tim is still trying to clean up his act a bit but also has that
“temper”. For more information email
Carl at [email protected] about the
Tim/toothpick incident. Because of
this, Tim may never play again.
Jim Bradow has recently been released from the
hospital. Apparently he had some
stomach troubles I believe, but nothing serious. Our team misses Jim and hopefully he can start playing again next
season.
Chris “Nads” Mazzara could possibly be the Peetage
player with the most heart! He’s doing his best to promote Peetage up at CMU
and is returning this weekend for some fun filled shenanigans. Amy will be taping a live
performance/goofing around of Backseat Rhythm.
To all our fans, (both of you), we won’t disappoint!
Randy Dell has proved that drinking a “pitcher” of
beer before the game WILL in fact make you a better pitcher! Stop in at the Sidelines bar right next to
the Bicentennial Fields before a game.
You might just catch some Peetage members in there knocking a few back
and playing strip poker on the video max machine.
Jeff Wade, the faithful Notes from under the blue hat
reader he is, is still playing third base and firing that ball over to first
every chance he gets. Just imagine what
would happen if we put the magic jacket on Carl!!! You can also catch Jeff singing the Barney theme karaoke at the
Penalty Box as well.
PEETAGE
SURVEY: If Carl were an animal, what kind of
animal would he be? Carl has 8 votes
for butterfly and even more for “a machine of destruction”. It’s all crazy! We need a new poll. If
you have any suggestions email them to [email protected].
CONFIRMED PEETAGE RUMORS:
Rumors that hot chocolate and
running don’t mix well are true.
Rumors that Bill Marken sings
“Firehouse” karaoke style are false.
Rumors
that Allan is the new team “Jose” are true.
Rumors
that our usual umpire was pushed off a steep cliff are false.
Rumors
that Pat ate Jimmy Moore are true.
All
rumors about Jeff Wade are also true.
WWF NEWS: I
Kurt
Angle will be appearing September 27th at KMART in Rochester
Michigan.
Bob
"Hardcore" Holly had surgery Thursday in Birmingham, Ala., to remove
the plate from his previously broken arm and will be out six months.
Taker
is working through a slight shoulder separation.
Diamond
Dallas Page's surgically repaired knee is pretty much good to go. His return is
imminent.
Kane's
infected elbow is close to 100 percent.
Triple
H's rehabilitation continues in Birmingham and his return looks to be early
December, maybe a little sooner.
Mick
Foley will be on ABC’s “Who wants to be a millionaire” next week. unfortunately, he is
still injured. The other "big names
Lita is hot and I also
watch grown men wrestle (That’s for you Jay!)
FAN OF THE WEEK: Our Peetage fan of the week is
currently my monkey, Mojo. Before that
was little Samantha Burney. Very soon
we will have a new fan of the week once the site is updated. How soon we do forget though that Megan
O’Neil comes to nearly EVERY game we play!
Where are they
now?: Jim
Moore as previously mentioned has been eaten by Pat.
Matt
Ritzler still shoots people and is now engaged to be married. Best of luck Officer Ritz.
Sir Brad Macdonald likes bagpipes.
Kyle
Galan is still just some kid.
Lorne
needs to make a return to Peetage.
Everyone
is in agreement that Gary Still rules.
Machine
Gun Craig Kelly has remodeled his kitchen.
Check out the sexy counter top.
Jeff
Ellsworth is still someone no one remembers or cares about
Scott
Matuisky who purposely threw a Peetage game:
see Jeff Ellsworth.
Random crap: KRIMMINATION: As mentioned on the message board, team
member Matt Marken wanted to do a little something special for Peetage fan
number 6969. After all, it only happens
once. Fan 1,000, Sarah Kelley won an
autographed baseball. As mentioned by
NADS, the winner could choose from a traditional autographed baseball to an
item autographed by Backseat Rhythm.
With Nads’ John Hancock on it would make it very valuable already! But since number 6969 was hit by Matt and
the Krimms apparently, they WILL win the prize instead of number 7000 winning
anything. The band has available 1
drumhead or assorted drum sticks.
Congrats you sexy Krimms!
MVP
VOTING: for those of you who still
haven’t voted for the regular season MVP you can send your 3 picks for MVP to [email protected].
EMAIL: Emails, feedback, suggestions, nude
pictures of Lita, our old umpires head on a stick, and crap can be sent to
Tipin the
hat and signing off, this has been Notes from under the blue hat.
Disclaimer: Everything you just read is a complete lie……SUCKERS!!!!!!!!!
Complaints about my crappy column can be sent to [email protected] .