INTRO:
Today is 3-5-1. It has been a
while since the last update so lets hop to it and see what’s in the mailbag!
MAILBAG: This
letter comes to me from “Phillipe” on 3-5-1:
“I’ll bring my wife to more games, I promise!!! Don’t cut Senior Phillipege!” Sorry Phillipe, you’re cut.
PLAYER NEWS:
Jeff Wade has hung up
his Peetage jersey and has returned to his old league. Good luck Jeff!
Jimmy “airwolf” Moore has
been reading books. He still thinks
he’s going to take over the world. I
don’t think anything can stop Jimmy myself.
Who knows what powers Airwolf and his big guns will bring to the plate
this season.
Gunner Kelley is recovering
nicely from his 202 broken bones when he was “mysteriously” pushed down the
basement stairs last week. All we could
understand of his mumbling was “Ahh, my back.”
Let’s all learn from this most Kane-like hardcore style of Gunners.
Tim Orow still owns 24 house cats. From what we hear he has been bulking up this season. Tim brings a lethal combination of power and
speed to the plate each and every at bat.
It’s good to have him with the Peetage family.
Keep an eye on Scott Krimm….silent
but deadly.
Jason Buntine is geared up for
another monstrous season AND movie. Our
MVP is very excited about the soon to be written Peetage movie. More on that later in the update.
Matt Marken has bought a new glove
(pause for applause). Hopefully he’ll
break it in in time for the upcoming season.
His goal is to get more homeruns than the number on his jersey. He is currently at 10 so it might take a few
years.
Carl Buchin has been joining Matt
on the ice for more hardcore training at the APA. Several other Peetage members such as Casey, Jimmy A wolf, and
Jason Buntine have been working on their skating and conditioning as well. Carl is still huge, taking on 4 guys at a
time, and eating 40lbs of raw meat each day.
Mike “Good Afternoon” O’Neil has
been sharpening his pitching skills and hopes to pass on his knowledge to
another pitcher in near future.
Anthony Ciatti from what I hear has
been in Africa doing God knows what.
Lets just hope he comes back without a disease and is ready to help
Peetage dominate yet another season.
Sadly Phillipe has been
released. If he had brought his wife to
a few more games we may not have had to handle things this way.
Also “Fire Marshall” Bill Marken
may sub in for a few games again this season as well as “Out on probation” Tim
Marken.
PEETAGE
SURVEY: Right
now 67% of our fans would want to trade
places with Nutty the Squirrel…you sick bastards.
CONFIRMED
PEETAGE RUMORS: Yes
INDEED! A Peetage movie is in the works
by our team members and friends. This
movie is going to be one fantastic sloberknocker!
Also
from our rumor dept….it’s true it’s true.
Jimmy Bradow is back for the attack!
He’s strapping on the cleats once again and is also going to be a hoot
on the Peetage bench. Welcome back Jim!
Despite all the rumors, Sixto Lezcano will NOT be the new Peetage outfield coach. Bummer
MOJO: From what I hear, mojo is also in Africa…odd?
Message
board: Oh
this crazy message board. WWF and
Simpson quotes everyday. What a
riot. Also, Peetage updates have been
posted there as well. Check it all
out. It’s schpedoinkel.
WWF NEWS: Scotty 2 Hotty has a
ruptured disc in his neck and he will be very limited as to what he can do for
the next six weeks or so.
Triple
H will be at WWF NY on Wednesday, March 7 from 12:00-2:00 p.m. ET doing a book
signing for "History of WrestleMania."
Billy
Gunn was not at SmackDown! due to an illness in the family. "The One"
will be back on the road this weekend.
The
Tough Enough project got underway this week at WWF New York. It looks like this
is going to be an interesting television show and could provide some very
entertaining and provocative television. This is a World Wrestling Federation -
MTV project.
WrestleMania
will have one of the most unique lineups in recent memory, perhaps ever.
Corporate shilling aside, I've got a real good feeling about this one.
Test
seems closer to breaking out as a single competitor now than ever before. The
young Canadian has a ton of potential and needs a strong issue to elevate his
and the European Championship's status.
Edge
banged up his back at No Way Out but is feeling better and should be back at TV
on Monday. Edge will miss this weekend's houseshows as will Christian.
Chyna's
book has a better than 50/50 chance at becoming a No. 1 best seller within the
next couple of weeks. "If They Only Knew" is No. 2 this week on the
New York Times Best Seller List.
The
Matt Hardy - Lita issue seems to have fans' interest. Lots of ways for this one
to go. It's another step in the elevation of the Hardys and the lovely Lita.
I
heard some good feedback on the Crash - Molly team. Both these youngsters can
really go and I hope they continue to receive opportunities to contribute.
Lots
of fireworks seem to be coming up with the Radicalz. All four are healthy and
now is a great time to be building momentum with WrestleMania just over a month
away.
Mark
Henry weighed in this week at 322 pounds, down 93 pounds from 415. That's
pretty amazing when you think about it. Mark must continue to work hard with
the in-ring product but it seems that his motivation is where it should be.
K-Kwik
will be out 3 weeks with a severely broken rib
Lita is hot
FAN OF THE WEEK: Our fan of the week is Amy
Lewinski. Many new fans will be brought
out for the slaughtering of Peetage enemys…and Earl this year. Let’s welcome them with open arms!
Where are they
now?: Brad
Macdonald is still coaching childrens soccer and is spending quality time at
the shelter reading “little women” to the kids.
Matt
Ritzler is now doing stakeouts and eating 1 dozen donuts per day.
Kyle
Galan and his boy band “The little rascals” are on a world tour. I wonder if they have steak n shakes in
Greece.
Randy
Dell’s where abouts is unknown
Lorne
is still out with a bad back
Gary
still rules. He works on computers now
EMAIL: Emails, feedback, and suggestions
can be sent to
Tipin the
hat and signing off, this has been Notes from under the blue hat.