WITH SCOTT KRIMM 1/10/02

It's time for 20 Questions with Scotti "Too Hotti" Krimm IF that is his real
name....which it isn't. This is going to be great.


1. Alright. It's time to cut the crap and get down and dirty. Your "tit's" count is up to 7, meaning that you've said the word "tits" 7 times. Since several team members have never heard you speak, is this true?

Well it is true that I may have used the word “tits” a few times, but to clarify What I was referring to was men’s tits which are a pair of brown dots to balance a mans pecks, not the magnificent mounds that grace the upper front part of a woman.

2. You haven't filled out the questions on your Peetage profile. Whats up
with that?

I work long hours and don’t have a lot of time to get online (also my sons tie it up all the time).  Also when I start to fill it out the boys either laugh or call me a liar.

3. When were you first introduced to the team and what did you think?

The fall of 2000, I was impressed with the well oiled machine that I had become a part of, although I never drank the mustard, I did pet the monkey.

4. What past baseball experience do you have?

I played one year of little league, one year in Jr. High, and two years of softball in the 70’s.  Now you know where my unequalled skills come from.

5. On a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a broken down bread truck and 10 being totally tits, rate the following ball players:

Mark McGwire= 7-1/2  Started his  career strong, slowed down in the middle but ended it strong.
Barry Bonds= -20 The only thing he is out for is personal records and he always disappears in the playoffs (By the way I’m from Pittsburgh and he said a lot of nasty things about the city I love)
Guy LaFluer=  10 His speed and stick handling were far above any ball player in the league at that time.
Cal Ripkin Sr.= 5 Average player, but a good coach and his semen produced one of the best players of all time.
Mike O'Neil 1969= A solid 12.  It’s hard to separate the player from the legend, there is no one on this level to compare him to.  We also have the honor of playing with an all-star that his semen has produced.

6. You've won the rookie of the year, most improved player award, and the sportsmanship award. Is there anything you can't do!?

You forgot that this fall I also got my first double. Now that I’m hitting for power I have become the complete package.

7. Why are you number 16?

Number 16 was the number I wore in the first hockey league I played in, and that was the same year I met my loving wife.  Also 3-16-79 was the day we were married.

8. Finish these sentences:

The best thing about our website is you can check your stats to see where you need to improve to help the team.
Sometimes when no one is watching I head straight for my recliner, lay back and let the TV watch me.
I really like Jason better than Damian because the  parking tickets that used to come from Windsor are addressed to Damian Scott Krimm.  I find it hard to explain to my wife that I was not the one getting a ticket outside of the topless bar.
The last time i said "tits" it was in regards to it was referring to a 1954 Chevy II all decked out.
If I had one wish I would wish for world peace or a winning lotto ticket.

9. As mentioned earlier, you like the word "tits". So does that have anything to do with the song T & A playing on your Peetage profile?

All I can say is that I’m not into rap, but I am into T + A.

10. If we were to see Carol Krimm vs. Carol Marken in a good housekeeping match, what would that be like?

The smell of Lysol, the flaring of dust mops,  dish cloths and towels flying, the roar of the vacuums, and the sloshing of the mop buckets.  The carnage would be unbearable.

11. What are your 3 favorite things about being on the team?

1. I can freely use the word tits.
2. I did get to pet the monkey.
3. It doesn’t hurt as bad as getting hit with a hockey puck.

12. If you were stuck in an elevator and could have 2 teammates with you, who would they be and why?

It would have to be the Brothers of Destruction, because when we got trapped I could blame it all on them.  No matter what went wrong it would be their fault.  The only problem would be after we got out Damian would tell his mother everything, then it would be my fault.

13. What do you remember about the following years:

1950= I was swimming around just waiting for the perfect egg. (four years later I found it)
1970= I was in the 10th grade and still had to doge all the juniors and seniors that my older brother had beat up and they were taking it out on me.
1985=  B.O.D. started school and I got back my Wednesday afternoon naps.
1995=  The year before I had made a bad decision and went to work for Wonder Bread, but in 1998 I saw the light and returned to Taystee.
2001=  A sad year because I had planed to be with my peetage brothers (and sister, Laura) but the evil Earthgrain monster swept me away to Minnesota and Grand Rapids, and deprived me of my softball needs.

14. Who is your favorite former Peetage player and why? (Ex: Lorne, Kyle,
Scott, Craig, Jeff, Gary, Ritz, Jimmy "airwolf" Moore, Scott Krimm's brother
in law)

Scott Krimm’s Brother in law was probably the premier peetage player of all time.  He was relentless at the plate, his fielding has never been questioned, and he carries the highest batting average of all time.

15. Has Scott Krimm ever:

Hit for the cycle=  Yes, It was the 4th of July 1990.  I was the early supervisor taking calls from customers who needed buns for the holiday.  I was all done for the day so I called home to tell my loving wife that I was on my way home.  She asked me to stop at Farmer Jack and get some coleslaw for the guests that were coming to our house for a bar-b-que.  I was making a right turn on Farmington Rd. off of 9 mile, when a lady riding a cycle the wrong way in the right lane cut in front of me and that’s when I hit the cycle.
Wondered who would win if the brothers of destruction went at it= Over the years the house has suffered much damage.  Holes in the walls, doors demolished, and broken furniture.  I say overall it would be a tie, but the worst part of it all would be the yelling and arguing.  You would think it was the sisters of destruction.
Used hockey equipment on the baseball field= That would be against the rules and I would never do suck a thing. (your not talking about my cup are you?)
Sang karaoke= Yes, it was after 8 Gin & Tonics and 10 buttery nipples.  After my performance I am no longer aloud in Arden Hills Minnesota. 
Just wanted to dance= Every time I try I am asked to leave because the laughter is so loud that know one can hear the music.

16. Tell us one thing about yourself that the team doesn't already know.

I am a Phi Beta Kappa and a road scholar.

17. If you could be Carl for one day, what would you do with yourself and to others?

If I was Carl for on day I would already have Bin Laden captured and then with the 23 hours left I would clean up the rest of Afghanistan

18. Word Association. Mention the first thing that comes to you when you hear:

Brothers of Destruction= House repairs
Peetage= Number one
Tits= Huge
Wonderbread=  Toxic waste
Shenanigans= Brothers of Destruction
Tim Orow's cats= soft, warm, fluffy.

19. What are your plans for the offseason this winter?

Try to stop some pucks and not get hurt.

20. Did you enjoy your 20 Questions Scott Krimm? (Also use this space to say
anything you want or plug your stuff/website/merchandise.)

Sorry I took so long to finish, but I am a busy man (and a bad typist).  Also I have two Unemployed sons looking for work.  Your help in this matter would be greatly appreciated!