the four

all ive got is the four;
the fabulous ageless? four.
it was a cold proposition,
and they were buried.

but [extracting them was an experience]
i
shall
not
forget.

and you-
maybe i got part of you.
maybe your hair.
maybe your mind.
i am only a visitor here.

but [it was icy and snowy]
i
will
probably
forget.

--------------------------------------------


i went to the lake to see you,
but i don’t know if you can see me
holding the strings.
i am. you are.

and everything that had been
yours should be mine.
but what did you have?
you can’t talk.
you don’t exist.
what am i missing?

guess i had your chance years ago.
it seemed cold,
but you didn’t seem to mind.
how could you?
you don’t exist,
at least in this float.

-------------------------------------------

so you bailed.
like a large coward,
you bailed.
iiiiiiiiiiii.
what about me?
all ive got are some shady memories,
and a chance to visit once in a long while.
it
seems inane, doesn’t it?

how could you know?
they only told you fifteen fucking years ago.
it was unacceptable.
you chose.
you lost.
i lost.
it won.
its fair.
i don’t mind.
iiiiiiiiiiii.

--------------------------------------------


i feel like a compson.

    you remember that?
    hums.
    that might return.

    you are my worst cousin!
oh good.
thought i had a chance.

    you are the king of insensitivity.
quit with her.
i am inferior.

    no, but thanks for asking.
asshole.
    -way to go.

    inhales.
crys.
    inhales.
    coughs.
slams.
leaves.
cries.
    doesn’t care.
resents.
    fucks.

what have you done?