| "There's More Than One Way to Skin a Cat" from The Flophouse |
| It's always a treat to pick up a new scroll and just see the sleaze dripping from the edges and the smut smearing your fingers as you try to unroll it, as in this case. Flop granted me use os her scrolls for the Sweat Hut and I shall take very good care of them. Apparently, she too wonders what goes on in the author's mind while piecing together a string of sleaze, and she does a fine job herself I might add <g>. "...Skin a Cat" is your classic Xena and Gabrielle pairing with a little twist of filth. Ya gotta love filth. Filth is good. Screw cleanliness is next to godliness because filth just opens up a whole new world that is screaming to be explored. Are you ready for The Moist Review!?! Are YOU ready!!!!!! Then what are you waiting for? Let's go! Sex Scenes: 1, only 1. Moist/Moisture: 3, but there is still a lot of saturation, wetness, and dampness here, so not to worry. Climaxes: This was a little tricky. I counted 3, but the scene splits after the first to a little while later for Gabby's last two. **NOTE** all climaxes were the bard's. Kink Factor? Nah, nothin' out of the ordinary so far. No whips, chains, saddle horns, nipple clamps, ben wah balls, strings of pearls, safe words, or Mistress/Slave games. This is straight forward sex without the unusual kink perks, but it still holds your intrest. In the euphemism category, we have the everyday breasts, nipples, damp curls... But we do have saturated breeches, damp clefts, pulsing and protruding buds, heated thighs, golden curls which have a tendancy to swallow fingers, engorged pebbles, and folds of velvet flesh. Flop fills in the gaps rather nicely. As we all know, I review sex scenes, not the entire story. I will tell you now that the first half of the story leads up to this scene in its own good time. You see, Xena buys a phallus from an old crone in a tent at the marketplace. Why didn't I mention the phallus before in the Kink Factor? Well fellow smut enthusiast, Flop has an interesting sense of humor. She brings the phallus into the story, leading us to believe that it will be the focal point of the ensuing passionate exchange. But no. I also neglected to mention that there are TWO parts to this story and part two is not yet finished. So there we have it. An unused phallus just waiting to be abused by a bard and warrior princess and we don't get to see it until PART fucking TWO! But its not the end of the world, right? <sigh> Anyhoo... A revelation was made by Xena and of course Gabrielle had to inquire about it... "Well, bards taste different during the winter and summer."--Did you know that? I didn't know that. But I guess only Xena would know that and Perdicas only got "Spring Bard" "Winter bard has a definite spice to it that warms the palate on a cold evening. But, personally," Xena pulled one end of the ties until the knot came free and she smiled to herself. "I prefer summer bard. They have a better flavor. The sun and heat all makes for a nice, satisfying dish."--And there we have it! Xena likes a nice warm summer bard! "...she drifted her fingers down the valley between and smiled up at Gabrielle at the wetness she found there. Lingering in the pool for a moment..."-- I really hope it wasn't the shallow end... "Xena slipped the tips of her thumbs past the outer lips, dipping into the moist recess and stroked back and forth along each side." -- You know I have to document the first appearance of MOIST. "Re-planting her hand between heated thighs..."-- Which had only been transplanted from there to a "hard cheek" a moment ago. "The space of time before she brought her mouth to her friend's center was almost spiritual to her."--I had to stop and laugh. Whenever someone brings spirituality, religion, or philosophy into a sex scene, it does slow it to a halt <shaking head and taking deep breaths> "Inhaling deeply, she drew in the intoxicating essence of the woman."--A strange revalation had just come to me with that line... A mental image of sorts... Why is everyone smoking pot and putting themselves at risk of breaking the law when they can just find the nearest female crotch and... Just imagine a New York City bus ride... "...with the tip of her tongue, she bathed Gabrielle intimately leaving no corner uninspected."-- Xena! You missed that dust bunny over there! "Caressing a puckered opening with her fingertip"--Can we guess which opening that one is? "Gabrielle's groans were coming faster. Her hips, unable to find a rhythm, simply lurched and bucked at the invasion of all points south"-- I think that explains it. There is an interesting paragraph here, I won't put it up because, well, you gotta read the story. But it has to do with Xena's skill of "vocal stimulation" and a certain song she hums on Gabrielle's... "she felt Xena's tongue making tender licks around ground zero."-- After reading that, my first thought was "disaster area." I just got word from inside the Sweat Hut that they have thrown down their palm fronds and are volunteering as clean up crew. <g> Well, well, well, that brings another exciting Moist Review to an end! And exciting it was. Flop leaves us hanging at the end waiting with baited breath for the conclusion. Yes, we do want to know how that phallus comes into play. Now with everyone ushered back into the Sweat Hut I can get the poll for this tease of sleaze. I can be mean and tease Flop right back by NOT giving a score until she finishes this damn story. Or I can... Ya know what? <hands on hips> I don't think it would be fair to give Flop a score until I have the entire story to review in whole. Since I know of a few inside of The Sweat Hut who would like to give her a spanking for it... With cat-o-nines... Flop has sleazes into the Sweat Hut, but she will get the first ever |
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| At least until you finish the damn story and show us the phallus!!! How's that as a kick in the ass to get you goin'? <eg> |
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