| HOw tA pLeaSe aN aZn gURl |
1) be RICH!! this is iMportaNt fOr yOo, buT nOT fOr heR. foR her the #2 ruLe fOLLows. 2)sPeNd MONEY on HER. thIS is the mOSt iMPorTant thiNg fOr heRe, wheTheR yOo aRe riCH, hAv mUNie, or mUSt liE, steAl oR kiLl to dO it. 3) bE tALL. of coURze yOO hAv nO reAl cONtrOl oVer this, buT if yOo duNT do iT, she wiL seCretLy an fOReVer reSent yOo for iT aN it wiL com ouT oF leFt fieLd to smITe yoO. pReferAbly rouNd 1 foOt taLer thAN her- not foR comFort or aeStheTics, buT beCause yOo aRe a tRopHy anD, as aLwaiiz, the biGger the beTter. 4)bE a miNdleSs ZOMBIE RULLED BY HER. foRgeT whAt yOOv heRd aBout suBMissiVe aZn woMen. theY aCtUAllI ruLe eVri reLatIONshiP wit iNsidiUos aN pAinfuL, paSsiVe-aGreSsiv, guiLt-eVoKing, whiNey, crYIn miND-cOntrol. 5)hAv the eMotIOnaL stAbiLity oF a 4-yR-oLd. sHe wiL b iMprESsed aN eNraPtuRed bY yOor deLite aT siTe of heLLo kITty, stuFfed aNimAlz, pUpPies, kITties, duCkies, bUnNIes as weL as choCOlaTes, shiNy jeWlRy, aND other tRinKest an kniK-kNaKz. aLsO, sHe wiL uNdersTaNAd peRfeCtlY wELl if yOO poUT oVeR the sMaLlest peRcieVed sligHT or sliP an deManD 2 b aPPeAsed, aSsuaGed, oR maDe uP 2, if yOo beHaVe anY oTher wAii, sHE wiL neVer uNdersTanD it. 6)drEss lYK a PRETTY BOY GEEK. this wiL sAve heR the tRoble oF rePLaCing yOOr wArdrOBe anD dreSsin yOO, heRself. 7. reMove eVri hAir on ur bODy eXcePt thOz on uR scAlp. thE siTE of whIsker oN yOOr fAce reMInds her thAt suMwher iNSide yOo is tRYin 2 grOW. u mUSt nOT gRow, u mUSt b uNChanGing and coNStanT as the fiRmamenT. 8)theRe aRe nOe mOR rUles to maKin yOOr aZn giRlfRiend eTernaLy hAPpi. if aNy siTuaTion aRisEs which yoO feEl the ruLez hAv noT adDreSsed, yOo aRe misTaKen - iMeDiaTly reFer 2 the pRimAy rULes #1 anD #2 - they aRe the sOluTion in eVery suCh cAse. |