His Pride

“She asked you to do what?”

“I know, huh?”

I stared at Jaeryoong who was peeking into his Sac Sac grape juice can to see if there were anymore stray grapes inside that he could eat. Discovering a lone grape, Jaeryoong bent his head back trying to get the grape to fall out. I stared a couple more seconds until I turned my head away, not caring to see him stick his tongue then finger into the can to get the grape out.

“So what did you say? You didn’t agree, did you?” I turned my head back to him, only to see the retard still trying to get the grape out of the can, “Jaeryoong. It’s a grape, get over it.”

I snatched the can from Jaeryoong’s hand and was about to throw it into the trashcan when his hand stopped me and he grabbed the can back. Glaring, he bent his head back once again to get the grape fall out into his mouth. About a minute later, he let out an excited ‘oh!’ as the grape fell into his mouth.

“Kwon Miyool, you don’t understand the satisfaction of eating the last grape in the can. Eating the last grape is like…well, let’s say taking a poo.”

“Your relating a grape to poo?”

He held up a finger, “okay. It’s like this the way I see it. You finish all your juice, all except for that last grape.”

“Okay?” I gave him a look, “and that relates exactly how?”

“Okay, now, for the instance of poo. You eat and eat, right?” I nodded, “well, the food gathers and gathers.”

“It gathers and gathers…and?”

I saw Jaeryoong pause for a second as if trying to find the connection between eating a damn grape and taking a poo. He fingered the tip of his nose like he usually did when he was thinking and cleared his throat.

“Well, it’s satisfying and it feels good. Kwon Miyool, you can’t be saying taking a poo isn’t satisfying.”

“It is but-”

“And you know it’s even more satisfying when you’re constipated.”

“Yeah, I know that too but-”

“That’s exactly how it relates!”

The truth was, I didn’t know how the two related but I just told him he was right because I didn’t want to deal with him and his complaining.

“So what happened with you and that girl?”

“Who?”

“Oh my God, I should just kill you!” Frustrated with Jaeryoong’s lack of understanding and stupidness, I grabbed his head between my hands and forced him to turn my way. My best friend grinned sand puckered his lips.

“Miyool, I knew you wanted me.” Turning his head away Jaeryoong wiped away an imaginary tear, “you don’t have to be so forceful.”

I threw Jaeryoong’s head away from me and stood up, “I’m going back to class.”

“I’ll find you later, so don’t leave early with Yoolhwa!”

The whole time it took me to get to my seat in my class, I could only replay what Jaeryoong had told me. What was it he basically had told me? Well, it was mostly how he had agreed to be some chick named No Suheul’s boyfriend for money so that she could get with Mingyuhl. After a couple minutes of pacing, I got up from my seat, checked to see how much time was left before lunch was over, decided there was enough time, and walked out the room to go find that No Suheul bi.tch. I’d just stepped out when I felt some clumsy retard run into me.

“Watch where the hell you’re going! What do you do with your eyes? Have them on for decoration?!” I yelled shoving her away from me.

“Ow! That hurt!” She yelled back picking herself off the ground. Something about her was vaguely familiar.

“Are you yelling at me?” I looked down at her nametag to see who had the nerve to yell at me, seeing the three characters, my eyes grew wide and I let out a smile, “you’re No Suheul? Come up to the roof, I need to talk to you.”

“What? What am I, a dog to go if you tell me to go and come if you tell me to come?”

I stopped in my tracks and turned around, “do I have to beat you up there?”

“No.” She quickly