Chapter 11
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Now… I can …. Drink a lot.. By myself….
I feel guilty thinking like this bcause of Yehwon….
But now.. I really can get drunk….
…let’s get drunk today…. It’s been a long time since I’ve been drunk….
Yehwon…. I’m sorry, you’re going to forgive me for sending you away with the fish guy right? TT_TT..
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It was fun drinking by myself…. I didn’t know how fast the time was going by….
Hmm, wonder how Yehwon’s doing right now with the fish guy…. He’s probably guarding their door so that she can’t come out… -_-
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While crying and cursing me….
…..Jungmin’s probably drinking also…..
…….and Seungpyo…
Seungpyo would be…..
…………….
….stop it…….
……………..you know you’re going to cry if you start thinking about Seungpyo….
I hate…. Being so pathetic….
I don’t want to cry from drinking….
.....
………I’ve already drunk…. 10 bottles…..
I’m started to get a slight headache…
“…excuse me… it’s time for us to close…..”
The waitress lady said gently to me..
I think she’s trying to get rid of me….
……..
“I’m sorry…. I was just about to leave…..”
I tried to keep awake….
I wanted to walk in a straight line.. Confidently….
But.. It didn’t work the way I wanted it too…
How am I going to get home…… TT_TT
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Walking shakily, I left the bar….
I don’t know what time it is..
But it must have been pretty late… because I didn’t anyone on the sidewalks…
I don’t even have money for a taxi because of I used it all….
So…
I have to walk home <_<…
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I put a lot of thought in my walk….
I want to just sit on the ground…
……should I call someone….?
Who should I call….
Jungmin…?
…………….I don’t even have anyone to call know…
If I call Yehwon…
She’s probably still at home with the fish guy still guarding the door.
Yehwon’s out.
I was in the middle of the city…
If I just go a little more…. Then I’ll be home…
As soon as I get home, I’m going to sleep….
…….no wait, I should eat some medicine….
……..no, wait. I need to wash up first.
Kyungwon! You have to think straight!
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……………there more people in the city as I got to the core….
I’d have thought they were all gone…..
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I could even see a few people like me…
They had people helping them…
But I was the only one alone….
I miss Seungpyo…
I really miss Seungpyo…..
No, wait, I can’t think about him…
If I think about him, I’ll cry.
Another one of my habits when I drink is that I can’t stop crying once I start.
Stupid Lee Kyungwon, if you cry here no one will help you feel better.
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..........…-_-...... +push+ .............
“What the hell….”
“….I’m sorry…”
Some guy said bumping into me….
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When I looked up slightly, it looked like it was a guy in college with bright yellow hair.
“It’s fine….”
When I was about to pass the guy….
……..
I felt his eyes on me even thought I was half drunk.
….I turned around squinting…
…………….and I closed my eyes…..
Then I opened them again….
Open….
Close….
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..............................................
I saw 3 people with bright yellow hair…
All guys…
And with his mouth closed tightly… was Seungpyo looking at me…
…..fawk…. Dammit, why now?
I hate people I knew seeing me when I look like this…
……….I’m crazy, I ‘m crazy……
Tears are starting to gather in my eyes….
I feel anger bubbling inside me and sadness….
…..I turned back again….
And slowly started walking… step by step….
I didn’t hear anything behind me, so I turned back around once more.
The four guys were still standing where they were, just staring at me….
…..the three had pitying looks on their faces…
And….
…I could see Seungpyo just staring at me….
I turned my head again….
It’s exhausting….
He’s in front of my eyes again, he’s so close to me….
I just turned around again….
We were facing in the same direction…..
And I was just walking away…
Tears are flowing down my cheeks….
The tears I held back were starting to flow…
Flowing? Streaming is more like it..
The tears were just streaming down….
****….
They won’t stop..
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“Kyungwon…”
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It was Seungpyo’s voice.
One of Seungpyo’s hands were on my shoulders….
….I couldn’t bear to look at him… I couldn’t look at Seungpyo like this….
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However, Seungpyo gently turned me around towards him….
….my head still bent down, I said quietly….
“Can I just go…? Seungpyo, can I just go….?”
“What the hell, are you crying?”
Seungpyo’s hands went to my face…
……weakly, I looked up at him…..
And Seungpyo was silent….
....
“I told you to go… I just told you to go… Stupid bastard.. Why’d you come, why’d we meet here…?”
“…..is the reason you’re crying right now isn’t because of Lee Jungmin is it?”
…stupid… retard… idiot… the reason I’m crying is because of you…..
.......
Seungpyo’s voice was low and dark…
“…it’s Lee Jungmin.. It’s Lee Jungmin.. I’m right.. It’s Lee Jungmin…”
ㅇ_ㅇ.......ㅇ_ㅇ.........ㅇ_ㅇ.....
For a second Seuncpyo’s two hands were on my shoulders…
....
……ow………..
“….where is he…..?”
"................"
“I asked where he was….”
“….why are you like this….”
"........................"
“….it’s between me and Jungmin.. It’s none of your business… It’s sounds weird that you’re saying that… I’m going to straighten everything out of my own… I’m fine…”
Seungpyo grabbed my right wrist and started pulling me somewhere.
“…..what…? What’s wrong..? What are you doing…?”
“Where does Lee Jungmin live.”
……it seemed as if he was half crazy…..
.............................
…..why’s he acting like this… Why’s he doing this…..
Right then, one of his friends said…..
“Seungpyo! What are you doing? She’s a girl!!!”
<_<what the hell were they thinking….
Wordlessly, Seungpyo continued to drag me in some direction holding his wrist.
“let go!!! Let go!!!!!!!!!!!”
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“Lee Jungmin’s not here!!!! He’s not here!!!!!!!!!”
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“I’m not crying because of Lee Jungmin!!!!”
….however, Seungpyo didn’t stop.
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“…..Kim Seungpyo… it’s because of you…. It’s because of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
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…………………Seungpyo froze in this tracks…
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“…….say that again….”
“…..you heard me…”
“I want to hear it again…”
“I’m crying because of you… Because of you… so let go of me….”
Seungpyo let go weakly…
.......
“…..why would you be crying…. Because of me….?”
“Because I hate it.”
“Hate what.”
“That I met you like this, that’s why I’m crying.”
“….that’s… why you’re crying….”
“…..yeah………….”
“I’m sorry… I didn’t know you hated me that much…. Sorry…. I don’t touch you again…..”
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…………………quietly, Seungpyo walked past me….
.......................
…no, I don’t like this like this…
Lee Kyungwon, even if your selfish…
It’s okay to be selfish…
I’m a b***h.. I’m an evil conniving b***h…
But….
..........
I…. I just want to be selfish… I want everything my way…..
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“Yeah! I’m crying because of you!! I’m crying because I hate seeing you!! Because I just met you! Because I met the person who’s giving me all this pain!!! …because you just saw me like this!!! That’s why I’m crying… I’m crying because I’m embarrassed…. Because we keep getting tied into a knot… I’m crying because I’m say…. That’s why I’m crying……”
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Was if because of the beer I drank…?
I told Seungpyo everything…….
…….I told him everything….
My tears wouldn’t stop.. They kept coming…..
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I was in Seungpyos arms….
Seungpyo had brought me closer to him with me even knowing…..
It’s the first time… It’s the first time Seungpyo’s ever hugged me…
…...
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It feels like a dream…
What if this is a dream….
If it’s a dream, I’ll have to wake up….
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I’m afraid…. I’m afraid to be happy… because it might just be a dream….
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Seungpyo just held me tightly, not saying anything….
He was just hugging me tightly….
….the tears in my eyes were falling onto Seungpyo’s shirt…..
….Seungpyo opened his mouth……
“I waited for you…. Why’d… it take so long….?” He asked in a strained voice…..
Instead of answering, the tears started falling grew bigger….
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……………….we were like that for 30 minutes…
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Seungpyo didn’t lower his hands…
And I didn’t try to move away….
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The only thing that interrupted our embrace was the ringing of Seungpyo’s phone….
Chapter 12
Seungpyo paused for a second.
“..answer it..”
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Seungpyo let go of me and took his phone out his pocket and stared at it…
I can guess who it is….
I know who the person who called is..
It’s obvious who it is because of Seungpyo’s face..
His phone continued to ring…
Deciding what to do, Seungpyo looked up at me, and instead of answering I gave him a smile.
As he received my smile, Seungpyo gave me one of his own and answered the phone.
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“Hello, yeah it’s oppa. Noah, do you want to meet right now? …..I have something to tell you….”
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………….for some reason, I feel guilty to look at Seungpyo….
Because of me….. Another person is going to get hurt…
………….because I felt apologetic to Noah, I started a little distance away from Seungpyo.
As I was starting to walk away, Seungpyo’s warm hand gently grabbed my wrist and he shook his head twice.
What do you want me to do… <_<….
…………..whew……………
“….huh? Yeah, let’s meet. Oppa has something to say to you.”
.......
When I slightly looked up at Seungpyo’s face, I could see he was slightly frowning… (TN: Sorry to be interrupting…. But doesn’t that sound hella sexy? ^0^ )
“Let’s meet, I have to tell you… Then do you want me to tell you over the phone? Over the phone? You want me to do that? …you want me to tell you now?”
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Noah’s avoiding him…
Noah knows what Seungpyo’s about to tell her… She knows…
That’s why Noah’s avoiding Seungpyo right now.
...............
I keep remembering…
4 years ago..
Seungpyo did that too… He told me not to say anything more… You asked my not to say anything…
………
“Well then what do you want me to do? What should I do… huh?”
….Seungpyo’s voice was a tone lower….
To follow this… Seungpyo closed his phone calmly….
“…what did… Noah say…?”
“…she doesn’t want to hear what I have to say…”
“……….what were you going to tell her?”
“The thing you’re thinking about.”
“What am I thinking about right now.”
“The thing I’m thinking about ^_^.”
“Stop twisting everything around <_<.”
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“I’m not twisting anything around… Why… are you going to run away again..?”
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Instead of answering, I just shook my head ‘no’ with tears in my eyes.
Looking down, I just continued to cry, and I could feel Seungpyo wiping them away for me..
“….thanks Kyungwon.”
“….thank? For what?”
“…it feels like a dream. Really, it does. ^_^.”
Me too… It feels like a dream for me too… I hope I never wake up…
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“Let’s go ^_^, Let’s go, I’ll walk you hom ^0^.”
Seungpyo held my hand, and started swinging his arm making my arm swing with his…
….he’s the same he was in high school.. -_-
“I’m fine, do with your friends. My house is close from here.”
“Hey guys! You go ahead!”
Instead of answering, Seungpyo yelled loudly to his friends who were just staring at us stupidly.
“..I said I’m fine, you ahead. >_< I love walking home by myself!”
“I want to love walking to your house also!! >_<!!”
……….. -_-yeah, he’s still a kid….
And…. That’s how the two us was walked…
Both our hands swinging as we walked…
……4 years ago… I never appreciated Seungpyo’s brightness and felt he was too immature… and that’s what might have driven me to go to Jungmin….
I was stupid…..
I was stupid for chasing away the person I love…..
I was stupid for breaking up with him.
But….
But right now, Seungpyo and I are back…
We’re back…. To where we were…
I’ve just realized….
That the person I’ve loved all these years…..
.....
Was Seungpyo….
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The thing they say about time flying when we’re with the people we love….
…is so true…..
It only felt like a few seconds since we’ve started walking…
But we were in front of my house already….
“Want to come in for a while? I’ll get you something to drink…”
“O_O Don’t your parents live at home?”
“I live by myself. ^_^.”
“..oh~ Really? Lucky!”
“..yeah, I like it. ^_^, come in for a sec.”
“…okay, why not. ^-^”
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Seungpyo walked into my house in awe.
…..I’d always thought my house was dull and dark….
But right now, with Seungpyo in here with me…
I probably happier and brighter than any other house…….
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“Do you want coffee?!”
“I want milk!”
“…fine, have milk -_-, I’ll pour it for you, hold on a sec.”
I walked into my kitchen, and grabbed a carton of milk from the fridge. While I was pouring.
Seungpyo was opening cabinets, drawers in my kitchen…
…like a country boy who had come to Seoul for the first time…
“….Kyungwon, do you smoke….???”
ㅇ_ㅇ..............?????
“No, I don’t… why?”
“….there’s an ashtray here…”
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I guess it’s Jungmin….
“Uh, yeah.. You want sugar in your milk?”
“…Lee Jungmin came over a lot… I guess, huh? “
<_<
“…not a lot, just once in a while…”
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Seungpyo didn’t pay attention to what I’d said and hopped onto the sofa.
With the cup of milk, I carefully walked over to Seungpyo…
“Here ^_^.”
“……”
“ <_<what now?”
“……………..starting from now on!”
".....…-_-........."
“I’m the only one allowed into this house!”
“…so you’re saying I can’t invite my friends over?”
“I meant the male species… I’m the only one allowed.”
“…..okay, just you. I won’t let my dad come in either, and I’ll just stray away from my family… <_<.”
“…and your dad…”
“AHK! You’re so cute >_< !! You’re so adorable!!”
With my left hand, I grabbed Seungpyo’s cheek and pinched it tightly.
With one cheek pinched, he said in a tough voice.
“Don’t call me cute any more~ I’m going to be like Eunsung from now on….”
“What did you just say?? O_o..?”
“I’m going to be like Eunsung from now on! Don’t say that! I don’t like hearing that I’m cute! >_< !”
“I dare you to talk like Eunsung… If you do, I’ll beat you!!!!!”
While I was saying that, I twisted Seungpyo’s cheek.
But OMG. He is just too cute. TT_TT
Hmm. If we get married and have a kid. Then I won’t have to worry about being exhausted from the kids. HEHHEHEH ^0^.
“Why are you laughing…?”
“No, I’m just happy ^_^.”
“..hey let go, my cheek hurts… <_<.”
“I told you not to talk like Ji Eunsung!!!”
“..ow~ Ow~ I won’t. >_< I won’t, ow, let go TT_TT …”
“You promised!”
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We just talked for 30 minutes…
I walked Seungpyo out to the gate as he was leaving…..
“See you~~!”
“I’ll call you~”
“….uh okay, but Kyungwon….”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t know your number…”
“..oh right ^_^, give me your phone.”
“Phone?”
“Yeah, give it to me ^_^.”
………..Seungpyo was holding onto his phone….
“..give it to me~”
I snatched the phone and I was going to put my number in the number one slot…
……..but that number was already taken by another number…
…….my house phone number….
….from 4 years ago….
I don’t think Seungpyo knows what I just saw…
…as calmly as I could, I put my number in the very last slot and handed Seungpyo’s phone back to him.
“…call me later~”
“..okay >_< .”
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“Seungpyo…”
“..yeah…?”
“I love you~ >_< !!”
".............."
I turned around to rn into my house before he could say anything.
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AHK !! AHK!!!
I’m so embarrassed!
Seungpyo was staring after me stupidly….
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……………..and I ran up to my room, and turned on my stereo.. Onto my favorite song and smiled like crazy.
Then.. I started crying….
…..for a little over 2 hours……. I would laugh, then cry, then laugh again, and cry again…
……what do I do about Jungmin….
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The thing that brought me out of my crazy trance was a call from Seungpyo…
That day…. No wait, that morning..
We talked until 7.….
About everything, and nothing….
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I guess this is love……
Chapter 13
……….that day….. I didn’t go to school, instead I made up some lame excuse that I was sick….
…that afternoon… Seungpyo came over…
And we talked until 10 that night…
We talking about random things…
We laughed about random things…
Yehwon hasn’t called…..
Jungmin hasn’t either……
Because of no interruptions that day, Seungpyo and I were allowed to catch up on 4 years….
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Next Morning….
I was busy getting ready for school….
I’m going to meet Seungpyo this afternoon….
Seungpyo said he’s going to meet Noah today….
He said he’s going to meet Noah and tell her today….
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…..he said he’s going to tell her everything….
Then what about me…?
Do I have to meet Jungmin today??
Today is the day I was supposed to meet his parents…
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When I go to school…. I’ll have to see Noah….
Truthfully, I’m scared…
I don’t know how I’m supposed to talk to her, how I’m supposed to look at her…
….what I have to say to her….
+THUMP THUMP+ My heart’s beating rapidly….
I don’t know if it’s because of my beating heart…
….but I have to go to the bathroom TT_TT…
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It’s been three days since I came here last….
The stares that the other teachers were giving me weren’t exactly nice either….
….I have a class first period…….
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Luckily… I don’t have to teach Noah’s class today…
What a relief….
…..There’s not reason for Noah and me to see each other today….
With my heart beating a little less rapidly with that thought, I walked into my first period class.
“Good morning, Miss Lee! Long time to see~!! ^0^”
“….^_^….”
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For the first time since I became a student teacher… <_< I taught…..
….damn, it’s not as easy as it looks….
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My free period, I’m going to go to the office and sleep <_<.
No wait, the empty classroom is better.
4 years ago when I used to come here, my homeroom teacher would go find an empty classroom and go to sleep for a period.
I hid my shoes…
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Right then….
Noah, who was walking quietly by, passed me….
….she passed me calmly…
She passed me, who had frozen on the spot….
“….No-….”
No, forget….
It’s funny to be apologizing….
For a second, Noah stopped walking… just for a second…
But without turning around, she continued to get further and further away from me…
…..I walked into the teacher’s office and collapsed at my seat.
I took out my phone and checked to see if I had any missed calls.
…I have three….
First was Seungpyo…. And the rest were Jungmin….
I spotted I had one new message…
“I hope you rot in hell <_<.”
It was obvious who it was….
Han Yehwon, were you THAT mad?? -__-
With heavy footsteps, I looked for an empty class…
I found one and I found something to lay on, tying my hair in a ponytail, I slowly felt sleep envelope me.
I can’t believe that I‘m starting to fall asleep… -_-
Today’s Saturday… Saturday…
Happy Saturday… Saturday….
….I have to go met Jungmin’s parents…..
……but before that…. I have to tell Jungmin…..
Today…would be the best day to tell him…
…but I can’t do that, I’m too scared…
With a bunch of different thoughts in mind, I slowly fell asleep….
….
I could hear my cell phone ringing, and I opened my eyes….
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I waited for the person to hang up….
….put the called didn’t…
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Annoyed that I’d been awakened, I snatched my phone and looked at the caller ID..
It was Jungmin’s number…
…….
“Hello….”
“…you…..”
…….Jungmin’s voice was shaking… I could hear his voice shaking….
“…Jungmin…?”
“Where. Are. You.”
……something’s wrong…. No, Jungmin is scary me….
“..I’m in the first empty classroom on the right of the hallway….”
“Come out.”
“…there’s still 2 hours left….. Why? Is there something wrong?”
“I’m going over there right now.”
“…I have class right now… I’ll meet you at one.”
“I told you before didn’t I? That if I get mad you’ll get hurt too….”
.......
………..Jungmin’s voice was chilly….
……there were no emotions in his voice…
…..his voice was in monotone….
Something’s weird… this is weird…..
“Did… I do something.. To make you mad…?”
Even though I said it, it sounded stupid….
“No. You did something to drive me crazy.”
“……I have something to say to you too. Let’s meet later… Let’s hear the reason I made you crazy later…”
“I’m not going to listen to what YOU have to say.”
+CLICK+
He hung up……
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………..I was wide awake now….
And I was thinking…..
What’s wrong with him…
He… didn’t see…. The other day….
Seungpyo… and me…..
........................ㅇ_ㅇ...................
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It might have worked out for the better….
If he’s seen… then I won’t have to tell him….
But something doesn’t feel right… I’m getting a bad feeling…..
…..something’s making me nervous….
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Chapter 14
…I started dialing Seungpyo’s number….
It rang 4 more times…
…and finally I could hear Seungpyo’s bright voice…
“Hello ^0^ !”
“It’s me Kyungwon… but, Seungpyo….”
“Yeah! What’s up?!”
“…uh, you said you’re going to meet Noah… today, right?”
“Yeah….. But she keeps avoiding me…”
“…okay, I saw Noah today at school….”
“…she came today?”
“Yeah.”
“Then… I’ll go to your school later after class..”
“What…?”
“I said I’m going there later… Noah keeps avoiding me… I might as well go to her instead of have her come to me… If you can, come to the back exit…
………not the front entrance….
Jungmin’s cold chilly voice echoed inside my head…
“No, don’t come today.”
“What…?”
“Don’t come…don’t.”
“…I have to… Noah keeps avoiding my calls… The only thing I can do is confront her at your school.. O_O…”
“No.. just meet her later… at some other place… Not today thought, not today….”
“Is… there something happening…?”
Seungpyo asked worriedly….
I keep imagining Jungmin’s cold face, and Seungpyo’s warm worried face inside my head..
Closing my eyes, I pinched the bridge of my nose….
“No, nothing’s happening… Just, don’t come today, okay? Don’t come today, Seungpyo..”
“What’s the reason you’re keeping back from me…”
Right then, the door to the room opened, and a student walked in…
“..uh, yeah?”
“I… I’m supposed to clean here….”
“What…? What time is it right now?!?!
“…classes just ended.. O_O.”
Oh my gosh, what do I do… TT_TT..
How long have I slept then…..
I have a class I was supposed to teach… TT_TT..
“Hello…? Hello~~?”
“Seungpyo! I’ll call you later!!”
I hung up on Seungpyo, and pushed past the student…
I ran towards the teacher office……
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The teachers inside all ignored me.. TT_TT…
I went over to my desk and grabbed my back….
Clicking my tongue on the roof of my mouth, I started walking down the hallway…
…I have to go to Seungpyo right now…
…if Seungpyo comes…
Jungmin and Seungpyo will meet…..
Hopefully… that won’t happen….
I was quickly nearing the front gate and while digging in my purse for some money so that I could grab a taxi…
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As I was searching inside my bag, I saw something on the ground….
What….the…..
A ripped piece of paper….?
What is this….?
I looked over at it…. It was someone’s head….
…is it a picture…?
Behind the piece with the head, there was another, of an arm….
…wait, this is…..
It’s not…..
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Alarmed, I picked up the pieces, and when I looked up….
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I saw Jungmin, throwing the pieces of the picture onto to the ground….
“…Jung…min…”
This picture…
This picture is of me and Seungpyo at the coffee shop…
I stared dumbly as Jungmin continued to tear the picture and throw it on the ground….
I started sweating…
“Long. Time. No. See.”
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“What the hell is with you…”
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“What the hell….”
Jungmin said coldly…
He continued to stare as I just looked at the ground…
He walked towards me and I looked up at him…
“….let’s not talk about it here, let’s go somewhere else…”
I flinched as Jungmin threw the rest of the torn pieces of the picture into my face…
“Don’t change the subject. The reason I came here, is because I wanted to hear an excuse.”
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Jungmin stared at me as if he were going to eat me…
….if Seungpyo comes……
“Excuse, reason I’ll tell you… Let’s go somewhere else, there are students here still.”
“Why… because Seungpyo’s girlfriend might come out…?”
“…..come on…”
It’s Jungmin who should be mad….
But I could hear my voice coming out chilly and cold….
I turned around and started walking, but….
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..........
...............
I didn’t hear his following after me….
When I turned back to face Jungmin, he was staring at me… Standing still….
“…let’s not talk about it here… You came here to hear something from me didn’t you, let’s go… We’ll talk someplace else…”
.......
But Jungmin just stood there…
I raised my arms and tried pulling Jungmin with me…..
“You think I’m playing around right now? …is that it Lee Kyungwon?”
........
...................
.......................
“I’m not playing around either…”
“Tell me here, tell me an excuse.. Any excuse…”
“….I don’t have one… It’s exactly as you saw it… You know what’s happening… “
...........
.......................
...............................
“You’re telling me, you and that bastard have decided to meet again… right..?”
“……we haven’t started…. We’re meeting each other again…”
“What…about me…”
“……I’m sorry… I was going to tell you today… You can curse me… You can hi-”
…right then, Jungmin’s shaking hand, fiercely struck my cheek.
……I’m glad he did that….
It’s better than he curses me than cries over me…
“You’re going… to throw me away….”
“….I’m just going back to before…”
“Yeah?”
Jungmin’s hand started to shake again, and I closed my eyes…
......
..........
What…? Why didn’t he hit me…?
When I opened my eyes…
….he had his hand raised, and I could see tears falling down his cheeks….
..........
“An excuse… please, I’m begging, just give me any excuse… Just tell me that you guys met by chance, and you just took a picture…. Just make something up….”
........
...............
Chapter 15
“I’m sorry, Jungmin… I’m sorry, I’m really sorry…”
Jungmin and I stood staring at each other…
Looking at each other, out tears fell…
I tried to stop crying as more girls came out of the school…
But I couldn’t…
“Jungmin… Jungmin… I’m sorry, I’m really sorry… I don’t like it either… I don’t like doing this… It hurts…”
Jungmin just stared at me, tears falling silently…
I wanted to say something, but tears continued to fall out of me eyes… Jungmin didn’t say anything and just continued to look down at me.
And… I can see that Jungmin’s eyes are growing larger…
................
As if he’s seen something, Jungmin just numbly stared…
I turned my head and looked where Jungmin was looking.
.............
.................
Seungpyo’s standing there…
I don’t think he’d seen us yet and he was nearing closer to the front gate…
Jungmin started heading over to Seungpyo, he passed me and started walking over to Seungpyo…
“Jungmin… Jungmin….”
.............
No matter how much I shook him and pulled him back, it was no use.
“I’m not going to let you go… I can’t let you go.”
“Jungmin…”
“I can’t…I won’t…”
…muttering this under his breath, Jungmin glared at Seungpyo…
Right then, Noah came out of the front gate.
Why is everything getting twisted? Why is everything getting so complicated.
Seungpyo stepped in front of Noah who was about to pass him.
Seungpyo said something to Noah who was yelling and crying hysterically.
…Jungmin was nearing closer to them…
Now, I can’t do anything… There’s nothing I can do to stop any of this…
There’s nothing I can do…except cry…
Just because of me…three people are going through pain…
Because of me…because of a stupid thing like me…
Noah spotted Jungmin first…
And not bothering to slow down, Jungmin headed straight towards Seungpyo.
Seungpyo spotted Jungmin right then…and then he looked over at where I was standing.
When he spots me crying, his eyes widen in surprise, and then he turned back to look at Jungmin.
………Seungpyo and Jungmin stare at each other…
Seungpyo says something…and Jungmin just stares at him, his mouth in a tight line.
With cold pained eyes, Noah looks over at me and gives me a hateful look.
…I just looked down…
Right then Jungmin stared running towards Seungpyo.
“Seungpyo!!!!”
The name I yelled was Seungpyo’s not Jungmin’s.
“What the hell is all this?! All this is because of you!!!” Noah said yelling at me.
......
Jungmin and Seungpyo were rolling on the ground.
Noah and I tried to pull them apart, but they paid us no heed.
Jungmin’s fist flew towards Seungpyo’s face and Seungpyo’s fist flew towards Jungmin’s.
“Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!! Jungmin!!! Nothing’s going to change! Fighting isn’t going to change anything!!!”
With my loud yell, Jungmin stopped for a second…
I can feel the stares from kids all around us.
…wiping away a trail of blood, Seungpyo asks me…
“….are you okay Kyungwon?”
..........
..................
“Don’t say Kyungwon’s name!!!”
Jungmin says angrily…he’s so scary…
“You’re bothering Kyungwon right now.”
Seungpyo said in a calm and quiet voice.
Jungmin looked up at me and stared with blank eyes.
“…I’m bothering Kyungwon? …it’s you… You’re the one who’s come between me and Kyungwon. It’s because of you Kyungwon’s trying to leave me…”
........
……….Noah started to cry…
.................................
“4 years ago, the one who got in between us.. Is you Lee Jungmin…”
Letting out a ragged sigh, Seungpyo looked at Jungmin.
“…we loved each other back then…”
…
“And so… I let her go… I let her go to you… If you really love her… you’ll let her go too.”
“No. I can’t. I need Kyungwon.”
.......
..................
…..Jungmin stared at me…
“Let’s go, Kyungwon.” He said and grabbed my wrist.
.......
..................
...........
..............
Seungpyo’s hand grabs my other hand.
“Hey stupid, why are you letting him pull you away.”
Jungmin glared at him with cold eyes…
“Do you really want to die.”
Seungpyo smirked back at him, “didn’t you know I fought like mad in high school? I never would have know if I knew I’d end up fighting with you…”
.....
..........
Silence followed after Seungpyo’s words.
....
The three of us just froze…
Right then, we heard the screeching of tires.
…and it screeched to a stop in front of the front gates.
Everyone’s eyes turned to the screeching car.
With wide eyes, Yehwon stepped out of the car.
The tears that I had finally managed to stop, started flowing again once I saw her.
“kyungwon! Why are you crying?!”
She yelled loudly running over to me.
................
………….Jungmin’s hand slowly let go.
….however, Seungpyo’s still held on tightly, and I continued to cry as Yehwon hugged me tightly.
......
“Kyungwon, don’t cry, don’t cry. Why, why are you crying. You stupid girl, why are you crying, I came to b***h at you, but I can’t if you’re crying.”
Yehwon’s voice slowly started to get strained as if she was keeping her tears back too.
................
“Hey, what the hell’s the matter.”
…..a familiar voice, that I’m not very happy to hear <_<
“It’s weird Eunsung, Kyungwon won’t stop crying.”
“Aw fawk, why’s everything so complicated, and why the hell are there so many kids. Hey! HEY! You kiddies, get lost!! GET LOST!”
As Eunsung yelled with an annoyed voice, the girls slowly backed away, afraid.
….I guess there’s a use for you…
The only ones left was…Seungpyo, me, Jungmin, Noah, Yehwon and Ji Eunsung.
Yehwon comfortingly pat my back lightly.
Noah was just crying, kneeling on the ground.
Jungmin had his head bowed and out of his closed eyes, I saw a couple of tears falling.
And…
“…what the fawk, Kim Seungpyo… What the hell is wrong with your face.”
“…it’s nothing, it’s just…”
“Did you get hit?!”
Eunsung’s already loud voice yelled louder.
“No, it’s nothing. What’s the matter with you all of a sudden.”
“Hey, don’t turn the damn convo. Who is it? Who’s the bastard who did this…?! Is it this b***h?!”
.......
.......
“Be quiet, Eunsung we’re at school… Hey, let’s not stay here. Let’s go somewhere…If the teachers see, they won’t like it too much, it’s bad for Kyungwon.” Yehwon said carefully.
................................
Eunsung neared Jungmin with an eyebrow scrunched near the front.
“You tell me you fawking Yankee. What’s wrong with Seungpyo.”
Wordlessly, Jungmin started laughing…
“HAHAHA, what a close friendship you guys have. Really. How nice… HAHA!”
“Hey, is he drunk?” Ji Eunsung asked turning to me.
“Like Yehwon said, let’s not stay here.”
Seungpyo said, still holding onto my wrist he started dragging me into Eunsung’s car.
............
.....................
Angry, Eunsung got into his car and Yehwon stared worriedly at Noah and Jungmin..
“HEY! BEARHEAD!! Get in the fawking car!!!”
Ji Eunsung yelled shoving his head out the window…
“…Jungmin, Noah, let’s go ^0^.”
….oh right, Yehwon doesn’t no anything…
…she doesn’t know anything about Jungmin…me…Noah…and Seungpyo…
.....
..........
Jungmin threw Yehwon’s hands off his arm.
Confused, Yehwon walked over to Noah, however Noah ignored her also..
........
...........
Pouting, Yehwon got into Ji Eunsung’s car.
Chapter 16
Eunsung’s car slowly started off…
.............
We passed Jungmin…and Noah….
She was crying hysterically, tears just pouring down her face.
Jungmin was staring at me with cold eyes…
Lee Kyungwon…are you happy now? …I hate myself, more that I did before…
Leaning on Seungpyo, I just wordlessly started to cry…
He comfortingly put one of his long arms around my shoulders.
…and I just continued to cry, leaning on Seungpyo…
“Only today, okay? …don’t cry tomorrow, only today.”
Instead of answering, I just nodded my head.
“Hey, Kim Seungpyo, who was it? Tell me, if you don’t…there’s a high chance I’ll drive into a pole…”
Ji Eunsung said in a cold voice.
“I wasn’t the only one who got hit, I hit them back…”
“How many times did you get hit…”
“Once…”
“Then how many times did YOU hit them.”
“Ten times ^0^.”
“You swear on all your friends.”
“Yeah~~ ^_^”
It was then Eunsung’s voice defrosted, and his eyebrow un-scrunched.
Even the speed of the car slowed.
I want to count the number of brain cells in that head. I really, I really do. I wonder how many thousands- no I mean, hundreds are in that head… It even might now be in the hundreds… <_<
Right then, my cell phone started ringing….
My cell phone…and Seungpyo’s cell phone…
Seungpyo smiled lightly towards me and handed his phone to me, and then he took the phone in my hand and took it…
............
..................
“Hello.”
“Hello.”
We answered our phones at the same time…
….it was Noah.
For a second, I could hear her crying, and she hung up soon after.
Seungpyo was silent when I looked over at him.
Over the phone, I could hear Jungmin’s loud yelling.
…I slowly took the phone from Seungpyo.
“…Lee Jungmin…stop it…you’re so scary… I hate myself… I know I haven’t don anything good…but you’re so scary right now…”
“Kyungwon, what do I have to do… No, don’t do this… What should I do… Do you want me to wait? Huh? …if I wait, will you come? Okay.. Okay, I’ll do that.. I’ll wait… I’ll wait for you, okay…? You have to be quick, okay…? It’s not going to take too long…is it?”
......
………..Jungmin’s voice sounded half hysterical…
................
“Jung…min, stop it… I’m begging you… just stop it…Even if I do go back to you…there’s no way I can like you again, there’s no way I can love you again… it’s too late… Jungmin, please… just please…”
“Oh…then it’ll take a little time…? Okay…okay… then…take as long…as you need… Just- You have to come back thought, okay? 1 year….? 2 years…., or longer…?”
.........
..............
..................
Jungming was smiling… I could tell…
Through his tears…he was smiling…
I can feel goosebumps on my arms…
…slowly, I closed my phone and started shaking in Seungpyo’s embrace…
......
………I guess Yehwon realized something then…
.........
“…are you guys…. You guys are what I think you are…right?”
“…sorry I didn’t tell you sooner Yehwon…”
Seungpyo said quietly, and Yehwon slowly nodded her head…
........
Seungpyo put his hand on my head and the three of us were silent…
“Hey…I want to know too…”
Stupid Eunsung was the one who broke the silence…
But we just remained quiet…
.........
The place the car stopped was….
A bar…
I wanted to go home…but I knew Yehwon wanted to talk to me…
I can’t say no to want Yehwon wanted also…
The four of us entered the bar with heavy footsteps…
Eunsung…and Seungpyo…
And…Yehwon and me…
For a second, we broke off into pairs…
..........
............
…..when the beer arrived, Yehwon grabbed a bottle and started drinking, not bothering to pour it in a cup.
Eunsung slowly seemed to be understanding what was going on…finally..
“…I’m sorry…Yehwon, I was going to tell you…”
“…tell me from the beginning… don’t leave anything out… tell me everything…”
......
...........
...............
An hour passed, then two…
I told Yehwon everything, when I’d finished, Yehwon had finished 9 bottles and her tongue was starting to slur when talking.
Luckily, Eunsung had his back to he and didn’t see her half drunk.. If he had… <_<I don’t want to think about it….
“…*hiccup*…that’s what…happened….huh?”
“…I’m sorry Yehwon, I- I was scared of myself… Really, I was scared…”
“….Jungming…my Jungmin… What do I do… poor Jungmin…WAAHHH WAHHH!!”
….oh right….I’d forgotten Yehwon and Jungmin were friends since they were seven…
Chapter 17
Sitting in the table in front of us… Seungpyo jumped up from his seat and knocked a whole tray of fruit on the floor.
“Hey, hey pick it up, pick it up~~ If you love me pick it up >_< !!!”
He said in a slurred voice, and to follow…
“I told you to stray the peanuts if you were going to spray them at all didn’t I?”
Eunsung asked in a scary and quiet voice.
Yehwon stared at me with drunk eyes…
“…Jungmin… TT_TT… you know Jungmin…”
She said starting to cry…
…she paused a moment to calm down the shaking…
“You know Jungmin… In America… he started doing bad stuff in middle school, he did drugs and b~~~~~ad stuff…”
What…the hell is this…
Seungpyo stared at us for a second…
“It wasn’t often… But for a lot time he was depressed too…”
Seungpyo looked at me with a worried when he saw me with a blank expresion on my face…
“…then he got brighter and happier… Especially when he was around you. But earlier… at school… I felt as if I was seeing him back then… Even I was scared…”
“…why’d he do that kind of stuff…?”
“Problem with his parents, wrong crowd. Jungmin was really dark and scary back then, like he was earlier… If he goes back to the way he was, then I- WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Yehwon buried her face into the table and started bawling.
Hearing Yehwon cry, Eunsung turned around to face us and got up from his seat.
“…what’s wrong…hey, hey Han Yehwon.”
Then, he slowly turned his head towards me and said in a scary voice, “you made her cry, didn’t you… <_<.”
With that, he sat in front of her and started comforting her awkwardly.
“Why are you crying…hey, don’t cry…aw fawk, this is going to drive me crazy. Hey, why are you crying, did that girl over there make you cry?”
Yehwon shook her head, continuing to cry.
“…are you crying because I yelled at you?? Is it because I yelled at you that time you went to the night club… huh? Is that it?”
......
………..Yehwon shook her head again.
“Then, is it because I broke the TV antennae?? Is that why you’re crying?”
At this, I let out a little laugh.
Eunsung turned to me and stared, then he opened his mouth.
“I heard about you guys. Go over to Seungpyo.”
".............................."
“..hurry, get over to him.”
"........................."
“Get the hell over there… <_<.”
"................"
He sounded as if he wanted to be alone with Yehwon, and so I got up and walked over to Seungpyo was who drinking and I weakly smiled.
“Are you drunk…?”
“NOPE!! >_<!!
“I think you are…”
“Sit ^0^!! Sit, hurry sit ^0^!!”
Seungpyo forced me down next to him.
“Watch, this time I’m going to spray peanuts!! Watch, okay?”
“…..Seungpyo…..”
“Yeah?”
“…have you called Noah…?”
....
…….slowly his smile faded, and he looked down.
“You haven’t have you…”
“…..not yet.”
“You have to call her…you have to tell her that we’re together… If we take any longer then both of them are going to go through more pain.”
“…I’m going to…I will…”
“…I’ll tell him too… I’ll tell him that we’re together now, okay….? So that we can be together happily…”
Seungpyo nodded.
“I’ll be back, just stay here okay? Or stay with Eunsung and Yehwon, I’ll call you…”
“No.”
.....
......
“…I’ll be right back, it’ll take just a short while.”
“Where are you going….”
“I’m going to go talk with Jungmin… Clear things out.”
After hearing what Yehwon told me…
I feel as if I have to apologize and at least TRY to break up on a good note.
I want to tell him I’m sorry… Maybe I’ll beg him to forgive me and let me go…
…I’ll ask him to forget me and meet someone else…
I WANT to beg to him to forgive me like this…
.........
...........
Seungpyo looked up at me with sad eyes…
“Then let’s go together…”
“…stupid, we can’t… I’ll be right back, I’m just going to talk to him for the last time…”
“Let’s go together, I want to go too…”
Seungpyo got his jacket on.
“Stay here. Seungpyo, what’s wrong with you. If you go, things will get more complicated. I’ll just figure everything out by myself quietly, okay…?”
“…then call him. You can do that.”
“I can’t do that… I’d feel more guilty than I already feel. I want to tell him I’m sorry face to face… I’ll break up with him officially, you do that with Noah too, please…?”
Seungpyo didn’t say something and he looked as if he were trying to keep something back.
...
“Seungpyo, I’ll be right back.”
........
When I slowly got up, Seungpyo opened his mouth…
“You’re not going to come back…”
“….of course I am.”
“Why don’t you… why don’t you… think about the 4 years I waited for you… He’s only been sad for a day…why can’t you just let him be sad for a day…? …how come you think about him going through pain, but you didn’t think about me and my pain for four years…”
“….I’m going to be with you from now, aren’t I? Just one day, Seungpyo. Okay…?”
“…that’s what you said to me then also…”
".........."
“You avoided me… You didn’t tell me anything, I thought I was going to go crazy when you did that. I wanted to hear why, why you were avoiding me… You didn’t even give me a chance to hold you back…. I didn’t even have a chance to make you stay with me… Then you told me you wanted to break up… 4 years was a long time, Lee Kyungwon… it wasn’t a short time…”
....
……I wanted to say something…
I wanted to tell him it was harder for me wanting to tell him that I loved him than those four years he waited for me…
………but I couldn’t…. because I didn’t want to make it sound like some kind of excuse…
I stared at him numbly…
“Back then… I was young… I was stupid… I’m sorry, just one hour… I’ll just talk to him for one hour… I’ll straighten everything out in one hour and come back to you smiling. Then we’ll really be happy, okay?”
"..........."
“You’ll wait for me right…? Just one hour, just wait one hour….”
"......................."
“..^_^, my pretty baby, just keep eating for one hour, it’ll be quick. You have to wait!”
I gave him a peck on the cheek, and left the bar.
And as I came out, the tears I kept back started to fall.
When I thought about all the pain I brought him those four years… I feel like I’ve committed some kind of crime…
Seungpyo… Seungpyo… just one hour…
Just wait one hour…
Then I’ll be with your forever…
I’ll make up for all the pain I brought you…
I’ll make sure you don’t cry because of me ever again…
..
Inside the bar, Seungpyo got up shakily and walked over to Eunsung and Yehwon…
“You guys know the story about the little mermaid? The mermaid saved the prince, but he doesn’t know that… So the prince married another princess from a far away country… The mermaid was sad, but happy at the same time because she was able to be with the prince in his castle… But do you know what happened in the end for the mermaid…?”
Yehwon just continued to cry and Eunsung looked up at his friend and said sincerely.
“Didn’t she eat an apple and die…???”
............
..............
.................
“………..no, she became a bubble and died…”
............
Seungpyo said, a tear falling on the table…
Chapter 18
Back with Kyungwon…
…I’m in front of Jungmin’s house right now…
My heart’s beating like mad right now…
….just one hour… only one hour…
I’m going to keep my promise with Seungpyo…
Gathering my courage, I pushed the bell…
…Jungmin lives with his nuna…
.........
.........
….I pushed it again…
“Jungmin…. Lee Jun-”
Right then!
Jungmin opened the door and for the first time, I saw him drunk… His eyes were scary…and I could smell the alcohol on his clothes…
“…you…you…..”
“…did you drink- ahk!”
Before I could finish, Jungmin’s hand pulled me in, and he closed the door.
From the front door, I can see at least 10 empty bottles…
.....
“…I came to tell you… To make it official… It’ll be better for you…”
“…official…? Make what official….”
He asked… his voice shaking… He seemed really, really drunk…
“…I’m sorry Jungmin… I know it’ll be hard… but can’t you just give me up…?”
“No.”
Jungmin said in a cold voice.
Taking my hand, he seated me on the floor next to him and he put his face close to mine, crying…
...................
……..and an hour passed….
..
“…Jungmin… Lee Jungmin…can’t you just listen to me…”
Jungmin didn’t respond and just cried, not letting go of my hand…
“…I’ll tell you straight forward. 4 years ago, my heart was with Seungpyo… I wanted to stop, I just wanted to keep it from you… I wanted to forget Seungpyo, but… I guess love doesn’t let you forget…. Jungmin… Seungpyo went through four years of pain because of me… We love each other so much… Can’t you just send me to him… Just let me go to him, please?? I’ll beg you, Jungmin, I’ll beg…”
Jungming looked up at me…
“I won’t ask you to love me… I won’t ask you to like me… It’s okay if you like Kim Seungpyo… just be next to me…! Can’t you just be next to me, where I can see you… If I can’t see you… I’ll go crazy… I’ll die… I’ll die if I don’t see you…”
Jungmin held onto my hand even tighter…
…I shouldn’t be allowed to live…
…how can I think about Seungpyo when I’m bringing Jungmin so much pain…
.......
“…Jungmin, we’re…not kids anymore… It won’t happen just because you want it to… Just stop.. Please…? I begging you…Jungmin…”
“No. No. No, you can’t go. I’m not going to let you. I love you too much… Haha, no.. you can’t go…”
Right then, my cell phone started to ring…
…it’s Seungpyo…
I reached my hand into my pocket, to take my phone out, but as soon as I took it out, Jungmin snatched it from my hand and took out the battery…
“Jungmin… what’d wrong with you… why are you doing this..”
“Let’s just forget about all of this.. I’ll let it pass… We can go back to before, it’s okay!!”
Jungmin started laughing and then it turned back into sobs…
….I kept thinking up Seungpyo’s sad face waiting for me…
.........
….I shook Jungmin’s hand off with all my might and stood up.
“I’m going.. Jungmin, I’m going… It’s too late for me to come back to you… I love Seungpyo too much…!”
As I was quickly heading towards the door, Jungmin made me stop in my tracks…
“If you go… I’ll die…”
......
..............
............
“…what…?”
“I’ll die… if you go, Lee Jungmin will die…”
“…no you won’t… you’re just saying that…”
“Are you testing me…? Do you really want to see…? Do you want to see how much I love you…?”
“You’re crazy… You’re not in your right mind… You’re weird, Lee Jungmin, you’re acting crazy right now…”
….Jungmin grinned….
From his eyes, tears are continuing to fall, but his mouth continues to go upward in a smile…
“NO!!!!!!!!!!”
I yelled and ran towards Jungmin as he extracted a small knife his pocket and start slitting his wrist….
.................
...........................
No…….no………..no………
....
..........
................
......................
...........................
......................................
+Hospital+
“…it’s not serious…luckily, you got him here just him time for it not too be of too much danger. He’ll be up in a little while… He needs a lot or rest…”
The doctor said in a low voice…
He gave one glance to Jungmin and left the room quietly….
........
......................
.........................
My face was covered with tears and sweat…
I collapsed onto the floor and started wailing…
….if this was a dream… I wish this was a dream….
Chapter 19
I slowly fell asleep…
I guess I was exhausted from crying…
I could hear someone running quickly towards this hospital room and I woke up. The door opened and there stood Jungeun unnie…
“Jungmin!”
Jungeun unnie ran to her brother and was crying while touching her brother’s pale face.
….then she turned to me and said…
“Kyungwon, is it true Jungmin…that he tried to commit…”
“…yeah…”
“You know the reason right.”
“Yeah…”
“Can you tell me…?”
.......
Unnie just stared at me, her face blank… For a second she looked over at Jungmin’s face then mine and then walked closer to me and hugged me…
“It must have been hard, Kyungwon, unnie didn’t know anything… I’m his nuna, but I didn’t know… Poor Kyungwon, it must have been hard, I’m so hard. It’s okay since I know okay? You were scared weren’t you…this is the first time he’s tried anything…”
Jungeun pat my back comfortingly…
My tears were dampening her shoulder…unnie, I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry…
I’m really…I’m really sorry…
“Right, Kyungwon, you must be hungry… You haven’t eaten anything in a while have you, do you want anything?”
“..I’m not really hungry…”
“You have to eat. You look half dead from all the crying! Do you want rice? Hamburgers? Pizza?”
“Unnie…I‘m fine…”
“Okay! Pizza ^_^.”
Jungeun unnie forced a smile on her face, and left the room… Through her tears, I could see tears… She was trying to be happy in front of me so that I’d be stronger. Lee Kyungwon, what is this… because of you…Jungmin, Yehwon, Jungeun unnie and…
……..Seungpyo……
Seungpyo!!!!!
I’d forgotten about him!
I started to run towards the door to find a pay phone….
….
…..
“…Kyung….”
“Jungmin!”
I turned around towards Jungmin who was calling my name…his face was so pale…
“Are you okay? Can you open your eyes?”
“..Kyung…won….”
“Yeah, you idiot, what were you going to do… Stupid…”
“I told you…I’ll die without you…”
“…Jungmin…I-”
“…I don’t want to hear…”
“…Jungmin…..”
“I’m going to sleep…it hurts…I’m going to sleep…”
“……okay, get rested then…”
I got up to find a phone when Jungmin’s weak voice stopped me again…
“Don’t go, stay next to me…”
“..you said you were going to sleep…”
“…stay with me…”
Jungmin pulled me closer to him….
……………
……..Seungpyo……..
I don’t know if Jungmin saw the tears trailing down my face, but he just smiled and closed his eyes…
His hands are so cold…
…Seungpyo’s are so warm…
Seungpyo will be waiting for me…
….it’s 4: 30 in the morning…
Seungpyo was only supposed to wait an hour….but it’s been over 6 already… He’ll be waiting for me… If it’s the Seungpyo I know…he’ll be waiting for me…
…when Jungmin fell asleep, I slowly took his hand away and opened the room…
I saw unnie with a box of pizza in one hand, she grinned widely at me…
…I can tell she cried a lot outside, her eyes are red…
“Let’s eat ^0^.”
“…. ^_^…..”
The two of us finished the small pizza and…it was already 5...
..
“+Burp+ Man, I’m full. Are you, Kyungwon?”
“ ^_^.”
“You can go know, unnie will look after him. You look tired, oh right! You have to get to school to teach! You’ll be late, hurry, go!”
Unnie pulled me up and shoved me out the door…
“Don’t send her away!”
Jungmin’s yell echoed inside the room.
“…are you okay?”
Jungeun unnie asked nearing Jungmin…
“Don’t send her away!! Don’t let her go! Kyungwon, don’t go!!!”
I let go of the doorknob and stood numbly in that room…
“You stupid retard! What were you thinking?! Huh? What were you thinking? Are you okay?”
“I’m okay, nuna…I’m fine, don’t send Kyungwon away…”
“…Kyungwon’s tired too… It’s been a few hours, Kyungwon has to sleep too…”
“…Kyungwon….don’t go…”
“…stop it!! I know that it’ll hurt you, but think about her! Kyungwon…it’s okay to go…”
“…Jungmin, I’m going…”
“Kyungwon!!!”
“Lee Jungmin, stop it!!!”
I could hear Jungeun unnie yell loudly at her brother as I stepped out of the room.
…I sped out of that place as fast as I could…
I looked around crazily around the hospital for a pay phone….
There’s one…
...........
.................
.......................
Seungpyo…just wait…
Chapter 20
RING………….RING………………Ring…………….
“The number you have reached-”
…it’s been a few tries, but Seungpyo hasn’t answered… I tried caling Yehwon too.., but she didn’t answer either… Seungpyo’s probably really mad….right..?
I ran like crazy to the bar that Seungpyo and the four of us were at last night…
..........
When I arrived, panting, I looked around, but no one was there…
I wanted to go over to Yehwon’s house, but they live to far away… there aren’t any taxi’s at this time…
…I don’t know where Seungpyo lives…
My phone’s at Jungmin’s house…
…is there really no way I can contact Seungpyo…
..............
I don’t know how I didn’t it…but I reached my house around 7...
As soon as I collapsed on my bed I fell asleep…
When my eyes opened it was 3.
I shot out of bed and I dialed Seungpyo’s number with my home phone…
….for a long time, it kept ringing…
............
........
.............
Finally… I could hear Seungpyo’s low cold voice answer the phone….
“Hello…”
…..as soon as he answered, I felt my throat tighten up…I couldn’t talk…
“Hello?” Seungpyo voice became a tone higher and he asked quickly.
“Seung….”
As I was about to call him name, my front gate opened and Jungeun unnie barged in, tears on her face and her hair bustled…
“Kyungwon!! Jungmin…go to Jungmin’s room.. Please…”
“…unnie...what’s wrong…?”
“…Jungmin, he Jungmin…he tore all the needles out of his arms, yelling that he was going to bring you back. That he was going to find you… Jungmin’s acting weird… They’re keeping him back, the doctors and nurses were barely keeping him back… what’s wrong with my brother….”
“…unnie, I’ll tell you in a little while…”
“Oh, you were on the phone… I’m sorry, I’ll wait outside.”
“You don’t have to, just stay here.”
“No, it’s uncomfortable for me. Take your time ^_^…”
Jungeun unnie left my house weakly, her backside looks so exhausted…
“…Lee Jungmin…again…?” Seungpyo asked quietly over the phone…
“Seungpyo, I’m so sorry!! I really couldn’t go, I was going to.. I wanted to.. But I couldn’t… you waited a long time didn’t you… I’m so sorry…”
“Are you going…?”
“….huh?”
“Are you going to meet Lee Jungmin…again?”
“…Jungeun unnie’s asking me to…what do I do…”
“You said yesterday was your last…”
“….later, we’ll meet later, Seungpyo… where’s your house…”
“Come over right now…”
“…Seungpyo…”
“….come over tight now, I have to see you right now…”
“…I can’t right now, you know that too… I think of Jungeun unnie as an older sister…”
“If you’re not going to come…don’t bother coming at all…don’t go to see Lee Jungmin, come right now…”
“…later…later, and I’ll tell you everything then…the reason I made you wait…I’ll tell you later…”
“It’s hard for me to wait for you… It’s exhausting waiting for you, Lee Kyungwon…It’s hard loving you…”
“…right now, it’s just… I want to see you too. You’re the person I want to see the most right now… But I can’t Seungpyo, I’ll go later…”
“…now…”
......
“Okay…I’ll go…where are you…”
...
.........
………I hung up the phone and walked towards Jungeun unnie…
“Unnie, I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry but…”
Unnie turned around and smiled at me…it looks as if she’s been crying this whole time…
“..yeah…?”
“I have to go somewhere really quick, is it okay if I meet you at the hospital…?”
For a second a flash of disappointment flashed in Jungeun unnie’s eyes.”
“I’m so sorry, it’s just really urgent…”
“ ^_^, that’s fine, you’re going to come though…right…?”
“Of course ^_^.”
..........
We finished our conversation and left for the bus stop together…. We had to go in different directions…. Unnie waved at me from across the street…
….she’s such a good person…what would I do without her…
How do I tell her…how do I tell her everything….
……….
My bus arrived and I bowed at Jungeun unnie and got on the bus…
I can see Seungpyo…
The thing I want to do when I see him is hug him tightly, and cry…and then he’ll comfort me and everything will be okay…
With my heart beating heavily, I got onto the bus and found a seat…
…the thing that made my heart drop…
..........
Was Jungmin, staring coldly at me outside the bus…..
..........
Chapter 21
…inside the empty bus…not counting the driver were 3 people…
One of them…was Jungmin staring quietly at me…
I felt my fingers, then my hand, then my whole body start to shake uncontrollably…
When did I start fearing him…?
.......
A cold silence filled the bus and 20 minutes, I was nearing the neighborhood that Seungpyo said he lived in. I should have got up, but I couldn’t due to my shaking legs.
Taking a deep breath, I stood up, and stood by the front door to get out.
The door opened and I sped out of the bus….
….like I’d predicted…
............
....................
.........................
…….Jungmin got out the back door.
He slowly started walking towards me…
I wanted it to be a dream, I wanted it so bad to be a dream…
But Jungming opened his mouth…
“…where are you going…?”
“…you’re crazy.”
“Yeah, I am. I’m crazy about you…”
“You’re scary… Jungmin, I’m serious, you’re so scary…”
“…I love you…”
“…stop it.”
“I love you… I love you enough to not care what happens to me… I love you.”
“I love Seungpyo.”
“I don’t care. Just stay with me.”
“…stop trying to get something that you can’t. I love Seungpyo, I want to be with Seungpyo. Not you, I don’t want to be with you.”
“If I can’t have you, I’ll die. He won’t, I will…”
“But I’LL die if I can’t be with him.”
“Yeah…? Then we’ll die together, let’s go do that.”
“No, if I die I’m going to die with Seungpyo, not you.”
My guilt towards Jungmin had turned into something else…what was it…?
“If I don’t die, then I need to be with you…”
“….what…what do I have to do…Jungmin…what do I have to do for you to let me go…”
I asked Jungmin, no wait, I begged Jungmin.
I begged him, anger covering up my voice.
For a long time Jungmin stared at me silently…
I looked away for a second and when I’d turned back to him, he had a small smile on his face.
“Farewell kiss…”
“….what…?”
“Farewell kiss… A last kiss… After that…it’s bye…”
“…then you’re going to let me go to Seungpyo?”
“I keep my word, you know that.”
.....
............
..............
For Seungpyo… for me…s
….I’ll just close me eyes, it’s just one kiss…
Just one little kiss and I’ll be able to go to Seungpyo…
I can go to Seungpyo who’s waiting for me…
It’s weird that he’s saying he’ll let me go with a kiss, but when I thought of Seungpyo…
…I neared him, and I lightly kissed him lips…
..........
Jungming pulled me to him tightly.
“…stop.”
I pushed Jungmin away and when I saw the smile on Jungmin’s face I turned around with a heavy heart.
.............
Frozen to his spot, was Seungpyo just staring at the two of us dumbly…
“Lee Jungmin…I’ll never forgive you…”
I spat at Jungmin and started to run towards Seungpyo.
Seungpyo turned around and silently started walking slowly.
“SEUNGPYO!”
I called to him loudly, but Seungpyo didn’t turn around…
I touched his shoulder trying to stop him, but he didn’t turn around…
Deciding the only thing I could do was stand in front of him, I ran in front and blocked his way.
“No! It’s not what you think! Listen to what I have to say!!!”
"..................."
Seungpyo’s eyes stared at mine, and he slowly opened his mouth…
“I don’t want to. I don’t want to see you. I don’t even want to think about you. I’m not even going to wait for you this time….”
He said coldly, and Seungpyo started to walk.
“It was my last!!! He said that he’d let me come to you!!! That’s why I did it!!! I wanted to be with you!!! That’s why… I’m not lying…it’s the truth…”
Seungpyo continued to walk and said, not looking at you…
“Last…? You say that word a lot… I’ll say it this time. This is MY last… hope you have a good life……..”
........
......
The strength in my legs gave out and before I could call his name, I collapsed….
.............
.....................
As darkness surrounded me…I closed my eyes….
Final Chapter…
When I opened my eyes, I saw Jungmin sitting next to the bed with a cigarette in his mouth.
“…get out.”
“Nah, I don’t think I will…”
“Get out. If you don’t I’ll die…”
Exhaling a puff of smoke, he smiled…
“Then I’ll die with you ^_^.”
“…get out, please…I don’t want to see your face… If I could I’d kill you… But I can’t, and I hate myself for it…if I could, I swear to God I would… get….out…”
“Want food? You must be hungry, it was hard for me too. Bringing you home.”
“GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST GET OUT PLEASE!!!! JUST DISAPPEAR!!!!! …get ….out…”
For a long while, Jungmin stared at me, then smiled.
“I just repaid you, I only did what you did to me. We’re even now.”
..........
..................
......................
“You didn’t do anything to me…you did it to Seungpyo…”
Right then…
With a ‘thump’ something fell to the ground. When I turned around behind me I saw Jungeun unnie staring at us, her bag on the floor…
“What did I just hear…? Kyungwon, what did you just say…?”
“Oh, nuna you’re here ^_^. You found me, took you long enough. ^_^.”
“Lee Jungmin, you tell me… What were you two talking about…”
I started crying and Jungmin opened his mouth and said in an inhumanly calm voice…
“Nuna, you know Seungpyo? Kyungwon went to Seungpyo, she doesn’t like me anymore. So I blocked her. I kept her back. Nuna, you know that if it’s not her, that I can’t live… I kissed Kyungwon in front of that Seungpyo bastard. Now, they’re broken up. Nuna, I begged Kyungwon, I cried in front of her not to let me go…But Kyungwon wanted to leave me, isn’t she bad…? ^_^… She didn’t care about me at all, she only wanted Seunpyo… But I stopped her… ^_^…”
Silently…numbed… Jungeun unnie stared at me, then slowly at her brother….
Her hands were shaking… Her lip was trembling… She slowly walked closer to us… With a mask of anger and coldness I’d never seen she was looking at me…
I closed my eyes…
+SMACK!!!+
..............................................
..........
…………she swung her hand….
..........
................
.....................
And it made contact with Jungmin’s cheek…
Jungmin silently glared up at his sister…
.............
..........
“You know what you just did, Lee Jungmin…?”
“You know what happened to me, nuna? What are you to hit me…”
“I’m your nuna… That’s why I hit you, come out….”
Jungeun unnie grabbed Jungmin’s hand, but he didn’t budge.
“Why should I? Nuna, you can go out yourself. Why would I go out…?”
“Lee Jungmin stop it. You know what you are right now? You’re pathetic, I don’t think I can even look at you.”
“Then don’t, I never asked you to. Close your eyes and get out. I have things to say to Kyungwon…”
“What happened to you….? Huh…? When did you become like this… What’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with you, huh? Jungmin, why are you doing this…”
Jungeun unnie asked holding Jungmin’s hand and trying hard to keep her tears back.
........
“It’s because I love her. I don’t need to hear what you’re going to say. Get out.”
“You don’t love Kyungwon. If you love her you should let her go. If you love her that much, it doesn’t matter what happens to you, you always put her first. …right now, you’re not.”
Jungmin stared down at the ground….
“Nuna, get out… I’ll do everything on my own, nuna, get out.”
“…I told you to stop….didn’t I?”
Jungeun unnie’s voice darkened…
“I can’t.”
“There’s been exactly once in my life I’ve been pissed off, as I am right now. That was in my 3rd year of high school because of some Bi+ch named Suh Inah. And now you…”
Jungmin was silent…
I looked at him with my swollen eyes…
Jungeun unnie neared him and let go of his hand…
“Mom and dad are going to get here in a few hours. I’m going to tell them that you need to go back to America. I don’t want to see you after today. I’m going to make sure I get what I want.”
Jungeun unnie said coldly and left the house. Jungmin looked down at the floor…
“Everyone….hates me…they’ve thrown me away…”
Jungmin looked over at me and then quickly left the house.
.........
................
...............
“Ha..Haha…hahah…hahhhaaha….”
When cried turn to laughter it’s because of two reasons…
One: when sadness turns to happiness.
Two: when sadness and loneliness combine…
I laughed like a crazy person….
............
......................
.............................
The only thing I can think about…is…only Kim Seungpyo…
+Three months later+
I’d gone to Seungpyo’s house many times, I’d pressed his number at least 10.. No at least a 100 times a day…
Seungpyo always answered the same way…
Who is this…..
.......
Yehwon only knows that Seungpyo and I broke up…and that Jungmin moved back to America…
She doesn’t know about Jungming trying to commit suicide…
She only knows that I didn’t come back to Seungpyo…she thinks I’m the one who threw him away….
Yehwon thinks that I betrayed Seungpyo again and went to Jungmin… I didn’t bother trying to explain to her…
..........
Eunsung hated me…
Like before, Yehwon grew away…
...........................................................
Only Jungeun unnie was there for me…
“Kyungwon, are you done packing…?”
“Yeah ^_^.”
“You finishd by yourself?! I told you I’d help you!”
“I didn’t have much…”
“What time’s the flight tomorrow?”
“You don’t have to see me off you know.”
“You say that one more time and I’ll hit you…got that?”
".........."
“You think you’ll do good over there?”
“Of course, I’m Lee Kyungwon.”
“…where’s Yehwon?”
“Here dad came home early today… ^_^…”
Jungeun unnie doesn’t know… she doesn’t know that Yehwon, Eunsung and Seungpyo are avoiding me…
She doesn’t know at all…
She thinks that I told them everything…
She thinks that Seungpyo understands…
…and I told her that I’m meeting Seungpyo…
…I told her that Yehwon and I hang out everyday…
........................
I didn’t want her to worry about me anymore…
So I hid everything from her…
I don’t want unnie to be sad for me anymore…
I’m going to do everything on my own…
Right now, unnie is the only one I have…but I’m still happy…
….I think…I’m happy…
“Kyungwon, are you meting Seungpyo today, also?”
“Huh? Why?”
“Before you do, want to go for a drink? Oh right, it’s your last night so you’ll obviously see Seungpyo, huh? Before you guys meet, unnie and you will drink for just an hour. Alright! ^0^!!”
“Let’s go ^0^ .”
“Huh?”
“I can just meet Seungpyo later at night!! Let’s go! Unnie, hurry, let’s go!”
“Really?”
“Of course!! ^0^ !!”
I linked arms with Jungeun unnie and for the first time in 3 months, I came out to the city…
“Wow, I haven’t been out in forever! Bet you come walk on these sidewalks everyday!”
“How’d you know?”
“What else is there to do with your boyfriend?”
“Sidewalks?! I know everything in the alleys too!!!”
“Good for you ^_^.”
.......
..............
......................
Unnie walked into a bar.
She always smiles….but sometimes…there’s a shadow that cover is her face…
Unnie has a stronger tolerance for alcohol than Yehwon…
We’d started off with one bottle, but all of a sudden it’d become 10 bottles…
My head is becoming cloudier…
10 bottles…Lee Kyungwon, you’ve drunk more than this…
…you’ve gotten weaker.. <_<
“Kyungwon, are you okay? Stop drinking.”
“I’m okay! ^0^!!!”
“Oh my God, you’re totally out. How are you going to meet Seungpyo.”
........
..............
..................
“I’m not >_< .”
“It’s your last day, of course you have to!”
“I can’t meet Seungpyo, unnie… hehee, I can’t… Seungpyo doesn’t know me… Seungpyo said he didn’t know me…
“You’re totally drunk… <_<…”
“Seungpyo said he didn’t know me, unnie…he said he didn’t know me…”
I could feel tears flowing out of my eyes…
.............
Dammit….
…I shouldn’t have drunk anything…
“Kyungwon, something’s up isn’t it…?”
“No~~!! If I don’t have you, I don’t have anything ^0^!!! Man, I’m full hehehe!! >_< !”
Unnie got up with a hard face and started to call somewhere…
I can hear her voice, but I can’t understand what she’s saying….
KEKEKEKE!!
.........
.......
..................
..........
“What’s his damn number?!”
Unnie’s loud voice asked angrily….
Damn, she’s scary…
Unnie hung up her phone…
With the scary mask on her face, she furiously punched in numbers….
“Unnie!! Drink some more! Unnie, drink some more!! Hehe!!”
“Kim Seungpyo, listen to what I have to say.”
Unnie just said Seungpyo…
Oh right, her boyfriend’s name is Seungpyo too.. Han Seungpyo….
I must have heard wrong… >_<
“Han Seungpyo is Han Yehwon’s brother!! ^0^ !!! Han Yehwon is Han Seungpyo’s younger sister!!”
What the hell am I saying right now…?
Oh, my head hurts…
Time passed, and Jungeun unnie sat in front of me, I think… I couldn’t see clearly…
Jungeun unnie was crying, and she hugged me… what the hell is wrong with her…? <_<
“You dummy!! Dummy, you dummy, dummy… Lee Kyungwon…you dummy…”
“Unnie, I’m not a dummy, I’m smart… Hehe, ow, unnie it hurts, let go of me… TT_TT”
But Jungeun unnie didn’t….
........................
With unnie hugging me, I fell asleep…
I was so tired, I fell asleep…
When I woke up, I was on Unnie’s back.
Was she always this strong…? >_<
“Wow!! Unnie, you’re so strong!! Yahoo!! Yahoo!!!”
Unnie was silent…
“Unnie, where are we going?”
…unnie’s still silent….
“…hehe, unnie are you mad that I’m drunk…? You are aren’t you?”
A teardrop fell to the ground…
I think it fell from unnie’s eye…
“Unnie!! Why are you crying?! >0<!!”
…she was silent…
“Unnie!! Yahoo!!! >0<!!!!”
….why the hell is she so silent?
She just kept walking…
“…unnie, I have to go meet Seungpyo…I’m need to go meet him tomorrow… So unnie, just put me down…”
............
“Really!! Seungpyo said he was going to throw me a party since it’s my last day here!!! Unnie, if you keep hugging me then I won’t by able to meet him!! Put me down, huh!? >_<!!”
..........
................
....................
“Retard, Seungpyo’s right here…what are you talking about…”
......ㅇ_ㅇ....ㅇ_ㅇ......
“Unnie, what’s wrong with your voice…? You sound like Park Kyunglim…”
“….why didn’t you tell me… Lee Kyungwon, why didn’t you tell me… Who…who told you be go through this alone…”
“…….Seung………pyo…?”
....
........
............
The person carrying me wasn’t unnie…it was Seungpyo…
“…..who told you that you could go to Japan… tch, after squeezing all the tears out my eyes, who said that you can go to Japan…? You can‘t go.”
“…..Seungpyo……….Seungpyo……….Kim Seungpyo……..”
“Yeah…?”
“Are you really Seungpyo…? Really…? You’re Seungpyo…. Are you the Kim Seungpyo I know…?”
“Yeah, it’s Kim Seungpyo… it’s Kim Seungpyo who almost went crazy because of Lee Kyungwon… it’s Kim Seungpyo….”
“Seungpyo………..Seungpyo………..”
I buried my face in his back and started bawling…
It really is Seungpyo…it really is….
…..I raised my hand to touch his hair… it’s Seungpyo….
It’s Seungpyo…
“Why didn’t you tell me…I didn’t know…I thought that it was something else…who told you to go through this alone… retard…”
Seungpyo asked his voice tight.
“You didn’t give me a chance to explain…you said you didn’t know me…you said… +sniff+ that you didn’t know me….”
“….if it wasn’t for Jungeun nuna, I might have lost you… Eunsung went over to your house and ripped your tickets, so there’s no way you can go now…”
“….I’m not going to go…even if you try to make me go away, I’m not going to… Why’d you come now, dummy…? If you were a day late, I might now have been able to see you ever again….”
“….I came did-”
Before Seungpyo could finish, his tears made him stop.
............
“OW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Hehe, it’s not a dream…”
“Why’d you pull out my hair?!?! TT_TT!!”
“It’s not a dream… ^_^…”
“You should have pulled out our own hair, why’d you pull out mine?! TT0TT!!”
“…hhe, because I’m so happy…because I like Seungpyo so much….”
It was early morning….
Under a bright moon, a billion stars, and the night sky I made a wish…
Seungpyo& Kyungwon…please let us love….
...........
...................
“Kyungwon, you know the story about the little mermaid…?”
“Yeah, I do...why?”
“Then do you know the story about the mermaid who doesn’t become a bubble and die…? The one about the mermaid that marries and prince and lives happily ever after??”
“Yeah! Yeah!! I’d watch that movie all the time when I was little!! But why?? >0< ?!”
..........
..................
..............................
...............................
“The mermaid wants me to tell you that she says ‘thanks’.. ^_^…”