Part: 1 / ?
Series: Fushigi Yuugi
Author: Peach Blossom Faerie
Pairing: Hotohori x Nuriko
Rating: PG-15 (will be higher in later parts)
Warning: OOC, AU, some angst
Disclaimer: Fushigi Yuugi isn't mine - if it was all the bishonen wouldn't have magically fallen for Mary Sue - oops I mean Miaka.
Dry Your Tears.
His tears were falling like rain that never ceased. It seemed as if they were always going to be falling and nothing would ever stop them.
For hours Nuriko could do nothing but let all his pent up emotions out, his dreams and whole life had been bought crashing down about his ears by the one person who he was supposed to protect and put his trust into.
Horrified and repulsed golden eyes were seared into his mind. The beautiful features of the one he loved above all else had been twisted in shock and revulsion, the very image of which would be branded on his soul forever.
* * *
In the tent next to Nuriko�s, Hotohori continued to clean and sharpen his sword as he tried in vain to block out the muffled sound of Nuriko�s weeping. His stomach turned slightly at the idea of Nuriko as a man, he couldn�t see it - there was no man as pretty as he was, and yet it was the truth, Nuriko was a man - a man very much in love with him.
That was the thought that disturbed him more than anything else. He knew he was a bishonen in the eyes of women, but the idea that men looked at him in the same way more than un-nerved him. Yet he couldn�t help feeling guilty at Nuriko�s heart wrenching tears, he had not reacted well to the fake Miaka�s declaration and had looked at the other senshi with utter disgust and he was sure that it was that look which had the purple haired warrior crying into his pillow.
The fae senshi was a mystery to him. Nothing about the "Lady Kourin" really made sense, and as the senshi Nuriko, Hotohori had noticed a dramatic change in personality as if there were two entities residing in the one body. He wanted to know why Nuriko had deceived everyone and more importantly why he had declared his love for him - did he really love him, or was it part of his guise as a harem princess, he wasn�t sure which answer he would prefer.
The thoughts were giving him a headache so he re-sheathed his sword and settled down to sleep, Nuriko�s choked sobs echoing in his mind like a twisted lullaby.
The thick black clouds that hid the next morning's sun seemed to be a physical manifestation of the pain Nuriko felt in his heart, and as he packed his tent he kept his eyes trained firmly on the ground so not to see the disgust and anger directed at him from his fellow senshi.
* * *
They were two days ride from the capital when Nuriko finally reached within himself and drew out the courage to make a decision.
� Excuse me Heika-sama.� Nuriko reined in his horse and waited for the Emperor to acknowledge him - or not.
Hotohori winched as he heard the formal mode of address, surely Nuriko wasn�t so afraid of him that he felt he needed to use the formal mode of address that he knew Hotohori hated so much.
Stopping his horse he looked back at the pale senshi; he had lost weight in the week it had taken to get back to near the capital and Hotohori couldn�t help frowning at the dark circles that marred the feminine features of the young boy's face.
Nuriko looked at Hotohori�s scowl and very nearly changed his mind but he took a deep breath and continued, �This is as far as I am going Heika-sama. I will return to the village we passed through yesterday and remain there until the Suzaku no Miko returns.�
Hotohori looked incredulously at him, that was not what he had been expecting the other senshi to say at all, �But where will you stay?� he knew for a fact that the other senshi had no money and senshi or no, there was no where in the village that he could stay for free, Nuriko hadn�t said that he knew anyone there, �No Nuriko, you shall return with us to the palace.� he answered firmly, although he didn�t want to be around the frightening young man he believed that he was doing what was best for the other senshi.
He watched closely as a number of emotions flitted over Nuriko�s delicate face; fear, shame, love, pain, hope, desperation, and loss before Nuriko clamped down on them and allowed a mask of neutrality to affix its self. Turning back to the road Hotohori�s scowl grew deeper, he didn�t want to be the cause of Nuriko�s pain but he didn�t want to ask him about it and discover the true depth of Nuriko�s feelings - it was too strange and different.
Composing himself he thought of Miaka and continued to ride. It wasn�t until night fell and they stopped the horses to make camp for the evening that Hotohori realised they were missing a horse and its rider - Nuriko had disobeyed his Emperor and left.
�Tamahome! Where did Nuriko go?� he exclaimed and looked at the miserable senshi rolling out his blankets.
�He left about an hour after you told him he had no freedom.� Was the emotionless response.
Hotohori stilled and thought about this for a moment, but it was right - he was the Emperor and Nuriko was bound to him by his harem oaths. But by shunning the other senshi HE himself had made Nuriko�s vows void and the boy had in fear and shame run away from him.
A huge lump of guilt settled uneasily in his stomach, he wanted to go back and to find Nuriko but he couldn�t ride back nearly two days just to fight with the stronger senshi who would undoubtedly stay whether Hotohori liked it or not.
�Surely� he thought, �I cannot be the sole cause of Nuriko�s misery. He is a man, why then is he acting like some heartbroken maiden?�
Sleep was a long time coming to Hotohori, every time he closed his eyes he saw the pain and terror on Nuriko�s face as the fake Miaka revealed his secret, and again the fear and despair when he announced his plans to leave.
�He must have thought we were to have him imprisoned for his deceptions, but it never even crossed our mind to have him punished in any sort of way - he is one of Suzaku�s own, the revelation of his secret is surely punishment enough," he paused in his thoughts and his eyes flicked open, "yet we have punished him. By acting without thought and openly scorning him we have driven him away in fear and despair - his love for us is obviously not a harem mask, and we...," he forced his thoughts to drop the Imperial plural, " I have hurt him deeply - I have behaved dishonourably.� he picked up his sword and set about cleaning the blade by the moonlight, the familiar action comforting him as he tried to set all these new thoughts in order.
He had to return to the Palace and resume his duties as Emperor, but he couldn�t just leave Nuriko in a village with no money and nothing but the worn clothes in his pack.
�I can not send Tamahome to retrieve him for he would think himself in more trouble, yet I must return - but without a Senshi?� Hotohori was still troubled, �I must find Nuriko before I return - my honour and sense of integrity demands it.� And with that settled he lay down and attempted to sleep.
* * *
The next morning Hotohori awoke blearily and felt exhaustion settle like a mantle on his shoulders, he would have to back track until he reached the village. He wasn�t sure what he was going to do or say when he saw the other senshi, but he was sure it would come to him.
Tamahome awoke shortly afterwards and declined Hotohori�s offer to accompany him, he would go back to the capital and earn some money until they returned.
Leaving Tamahome to pack up the camp, Hotohori took the supplies he would be needing and rode toward the village.
* * *
He arrived at the village as night fell; he had made good time without the heavy packs on his horse or having to worry about others keeping up.
Dismounting he took his horse to the tavern�s stable and paid the stable boy to feed and look after it. Tired after his journey he decided to sit in the tavern and have a drink before looking for Nuriko.
Slipping in he found an empty table and waited for a serving wench to take his order. It came as a surprise to him when a familiar voice gasped, �Hotohori-sama!�
Looking up from his contemplation of the table, Hotohori was faced with the stunned and very pale face of Nuriko.
�Nuriko� I was looking for you.� He cursed himself, he was still unsure of what to say, and Nuriko�s face had flushed pink in a manner that Hotohori found oddly and terrifyingly attractive. He noticed with a wince that Nuriko still had dark circles under his eyes and if anything looked even thinner than before.
�I�m sorry sir, what was it you wanted to order?� Nuriko asked, completely blanking the statement. Hotohori had registered that Nuriko was wearing a dress but hearing the young man speak in the register of a woman after nearly a week and a half shocked the Emperor but not as much as Nuriko�s cold attitude.
�Nuriko, I want to speak with you.� He tried again
�If Sir is not ready to order someone will come back when you are.� And with that the violet haired cross dresser turned and moved gracefully to another table.
Hotohori watched with a worried frown puckering his forehead, Nuriko was acting almost like himself with the customers, giving winks and laughing and flirting lightly, it was a complete difference from the pained and shocked look that had marked the boys face moments ago.
He had to do something to grab the boy�s attention, ordering him to speak wouldn�t work he thought ruefully and rested his head on his arms against the table.
* * *
Nuriko felt tears welling in his eyes again as he felt Hotohori�s heavy gaze follow him around the room. He was sure that Hotohori had returned to chastise him for disobeying an Imperial command and drag him back to the palace so he could be beaten and slung in the dungeon.
He heard the other serving girls whispering about Hotohori and how gorgeous he was and it made him think of the harem, which in turn made him think of his soon to come punishment and the whole depressing cycle ran over in his mind again.
* * *
Hotohori watched as Nuriko deftly and gracefully served almost every patron in the small tavern except for himself. Three of the other serving wenches tried to get his attention and in the end he ordered a mug of warm cider, feeling slightly repulsed when the serving wench tried to look coyly at him whilst thrusting her chest in his face. Ignoring her attributes he thanked her for the drink and resumed his study of Nuriko.
With his hair styled and a dress covering his thin body he really looked like a woman, and if it hadn�t been the fact that Nuriko had run in the clearing, he would never have believed him to be anything otherwise.
A tiny part of his mind still nagged him on this and refused to settle down and believe that Nuriko was male, after all there was no man as beautiful as Hotohori in all of Konan or in any other realm, world, or universe for that matter.
The bell rang for last calls and Hotohori realised with a start that he had been so busy staring and trying to puzzle Nuriko out all evening that he had forgotten to find accommodation for the night.
With a sigh he pulled himself to his feet and moved over to the barkeep who was keeping a beady eye on a pair of ruffians sitting in a darkened corner looking entirely too innocent for their own good.
Nuriko watched as Hotohori acquired a room and left the tavern. He felt his stomach roil and heave and his shattered heart hurt just that little bit more. He wanted more than anything to believe that Hotohori was here because he cared, but he knew that the Emperor had only come to fetch him so he could face his punishment, and so he could avoid the embarrassment of returning home one Miko AND Senshi short.
A calloused hand reached out from the shadows and Nuriko found himself pulled across a young man�s knee.
�Hello beauty� a rough accented voice rasped, Nuriko felt disgusted as a tongue traced the shell of his ear. He wanted to use his powers and knock the man flying but he couldn�t call attention to himself.
�Anou, I have to be getting back to work please sir,� he simpered and lowered his eyes demurely, he had to move and soon. The man�s hand had started travelling under the hem of his dress and up the inside of his leg.
�Come on beauty, have a drink with me and ma buddy, we won�t hurt ya.� The man rasped again and started to nibble on Nuriko�s earlobe, his hand travelling up past his knee and stroking the velvet skin of Nuriko�s thigh.
Nuriko clamped his legs together and looked about nervously. A silken voice suddenly sounded from the stairs and Nuriko shuddered.
Hotohori was standing on the stairs dressed in plain trews and the sash on his shirt was working its way loose revealing ample amount of muscled torso and sculptured chest muscles. Nuriko felt his body twitch at the sight and sweat dropped madly - if his body had a reaction, the man he was perched upon would notice, and his secret would be revealed for a second time in as many weeks.
He nearly swooned when Hotohori strode over and pulled him from the man's lap and away up the stairs. He heard the drunkard complain about loosing his girl but it didn�t really register because Hotohori still had his arm possessively slung around Nuriko�s waist and had hold of his hand.
Finally they reached a small room and Hotohori unlocked the door allowing Nuriko to enter. He felt cold as Hotohori removed his arm and all his fears and tension rushed back with a vengeance.
Sinking to his knees he pressed his forehead to the ground in a gesture of supplication and waited to hear what Hotohori had to say.
ON TO PART TWO...
