We have all had storms in our life. Some harder than others...Phillipians 4:7 , Paul said...Not that I speak in respect from want. For I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am in." How do we become content in the middle of our storms? I have learned or should I say am learning that no matter what is going on around me or right smack dab in the middle of it...to be content....I have learned that God loves me enough and He truly will not allow anymore than I can bear. Right in the valley of desicion...we sometimes feel we want to give up...but God says to go on...that He will deliver us....we might think just in the "nick of time" but God is always on time. I wanted to share my testimony to let you know the storms God has brought me thru and how He protected me. I was saved very young. I served in the church as worship leader,sunday school teacher, just to name a few. I even worked in a Crhistian radio station. Still it seemed I was not satisfied. Something was missing. I so much wanted to be married. To settle down and was seeking God to bring me a husband. Well one day I finally met a guy that seemed to be interested in me. Nice guy, handsome and I was thinking who in the world would want me? I had a BAD self esteem problem. (God is still working on that!) So a few months went by and still working at the radio station, still leading worship and things began to change. Altho in the beginning the going to church and being so involved was great to him, things became difficult with us. I eventually thought that if I stop going to church and doing more things with him it would get better. It did for a time. Then drinking became a major problem. I started to drink a little myself just to make him think I was okay with it, when inside my spirit was screaming. I plugged my ears to the Spirit thinking that soon it would get better. When there was drinking there was violence. The violence was twards me. The first time was a shove and bruised arm. Swore he'd never do it again. Well he broke his promise. The abuse became so horrible that I lost count of how many times I could have died at the hands of this man. I was like I will let him do what he wants as long as it is peaceful. Even if that meant having other women. I just didn't want to be alone. So I did it. The drugs started . Crack cocaine, crank, weed, you name it , it was there. More problems, more drinking, more drugs, more abuse so Is tarted smoking crack cocain with him. I thought finally peace. Wrong again. One morning after a very abusive night I got in my car. Already 6 years of this. Nothing is going to change I thought. I just put my head on the steering wheel of the car and said, "God help me. Please help me. I can't do this anymore. God if you take this man out of my life I will come back and serve you the way you want me to. I don't want this life anymore God please Help!" I left him that day. I knew that if God didn't come thru for me I would be going back to him. I prayed and two weeks later God performed that miracle for me. I say a miracle because there are circumstances behind and in all of this that I won't go into detail over. God saved me. It's been 4 years now. My whole life has totally changed. I am now married to a wonderful Christian man. He has totally changed my life. God gave me a miracle when he gave me my husband. You see I prayed when I was really young for my husband. I prayed God would give me someone that loves Him most. Someone who would sing and play guitar...and I wanted to marry a Pastor. Well God gave me just that. I can't begin to tell you what a little compromise could do to your life. A little could destroy. God knows the beginning from the end, the end from the beginning. I praise God for what He's doing in my life. There is a storm that I'm going thru now but I know that God will deliver. He's faithful. If you or anyone you know are going thru some of the things I mentioned please allow me to pray for you. I know my prayers are not any better than anyone elses. But I know God hears them....for He gives me Peace Thru The Storm.
God Bless You All
Diane |
