I once read a journal and thought it was a terrible thing to put out there for all to read but I've since changed my point of view and created my own. Thus it begins:

Since Rogar has returned from Hell he has changed and isn't here very often these days. I sense he will be leaving us soon.

I miss Peace so much during his long absence. It seems as if he has been gone for years.

We were approached by Sage of the DD with an offer from Madame. who offered a blood bond with the DD. I have to admit I know nothing of such matters and in my desperation am searching for a way to contact Peace.

I talked to Peace this morning it was wonderful to finally see him again. He has given me instructions to sign the Blood Bond with the DD, I am not certain we are doing the right thing but I do as my Love instructs.

Peace has returned I am so very glad! I feel as if a weight has been removed from my shoulders. His love has given me a renewed strength. He has no idea how very much he is loved. The family has celebrated his return and are happy as well.

Our son Exodus hasn't been around in along time I miss him so very much.

I have been away for awhile and Have finally returned and it seems the whole world has changed. Rogar has decided to leave us and start his own clan. Although I am happy for him I will miss him desperately. I am so very disappointed to loose him as my QA. Searching to find someone to fill Rogar's shoes has been a difficult task if not impossible.

I have decided to appoint Nytebreez as my new QA I think she will serve her task to the best of her ability.

This evening a man came our home in search of Dasani he says he came to claim what was his. He kept talking of a wager that he and Dasani had. Das kept saying they were only children when the wager was made. After he left I questioned Das and she said there was a wager made when they were children and if she lost she agreed to become his slave forever. I fear he will return soon...

I talked to Dracco this evening and he brought something to my attention that I wouldn't have noticed otherwise. He and I decided it was the difference in men and women. When Goth showed up in the room the other night Xan was standing ready waiting for orders from me. Which shows the making of a Great Knight. After Dracco brought this to my attention I feel like I need to say something to Xan.

I got to spend some quality time with my Dearest Husband this evening. I have missed him so very much lately. He has no idea what he means to me, or what his presense does to me. I continue to strive to be a good wife to my husband, as he always is to me.

Tis a sad say the PD is on a downward swing and it hurts my heart greatly! Xandolf and Chantress took their son and left the PD. Sabrina decided to stay with us. It broke my heart to see them go. They must choose to go where they can be happy and I respect that. Although it truely broke my heart.

I sometimes wonder if I am cursed with failure. My first husband was a good man at heart, I think that the demon inside him took over and destroyed him. I pray to the Gods that I don't loose again, If I am left alone again I'm certain it will destroy me. Not that Peace is leaving me its just difficult to watch our family fall apart.

I have noticed that my husband's love seems stale. I was in the lodge alone feeling like my life was useless. I finally came to the point that I was going to end my own life. So I went back to the CastleSpawn where my life as a vampiress began to end my dark existance. The family came to my rescue. When I saw Peace the next time and went to tell him what I had done. He stopped me and said he knew what I was going to say and proceeded to say only "Don't Do That Again" No outbursts of love just "don't do it again". I hope to talk to him about this soon. It really makes me angry that I can't talk to my husband without someone already having told him my business. I hope it works out...

I have come to a new place in my life, I grow tired of living in the darkness, ever since I took of the darkness I've felt uneasy with myself. I gave myself to the darkness willingly, out of love for the one who bestowed it upon me. And I have lived to regret that decision.

I've come to terms with my darkness. Andrial has made it possible for me to live without harming others. He gave me a wooden goblet with a cover, when the cover is removed the goblet automatically fills with fresh blood. Andrial has become a close friend although he don't understand he has.

Pheonyx gave me a golden feather pin I wear it with pride it belonged in her family. I feel honored by the gift.

I've been spending alot of time with Andrial learning what I can. He was given back his feelings but they are controlled by a circlet on his head. Perhaps I can help him to control his feelings as I learned to control the darkness within myself.

I am with child once again, Peace and I haven't told anyone yet. The babe grows warm within me, this child is different from my sons. I am sure he/she will be the stongest of my children, like its father the child will be wise, strong and very beautiful. This child could be my demise...

I was questioned many times about the fact that Peace didn't want another child. I don't understand I thought everyone would be happy for us. I know I'm happy.

Each day that passes the warmth inside of me grows. This Girl child is going to be an amazing woman. I can't wait to hold her in my arms.

I attended a funeral tonight. The Queen of Kh was killed in a arena match. It was so very sad to watch her daughter. The little one didn't understand that her mother wouldn't be coming back at first she was afraid then she got angry. I felt for the little one, I hope in time she will heal.

I went to Peace and ask to step down from being the mediator of the SHC. I didn't like the way things are handled in this family now, so I felt this was the best move for me. I have so much to keep up with already.

Peace has yet to say anything to me about our child. I hope and pray things get better soon...

Angel has consented to Marry Toxic, I don't think Toxic will ever change. But for Angel's sake I pray that I'm wrong. Of all people Angel deserves to be happy. I'm happy for her, because she is happy, but honestly I'm worried...

The Wedding was beautiful there were guests from all over the realm. I was so hapy for Angel.

Lisana made her arrival today I tried to wait but she was determined to be born. I pray that he will forgive me for not waiting for him. She will not be held by another soul until after her father holds her first.

Toxic and I had a long talk and we buried the hatchet so to speak. We had been friends for many years and it was a shame for us to be at odds, especially since he is my son-in-law. *laughs to herself at Son-in-law*

Peace returned today and removed my crown. He said he thought it would be best if I just moved on. Andrial and BlackGryphons where the only ones to stand up for me. Andrial ask if I could remain as a clansman. Peace has been blinded by the words of others. He can't see that Fae is destroying everything she touches, she and Cryptic made it their mission to be rid of me. I didn't realize Cryptic played a part until my final evening in the lodge. Until she accidently said "Its not her SHC I was after" out loud in the room. It was then I realized she played a part as well. I admit I was wrong and done things that wasn't right, but my mistakes should have been excepted as law I was the Queen after all. I ask Peace why he was doing this and his only excuse was he was tired of the accusations of treason. The only person who yelled treason was Lady Fae. So he withdrew my crown as Queen and even withdrew his supposed life long commitment to me because I accused Fae of treason. He once told me she meant nothing to him, I suppose my suspicions about him and Fae were right all along.

A page from willow's diary

Tis a sad day for me, as of today my divorce should be final. I never dreamed this day would come about. But in all honesty my love for Peace was all but gone... because of all the times he didn't stand by me, but against me. I helped create the PD and it hurts my heart I can't be with my family. I will forever hold them in my heart. If I stayed I would have ended up hurting someone because of my bitterness. As I sit here looking at Lisana I'm thankful she isn't old enough to know the pain I feel in my heart. I think of her father a million times a day.

The walls of Alura echo with the sounds of a soft vampiric lullaby. Willow stands by Lisana's crib thinking that the child is ill. Her skin pale in color, more so than normal? She paces the floor waiting for the only person who can help her. Or at least tell her what to do to help. Glancing toward the entrance to the cave she whispers, Please hurry Dearest.

Glad that Lisana is well once again Willow sits down with her journal to write down some of her thoughts. Having seen Exodus last evening has given her much to think about.

Willow mostly sits in her home watching her daughter grow. She lives for the time she spends with the one who holds her heart. The nights with him are what sustains her existance, that and Lisana. There maybe one more in her life now, she smiles to herself and hopes...

Time has passed by quickly and Willow busys herself getting ready for another child. She can often be found sketching watching Lisana Play... she thinks of the PD often, missing her family, but she doesn't regret the life she has now and wouldn't change it for anything, her heart belongs to Him now and has ever since he kissed her cheek.

The baby came easily for Willow, Lisana her only assistant. The little boy lay in her arms as both mother and sister cry. Lisana looks at her brother He looks so much like Father. I wish he could be here Mom. Willow knows that wherever he is he knows his son has been born, of that she is certain.

Two days after the birth of her son Willow carries her son deep into the caverns of Alura to the center of the forrest. There she speaks using her magical powers knowing that the childs father and a chosen few can hear. "I have given you a son M'lord he is wise like yourself, he is young yet he is old. His name shall be "Allendon" he will be like his father and be able to walk in the light of day. Speaking now only to the childs father. He is beautiful dearest. Willow turns and slowly returns to the main chambers of the cavern to begin a new life with her son.

Allendon seemed to grow up witin a few short years. He was the true love of Willow's life. Allendon seemed to grow more and more angry as the years passed. Willow was worried about her son as he prepaired to strike out on his own on a journey to find his father, to confront him. Willow begged him not to go but Allendon was determined to find his father. As Lisana and Willow watched Allendon vanish into the forrest just outside Alura they held each other and cried. Lisana looked at her mother with love and told her she must go after Allendon. Lisana begged her mother to trust her, he will need me and he don't know it. Lisana kissed her Mother and ran after her brother.

Once again Willow found herself alone in the world. She had given birth to 4 children and yet she was alone. Her twin son's Exodus and Elias visit regularly but life is lonely.

One evening while sketching in the hidden forrest within Alura. Willow got a vision of SlvrWOLF sitting on his throne with a heavy heart. Their connection made stronger by the twin armbands worn by both Willow and SlvrWOLF. Willow put away her supplies and began to prepair to leave the caverns. While standing just outside the cavern entrance Willow whispered an ancient spell of protection over Alura. Hidding its entrance to anyone who might pass by.

There in the darkness Willow transformed into a dark mist and begain the long journey to The WolvenKynd Castle. Upon arriving at the castle Willow finds SlvrWOLF to be changed. Slvr was once a young playful person, he is now a tormented soul. Willow intends to help him if she can.

While living under the roof of the Wolvenkynd King Willow has found a new life, one that is filled with hope and something she hasn't seen in centuries... Light!