Signs of Loss -- July 11, 1998

Cynicism is usually the first sign.

Then it is a recession 
into a formal persona which
includes formal diction and nuances.

Then one observes a 'distancing' of the 
patient from surrounding peers
-- an isolation phase

Finally, absolute isolation is intertwined
with a delusional mode of thought.

Depression -- is that the word
that I am looking for ?

Cynicism -- is that what I really feel ?

My dishonourable actions
reflect upon the honour and
reputation of my friends
-- better if I do not cast 
my shadow upon their light.