Hidden - May 17, 2000

Hidden in the shoals
of the mind
are the subtle horrors of
a life not lived,
of a half-made attempt
at finding strength

Hidden is the
tightening of the fist
surrounding the heart
squeezing in distress
and never forgetting
the pain
that drives us
slowly
towards a precipice
where we dangle
like puppets
at the hands of
our own fate

Hidden
are the pangs of guilt
that assail you
in the middle of the night
when comfort cannot
be sought nor
given

Hidden
is the pain
behind the brighter smile
and clearest laughter
like a grey cloud
behind the morning sun

Hidden are my memories
in the maze that is my mind
to be packed away
in a small black box
only to be seen
in that lightless place
where we reside

Hidden
is the cost of pain
that is tolled each time
I read this
knowing full well
that the pain
does not go away

A cost that we pay
each time we think,
each moment we feel

Hidden
is the melancholy
that rules me.