Again thanks to resident reviewer Kieran, with a little help from Willy T...
Sacrilege! Drinking, smoking, hard rock and explicit nookie on what in the end was holy ground� Ozzie, SUCK HOT BEEF!
My initial dismay that everyone in the hall had decided to be a wallflower and the infuriatingly horny leech that is little Willy Hopkins intermittently giving me epileptic fits with his camera, which, had a strange tendency to be pointed at the surrounding mammary glands almost spoiled my night. But, being that I had arrived half-pissed and decided to build on my inebriation, I couldn�t even remember what upset was�
St. Olave�s rock freshmen 3 Second Memory brought the devotees from the walls and despite Oli�s anti-moshing protest (what-the-fuck?!) managed to erupt the sufficient sadistic flesh pounding that is the mosh pit (and not just Will in the toilets). My initial impressions of 3 Second Memory were why are they spinning?! But then after a few slaps I came to the conclusion that my god, these guys are fucking excellent! With Trevor�s angelic vocals and mightily impressive fret-work commanding and receiving all due respect and Gabriel�s obvious recognition as a sex-god, 3 Second Memory proved themselves on the biggest stage, despite their lack of bassist (which by the way, could�ve been resolved had it not been for yours truly�s last minute change of heart) and their minor slip ups were hardly noticeable.
However when our lord that is St. Davo - now King of Bass � and his four-stringed weapon who we know and love as Timo took to the stage, the floor went ballistic, and the mood of the crowd was only improved by the quite magnificent rendition of �When I Come Around�, even the Incubus (what?!) cover roused some cheers and also some boos although �Incubus suck, but 3SM rock!� could be heard above all the noise as Trevor, Gabriel, Ben and Shara left the stage.
A six pack of Fosters, half a bottle of vodka and what some girl assured me was weed later, the star attraction (for me anyway) took to the stage and the usual �PDA rock my socks!� could be heard roaring from my drunken mouth. That mouth was virtually foaming when my favourites �Maunder� and �Goldfinger� stole my hearing. Despite the loss of (F)Laura (only noticeable because of the presence of vocals) and the absence of Ros (who?) the band who called upon the mighty Trev (complete with his stylish �GEEK/DOUBLE AGENT� t-shirt) to fill their vocal void.
The rest of the set was at its fun-loving best and although at some point I was dancing like a prat and seemed to somehow slice my elbow, the great music, back stamping of Hopkins (and his failure in seduction of every woman in the room � when will he learn, the cheeky chap), arse-kicking of Norwick made for a night of sexy, drunken rock, and to top it all off I didn�t even throw up�
Roll on July and the Summer Fayre for all your musical needs�
Now a special one-off journalistic foray from Fun Lovin� Will � The Man Who Took JoRn�s Shoes. (Big shout out to Alex, who got gutter-crap on her tits, and also to Keith, for being both gutter-crap and a tit.) The night of Hot Shoe Action all started with a violent bundle involving the rapid propulsion hurling JoRn into some bystanders. His right shoe was summarily removed and, with screams of �I�ve got John�s shoe!� I ran from the building. Unfortunately the shoe was quickly retrieved � JoRn clambering up on a wheelie-bin to gain access to it. In a thrilling tussle, Alex grabbed JoRn�s shoe again, and ran off round the side of the church. Some quick boosting action got the aforementioned gutter-crap on her tits, but also �gratifyingly � got JoRn�s shoe hanging from a gutter in darkness. The second shoe, taken in another daring raid along with a rancid sock, was deposited at the top of someone�s fire escape. The sock was dealt with as swiftly as possible, because it reeked. Unfortunately, Keith�s inestimable tittiness meant that the shoedular items were returned, but not before some hilarious barefoot moshing from JoRn � against his will of course. It�ll be you next, Keith; �Pinball on A Matchstick�! Signing Off!
Be warned, there will be other crap bands there too�
