::Jack puts on headphones and radios into Control Center as they finally begin their descent in the "Heartbreaker"::

Jack Valentine: Control Center, this is the Heartbreaker, flying in from the United States of America to Transylvania, do I have clearance?

Control Center: ::The sound of bats fluttering around is heard:: Very well Heartbreaker...very well

Jack Valentine: ::After turning off his headphones:: What the hell was that?

Christina Livingston: It sounded like bats.

Jack Valentine: That's what I thought it was. I don't like this...I don't like this one bit.

Christina Livingston: It'll be fine Jack...vampires are people too, remember.

Jack Valentine: The whole country is probably a million Vampir Nosferatu's running around wanting to suck your blood.

Christina Livingston: It's nothing like that Jack...nothing at all.

Jack Valentine: Have you ever been here? I didn't think so.

Christina Livingston: Just relax Jack, we're hear to learn, not to cause trouble.

Jack Valentine: The only reason they wanted us here was to get some new fresh blood. I'm turning this plane around.

Christina Livingston: You can't Jack, we're too close to the ground.

::Jack reluctantly lands the plane on the dirt runway on Transylvania territory. The plane skids in towards the small shack ahead of them and finally comes to a halt::

Jack Valentine: This is an airport? It's smaller than the plane! I'm not getting out, this is way too spooky.

Christina Livingston: Be cool Jack, be cool. Let's get out and get our bags.

::Christina hops right out of the plane and opens the hatch up on the plane. She gets her bag out first and tosses Jack his bag while he is still inside the plane::

Christina Livingston: Come on you wimp.

::Jack takes a slow step out of the plane and a bat swoops down and grazes his face. Jack is quick to jump back in the plane::

Christina Livingston: Calm down, it's just a bat...there are a lot of those here.

::The bat flies behind the shack and seconds later a mysterious man walks out from the same location that the bat flew in. He is wearing a long black cape with a very pale face. He has dark hair and long sharp fangs coming from the inside of his mouth::

Jack Valentine: Holy Christ! Did you see that? The bat turned into that guy...hurry up Christina, get back in the plane.

Christina Livingston: Just a coincidence Jack...now get out here.

::Jack steps out of the plane, his nerves still tense. The man from behind the shack comes over to greet Jack and Christina. He speaks with a very "Transylvanian" like accent::

Odd Man: Velcome to Transylvania my American friends. I vant to be the first to say hello to you and ask if I may be of any assistance...any assistance at all.

Jack Valentine: Yeah, can you tell us where the main lobby is, I'm awful thirsty and I need to sit down in the Admiral's Club.

Odd Man: ::Pointing to the shack:: This right here is all that ve have. Ve don't get many outside vistors. In fact, you are the first visitors in over seven months.

Jack Valentine: ::Jack looks over and whispers to Christina:: I knew this was going to be a bad idea.

Christina Livingston: ::She pulls out a piece of paper:: Actually, we are looking for someone, a wrestling instructor. He is supposed to be the best instructor in all of Transylvania. Here is his name, I can't pronounce it.

::Christina hands the paper to the odd man::

Odd Man: Ah, yes yes, the great Vlad Tepes de Rais. The famous Transylvanian vrestling coach. He has trained some of the best vampires across the world.

Jack Valentine: How do we find him?

Odd Man: I vill have my servant take you to his laboratory.

Jack Valentine: Laboratory?!?

Odd Man: Yes, yes...the place vhere he vill teach you to vrestle.

Jack Valentine: Vhere...I mean where will we find this servant?

Odd Man: One moment...::He shouts at the shack:: IGOR!! Come here pronto!

::A tiny man with a gigantic hump in his back pulls a horse carriage around from the back of the shack with two large black stallions, eyes glowing red::

Jack Valentine: ::Whispers to Christina:: There is no way I am getting on that thing. ::Looking towards the odd man:: Don't you have cars here?

Odd Man: Cars, vhat are cars?

Jack Valentine: The man doesn't even know what cars are. How in the hell am I going to get any help from this wrestling teacher?

Odd Man: I'm just teasing you my American friend. Ve do not believe in cars because it pollutes the air and ve vant the clearest air in the world.

Jack Valentine: Well....ok....but I still am a little bit skeptical.

Igor: ::In a raspy voice:: Can I help you with your bags master?

Jack Valentine: Yes, yes peasant...please do. ::Turning to Christina:: I already like this Igor guy.

Christina Livingston: ::Rolls her eyes:: Just get in the carriage Jack, it's pretty late and we're supposed to meet with this Vlad guy tomorrow morning.

::Jack and Christina climb into the carriage and wait for Igor to finish putting their bags in the back::

Odd Man: Igor...take these vonderful people to the mansion on Masquerade hill. ::Looking at Jack with a spooky look in his eye:: They will take very...very good care of you there.

Igor: Yes master...right away.

::Igor takes Jack and Christina away from the airport and as Jack turns around the odd man is not to be seen. Igor continues the ride for about an hour, traveling through the dark, musky Transylvania. There is lightning seen throughout the skies but no rain is falling. Jack tucks himself low into his seat in fear as Christina sits upright like nothing is wrong. When they finally get to the old, run-down mansion, Igor releases the reigns to the horses and wobbles down off of his seat to grab the bags. He lifts the bags of Jack and Christina off of the back and wobbles to the main entrance of the mansion. He sets the bags down and grabs the gigantic, bat shaped knockers at the front of the door and knocks loudly several times::

Igor: ::While looking down at Christina's breasts:: Now those are some nice knockers...

::Jack looks at him with an evil eye after he says this. Seconds later the door opens and no one is there. Igor walks right in and sets the bags down. A mysterious figure lurking in the darkness awaits at the top of the stairs::

Figure: I've been expecting you...

Jack Valentine: ::Gulps:: You have?

Christina Livingston: Of course he has Jack, I made reservations weeks ago.

::Igor holds out his hand, expecting a tip from Jack Valentine::

Jack Valentine: ::Pulling out a picture of himself:: Oh, I'm sorry buddy...here you go. ::He signs the picture::

Igor: Thank you master ::Mumbling as he walks away:: Who the hell is this guy...lousy chump.

::The figure approaches out of the darkness::

Figure: Welcome to the fabulous Mansion on Masquerade hill. You are our first guests in over seven months...we've been getting a little lonely up here and we are so happy that you could make it.

Jack Valentine: Lonely...as in blood thirsty?

Christina Livingston: Oh stop Jack...I'm sorry sir, he's just a little nervous being away from home. We'd really like to get some sleep though. We've got to meet with Vlad Tepes de Rais tomorrow.

Figure: Ah yes, the famous wrestling coach...a fine fine man that Vlad is. Come this way, I will show you to your room.

::Jack and Christina walk up the rusty stairs and go down to the east corridor. The man points them to their room and they walk inside. The room is full of cobwebs and horrifying pictures of death on the wall. The bed is covered in see through black sheets and has black sheets surrounding the four large posts of the bed. The strange figure puts his hand on the door handle::

Figure: Don't let the bed bugs bite.

::The figure shuts the door and Jack and Christina are left alone in the room::

Jack Valentine: This whole country is full of nutballs Christina. I am so glad we are doing this wrestling thing tomorrow so we can get out of here tomorrow night.

Christina Livingston: It's not that bad Jack...you just have to understand that all foreigners are different from us.

Jack Valentine: Yeah, but other foreigners won't cut your arms off and feed them to their children.

Christina Livingston: Jack, you really need to stop watching those scary movies.

Jack Valentine: What? It's true...I saw how that weird guy at the door was looking at us. He was hungry and he wanted a side of human to go with his dinner.

Christina Livingston: Oh please Jack...you need to get some rest. We've got a big day tomorrow and you've got a lot to learn.

Jack Valentine: Alright, but let's just get the hell out of here after we're done with whoever this guy is. I can't stand to stay around these vampires another minute.

::Jack and Christina make their way over to the large black bed, draped in black sheets. The bed is covered in cobwebs and there are spiders and other bugs roaming beneath the cover. Christina is so tired, she doesn't even notice them, but Jack, being the coward that he is, does not sleep in the bed. He goes across the room and lays down on the cold, damp floor. Christina is heard with a light wimpering snore as Jack lay on the floor with his eyes wide open::

The Next Day...

::Christina awakens from her sleep refreshed and ready to go. When she wakes up, Jack is still asleep, having a horrible nightmare::

Jack Valentine: No! No! Don't suck my blood!

::Christina pushes Jack on the shoulder to wake him up::

Christina Livingston: Come on babe, time to get up.

Jack Valentine: Not already...I just went to sleep...those damn bugs kept me up all night. What a hellhole this place is...I can't see how any vampire can have the qualities of a wrestler when they live like this.

Christina Livingston: Well, apparently Vampir has those qualities and he is ready to rip your head off in that ring. That's why we've got to go find this Vlad guy so he can give you some inside hints on how this guy wrestles. So get up, and let's get going.

Jack Valentine: Let me take a shower first.

Christina Livingston: They don't have showers here Jack...

Jack Valentine: We should have just went to Transylvania, Virginia...I bet they have showers there.

Christina Livingston: They probably do, but you won't find the same vampire wrestlers there as you will here today. So put on your gear and lets get going.

::Jack puts on his wrestling gear; black leather pants and pink wrestling boots. Christina is wearing jeans and a cutoff t-shirt. They open up their door and head down the stairs. Not a voice is heard in the entire mansion and the strange figure is nowhere to be found::

Christina Livingston: Where is everyone?

Jack Valentine: Probably asleep in their coffins..

Christina Livingston: Very funny Jack.

Jack Valentine: It's true....our wrestling vampire coach will probably be in his coffin too, and from what I've seen, you do not want to wake these guys up.

Christina Livingston: Jack, we have an appointment with him at 8:00 AM. I'm highly doubting that he wouldn't show up since we are paying him big bucks to train you.

Jack Valentine: Fine, let's just go, how do we get there.

::Christina goes to the front door and sees a note from the strange figure::

Mr. Valentine and Ms. Livingston,

Went out for the day, be back later tonight. Igor will take you to the laboratory. Just ring the bell.

-Boris

::Jack looks over and sees a small bell on the counter by the door. He picks it up and rings it very softly and within seconds, Igor is waiting at the door::

Igor: Did you have sweet dreams my friendly Americans?

Christina Livingston: Oh yes, thank you very much.

Igor: Hop on in, and I will take you to your desired location...

Jack Valentine: ::Looking into the sky:: Is there a storm on the front Igor?

Igor: No master...clear skies all day.

Jack Valentine: ::With a puzzled look:: It's almost eight o'clock in the morning. Doesn't it get light here?

Igor: Not here...it is never light here.

Jack Valentine: ::Whispering to Christina:: This place is just too weird.

Christina Livingston: We're going to Vlad Tepes de Rais' Wrestling school Igor...do you know where that is at?

Igor: Who doesn't?

::Igor slaps the horses on the back with the reigns and they take off running. Upon arrival, they pull up to a large run down black building with "Laboratory" written on it. Igor stops his horses and Jack and Christina climb off. Igor reaches out his hand again, expecting a tip::

Jack Valentine: You want another autograph buddy? I didn't know I was this popular in Transylvania.

Igor: Not really.

Jack Valentine: Oh, I get it, you want to shake my hand...and who doesn't nowadays.

Igor: ::Coughs:: Everyone ::Coughs:: Thank you master.

::Even after the ignorance of Jack Valentine, Igor still shakes his hand. Igor takes off on his two black stallions as Jack and Christina walk in the main entrance of the laboratory. The school is very dark, lit only by candles. There is one wrestling ring on the inside with loose dark brown ropes surrounding it, like old gym ropes. There are about 11 or 12 other guys in the "laboratory," either working out, or grappling with each other. A very large white man comes forward and introduces himself::

Vlad Tepes de Rais: You must be Jack Valentine, I'm Vlad Tepes de Rais.

Jack Valentine: You're Vlad Tepes de Rais?!?

Vlad Tepes de Rais: What, is something wrong?

Jack Valentine: No, I just pictured you...

Vlad Tepes de Rais: You just pictured me as some small, scary looking, pale faced, blood sucking vampire...right?

Jack Valentine: Well, in all honesty...yes.

Vlad Tepes de Rais: Truth is, I'm only half vampire. My mom was an American, just like this lovely young lady...you must be Christina. ::He kisses her hand::

Christina Livingston: Why yes, yes I am.

Vlad Tepes de Rais: If I was all vampire, there is no way that I would be helping you. You have to stay true to what you are...that's my motto. But, since you are from America...a place that I have longed to see for many years, the birthplace of my mother...I will help you. You say you have a big match against a vampire coming up soon?

Jack Valentine: Yes, Vampir Nosferatu...ever hear of him...

Vlad Tepes de Rais: We don't hear of many American wrestlers out here, and we tend not to bother. We feel that we here in Transylvania have the best wrestlers around. And by nature, vampires are the best wrestlers.

Jack Valentine: Well, that's good, because I need to learn how to fight like a vampire if I want to win this thing.

Vlad Tepes de Rais: Ah, my pupil...there is no way that you will ever learn how to fight like a vampire, for it is a thing that only comes natural to us in our blood. I was fortunate enough to have the blood of a vampire and the blood of a white person to give me the best of both worlds.

Jack Valentine: So why don't you tell me what I need to know to beat this vampire...

Vlad Tepes de Rais: First of all we'll start out with the basics...would you care for a drink...this may take a little bit.

Jack Valentine: Sure, what do you got?

Vlad Tepes de Rais: Well, we've got bloody marys, bloody scotch, bloody gin, and gatorade.

Jack Valentine: ::Glances at Christina:: Told you...

Christina Livingston: What? They have gatorade.

Jack Valentine: What kind of gatorade do you have vlad?

Vlad Tepes de Rais: Today, hmm...I don't know what it's called, but it's red, if you like that...

::Valentine eyes Christina, as if he is telling her he is right::

Jack Valentine: You know what, I think I'll pass...

Christina Livingston: I'll take a gatorade..

Vlad Tepes de Rais: That's the spirit...1 gatorade coming right up.

::Vlad gets the gatorade and comes back to give it to Christina::

Vlad Tepes de Rais: Here you go...if you want you can take a seat over in one of those chairs over there while I work with your....husband?

Jack Valentine: Boyfriend..

Christina Livingston: Ok, thank you very much.

Vlad Tepes de Rais: Alright Jack...the first and most important thing that you need to know is that vampires are vicious people.

Jack Valentine: I think I've already figured that one out.

Vlad Tepes de Rais: They love the sight of blood, so the key is, not to let them see you bleed. Always carry a towel or something to wipe up the blood in the ring. Vampires feed off of this stuff. Once they see it, you are done, because they will attack this spot like nothing else matters in the world.

Jack Valentine: OK, great...::He makes note of this in a notebook::

Vlad Tepes de Rais: Secondly, vampires are stronger, and have more tolerance for pain than any human. They will fight longer than anyone that I have ever seen and will attack your most weakest areas...

Jack Valentine: How do I compensate for this?

Vlad Tepes de Rais: We've all got dicks Jack...when the referee isn't looking, hit him in the balls.

Jack Valentine: So you're saying the only way for me to beat this guy is to cheat?

Vlad Tepes de Rais: In a nutshell...yes.

Jack Valentine: That shouldn't be a problem...I've done it many times in the past.

Vlad Tepes de Rais: You seem like the kind of guy who would cheat to win.

Jack Valentine: ::Thinks for a second:: Well, thank you.

Vlad Tepes de Rais: Basically, those are the two most important things you need to know when fighting a vampire....Don't bleed and cheat to win.

Jack Valentine: I came all the way out here, and that's all I'm going to learn?

Vlad Tepes de Rais: Of course not...I want to see how your ringwork is. Vampires have a very unique style in wrestling and I would like to put you in a match with one of my top students...Count Michlah IV.

Jack Valentine: OK, let's get in the ring!

Vlad Tepes de Rais: Alright, but you must remember what I have told you...use these tips in the ring.

::Jack steps into the old, run-down, candle-lit ring and is soon followed by the famous Transylvanian wrestler, Count Michalh IV. Count Michlah IV is very similar to what Vampir Nosferatu loooks like. Long, dark hair, fangs, well built, tall and slender. He slowly paces around Jack Valentine, giving him an evil eye. Already, Jack has a nervous look in his eyes. Jack takes off his jacket and the bell rings. The vampire jumps off of the second rope and flies across the ring, smashing his arms across the neck of Jack. Michlah begins slashing his long fingernails at the neck of Valentine, causing him to bleed. The vampire covers Valentine for the pin, while licking the blood off of the injured neck of Jack::

Vlad Tepes de Rais: I see you have a lot to learn about wrestling vampires.

Jack Valentine: ::Heavily breathing:: What the hell was that? That's not wrestling, that's manslaughter.

Vlad Tepes de Rais: That's what we vampires are known for...we show no mercy and feel little pain. We can go after you without hesitation and have no fear...that's what makes us such good wrestlers. You have to always keep your guard up at all times, and remember...you have to hit him where it counts. Let's try this again, this time with a different vampire...

::A new vampire awaits in the ring and Jack steps into it again. This time, when the bell rings, the vampire goes right after Valentine again, but Valentine manages to move out of the way. The vampire looks at Valentine again, and goes for the same move, but Jack is able to move out again. The third time, the vampire sprints at Jack and Jack manages to trip him. Jack looks around like he is the greatest thing in the world and then lifts his foot up, only to bring it crashing down on the "manhood" of the vampire. Jack puts one foot on the vampire as the referee counts to three. Jack jumps up and down, cheering and waving like he is something special. The other vampire wrestlers just stare Jack down and start moving towards the ring::

Jack Valentine: What is going on?

Vlad Tepes de Rais: Well, I didn't tell you that the other vampires would like it if you cheat to win. They are like a big family and will stand up for each other, so my best guess for you is that if you want to get out of here alive, you better pray that you can get past eleven other vampires.

::The other vampires begin moving in on Jack as Jack just looks around the room, sweat pouring down the side of his face::

Jack Valentine: Christina...HELP!

::Christina puts down her gatorade and runs over to the ring. The vampires don't stop moving in, and Christina decides to pick up a wooden chair from the side of the ring and begin smashing it over the heads of the vampires. This causes little damage to the superhuman beings, so Christina climbs in the ring, grabs the hand of Jack and takes him running out of the door. Igor is waiting outside and they jump on the carriage::

Christina Livingston: Hurry...to the airport.

Igor: Yes, masteress.

::As Igor gets the horses running, all 11 of the vampire wrestlers and Vlad come out of the main entrance. Some of the vampires throw pieces of the chair at the carriage. Vlad decides to say one last thing to Jack on his way out of the laboratory::

Vlad Tepes de Rais: Good luck Jack...come back anytime.

::He begins laughing with the other vampires as the scared Jack Valentine turns back around and lowers himself into his seat. Upon arrival at the airport, Jack and Christina begin talking again::

Jack Valentine: I told you this would be a bad idea.

Christina Livingston: Well, you couldn't have known that the vampires wouldn't have liked you kicking one of their friends in the balls.

Jack Valentine: I can't believe we wasted all of this time coming to Transylvania.

Christina Livingston: It wasn't a total waste. You learned that you can't bleed in the ring with a vampire and that you have to cheat to win. I think those are very important things that you couldn't have known without coming here. Plus, you got experience wrestling with other vampires, and even beat one!

Jack Valentine: That is true, I kicked his ass.

Christina Livingston: I think you are totally ready for Vampir Nosferatu, and you are going to win that World Title tournament.

::Igor makes a stop by the plane and holds out his hand, once more expecting a tip::

Jack Valentine: What could you want now? Oh, I know...

::Jack grabs Igor's hand and moves it in the direction of Christina's breasts::

Igor: Yes...yes...this is better than a tip!

::Jack moves Igor's hand past Christina's breasts and touches Igor's hand to the plane::

Jack Valentine: I can understand why you would want to touch this plane...it is the plane of a future world champion.

Igor: ::Pouting:: Thank you master...

::Jack and Christina climb in the plane and as they getting ready to leave, they realize that they left their bags at the mansion. Jack yells out of the plane to Igor::

Jack Valentine: Igor my good man...can you have the hotel send us our luggage?

Igor: ::Still pouting from not being able to touch Christina:: Yes master...

::Jack and Christina quickly take off in their plane before the vampires can catch up with them. As they are leaving the camera focuses in on Igor, flicking off the plane as it takes off in the air. Igor climbs on his carriage and rides away. As Jack looks down one last time, he realizes that the shack that was once at the airport is gone, and no buildings are in sight::

Jack Valentine: What a weird country...I am never, never, never going back there again...

::The Scene Fades::

FINAL THOUGHTS

Read OOC thoughts from the handler of Jack Valentine