Letter21

Dear Family and Friends,

These days, I wonder everyday, "What in the world am I doing here, thousands
of miles from home, when America, my COUNTRY, is facing such tragic
circumstances and such strife?" I wonder why am not home, being united with
my country, flying my American flag with pride, and standing behind the
efforts of our president and the efforts being done to help in such dire
times. I joined the Peace Corps BECAUSE I wanted to do something for my
country and BECAUSE a deep-rooted patrotism and pride burns in my soul,
causing me to desire to help people who have not been blessed with such a
country of amazing freedom, opportunity, and security. It kills me that I
don't have a T.V. to be informed and understand the magnitude of what my
country is facing, I grasp for any information I can from my family members
and from CNN.com. But, still, I know that is not enough and I often feel
like a traitor who has deserted her country in times of need, when
originally her sole intent was to help her country in the first place. It's
odd to think that, right now, I am safer in a tiny country called Bulgaria
than on the soil of the place that has sheltered me for nearly 24 years.

On the other side of things, I still feel the pain and shock that other
Americans are experiencing, even from thousands of miles away. I didn't see
the news when it broke, I didn't experience the dibelief and horror that
most of you experienced as you watched firsthand as an airplane slammed into
the World Trade Center and as people jumped to their deaths from collapsing
buildings, I am not there to see the stories of the many lives that were
lost or to feel the country uniting to combat this evil. I am not there to
experience the reality that America is now facing, though I feel it all the
same. I am here, on the other side of the coin. I see the Bulgarian people
offering their condolences and support, like countries all over the world
are now doing; I watch as Bulgarians read about the tragedy in their
newspapers and watch it on the news, shock and horror shining upon their
faces; I see another country echoing the understanding of people all over
the world as they flood the U.S. Embassy with flowers and momentos, offer
their prayers, and stand still in the streets of every Bulgarian city and
town, as if frozen in time, as sirens sound to signal a moment of silence
for the United States of America. The support we have throughout the world
right now is absolutely AMAZING.

On Friday, I met with the immigration office at the local police station, a
standard procedure for those requesting an ID to live and work in Bulgaria.
The police officer who met with me offered his condolences, with sympathy
flickering in his troubled eyes, and he assured me that the police forces
throughout Bulgaria are committed to keeping us, Americans, safe and secure
as we work in this country and he assured my protection. A couple working
in another town here in Bulgaria experienced something similar when the
police station called after the incident just to check on them, making sure
that they were safe. The e-mail boxes of all of the Peace Corps Volunteers
serving in Bulgaria have been flooded with e-mails from Bulgarian friends,
offering their sympathy and prayers.

I am not in America to see and experience what Americans are truly facing,
but as an American serving abroad, I see and feel the support of the world,
who is standing beside us with amazing vigor. America shall overcome this,
one step at a time. And, as America rises to victory, hundreds of Peace
Corps volunteers are scattered in nations throughout the world, serving and
forming relationships and bonds with millions of people, who are all
standing behind a much-admired country of freedom, opportunity, and security
100%. Both mine and Bulgaria's thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Love,
Chantel