Yo mama's breath is so stank, we don't know whether she needs gum or toilet paper.
The difference between Yo mama and 747: not everyone's been on a 747.
I saved Yo mama's life today... I killed a shit-eating dog on the way over.
When Yo mama was born they had to take her out of the trash can cause the doctor said "Throw this shit away!"
Yo mama smells like hot ass on a cold day.
Yo mama's a stunt double for the Predator.
Yo mama's butt is so big, it looks like 2 pigs fighting over milk duds.
Yo mama's butt is so bony, she put her drawers on and cut them in two.
Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.
Yo mama drives a peanut.
Yo mama's such a whore that I could've been Yo daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
Yo mama's teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.
Yo mama's lips are so big, when you smile you wet your hair.
Yo mama's blind and seeing another man.
Yo mama's twice the man you are.
Yo mama's drawers are so funky, the roaches check in but they don't check out.
Yo mama's forehead's so big, you could show slides on it.
Yo mama's feet so big, her sneakers need license plates.
Yo mama's hair is nappier than a goats ass.
Yo mama's hair is so nappy, she has to take Tylenol just to comb it.
Yo mama's house is so dusty the roaches ride around on dune buggies.
Yo mama watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Yo mama's gums are so black, that she spits Yoo Hoo.
Yo mama was such an ugly baby, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, she has to brush them with a butter knife.
Yo mama ain't got no fingers talkin' bout "Oh snap."
Yo mama's cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.
I saw Yo mama kicking a can down the street. I ask's what she was doing, and she said "Moving."
Yo mama's glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map, she can see people waving at her.
Yo mama ain't got no legs talkin' bout how she's gonna run for president.
Yo mama's in a wheelchair talkin' bout "Stop pushing me around."
Yo mama's lips are so big, that ChapStick had to invent a spray.
Yo mama was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.
Yo mama ain't got no ears talkin' bout "I hear ya."
Yo mama's mouth is so big, she speaks in surround sound.
Yo mama said she liked seafood, so I gave her crabs.
Yo mama's maxi pads are so thick, she could bend over and deflect bullets.
Yo mama was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags.  I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
 

YO MAMA'S GOT...

Yo mama's got more crust than bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Yo mama's got an afro with a chin strap!
Yo mama's got so much hair under her arms, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
Yo mama's got a wooden leg with branches.
Yo mama's got snakeskin teeth.
Yo mama's got no fingers talking bout how she wanted to be with the Pointer sisters.
Yo mama's got a bald head with a part and sideburns.
Yo mama's got a glass eye with a fish in it.
Yo mama's got three teeth... one in her mouth and two in her pocket.
Yo mama's got a metal afro with rusty sideburns.
Yo mama's got everything a man could want.
Yo mama's got more weave than a dog in traffic.
Yo mama's got one eye, one leg, one arm and one knee and they call her UNO.
Yo mama's got no ears and was trying on sunglasses.
Yo mama's got three fingers and a banjo.
Yo mama's got so many rings around belly she's gotta screw her underwear on.
Yo mama's got green hair and thinks she's a tree.
 

YO MAMA HAS...

Yo mama has a short leg and walks in circles.
Yo mama has a `fro with warning lights.
Yo mama has one hand and a Clapper.
Yo mama has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.

YO MAMA'S HEAD...

Yo mama's head is so little, she could wear fruit loops as head rags.
Yo mama's head is so big, she don't have dreams, she have movies.
Yo mama's head is so nappy, when she combs her hair her teeth bleed.
Yo mama's head is so small, she got her ear pierced and died.
Yo mama's head is so big, she has to wash her hair at Niagara falls.
 

YO MAMA'S LIKE...

Yo mama's like a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.
Yo mama's like a bubble gum machine, 5 cents a blow.
Yo mama's like a door knob, everybody gets a turn.
Yo mama's like an ice cream cone...  everyone gets a lick.
Yo mama's like Denny's... open 24 hours.
Yo mama's like a shotgun, one cock and she blows.
Yo mama's like mustard, she spreads easy.
Yo mama's like the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody pokes her.
Yo mama's like a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.
Yo mama's like a goalie:  she changes her pads after three periods.
Yo mama's like Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.
Yo mama's like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.
Yo mama's like a refrigerator, everyone puts their meat in her.
Yo mama's like a gas station...  you gotta pay before you pump.
Yo mama's like a Toyota, "OOooh what a feeling!"
Yo mama's like a Toyota, "OOooh what a feeling!"
Yo mama's like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.
Yo mama's like a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.
Yo mama's like a bowling ball, you can fit three fingers in.
Yo mama's like a bowling ball, she gets picked up, fingered, thrown down the gutter, and she still comes back for more.
Yo mama's like a refrigerator, everyone puts their meat in her.
Yo mama's like a goalie:  she changes her pads after three periods.
Yo mama's like a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.
Yo mama's like a vacuum cleaner...  a real good suck.
Yo mama's like a bus, guys climb on and off her all day long.
Yo mama's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
 

YO MAMA'S SO...

Yo mama's so bald, her hair looks like stitches.
Yo mama's so bald, she curls her hair with rice.
Yo mama's so baldheaded, when she showers she gets brainwashed.
Yo mama's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
Yo mama's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
Yo mama's so big, she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
Yo mama's so big, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
Yo family's so black, when they hold hands, it looks like a stretch limo.
Yo mama's so black, when you go swimming it looks like an oil spill.
Yo mama's so black, she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
Yo mama's so black, she bleeds smoke.
Yo mama's so black, that lightening bugs follow her in the daytime.
Yo mama's so black, if she sat in a Jacuzzi the water would turn into coffee.
Yo mama's so black, when she puts lotion on her legs it looks like she has on leather pants.
Yo mama's so black, she went to night school and was marked absent.
Yo mama's so black, if she had a red light she'd be a beeper.
Yo mama's so clumsy, she got tangled up in a cordless phone.
Yo mama' so cross-eyed, when she has sex she thinks its a threesome.
Yo mama's so easy that when she heard Santa Claus say Ho Ho Ho she thought she was getting it three times.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
Yo mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!
Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a red dress people yell "Hey Kool-Aid Man."
Yo mama's so fat, she eats biscuits like tic tacs.
Yo mama's so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama's so fat, she went on a light diet...  As soon as it's light she starts eating.
Yo mama's so fat, when she auditioned for a part in "Indiana Jones," she got the part as the big rolling ball.
Yo mama's so fat, she broke her leg and gravy dripped out.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad.
Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes.
Yo mama's so fat, she sat on the corner and the police came & said "break it up!"
Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses blanket as a washcloth.
Yo mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a "Caution! Wide Turn" sign.
Yo mama's so fat, her college graduation picture was an aerial.
Yo mama's so fat, she shows up on radar.
Yo mama's so fat, she influences the tides.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses a hula hoop to hold up her socks.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.
Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!
Yo mama's so fat, when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo mama's so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight savings time.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Dasiy Dukes.  She has to wear Boss Hoggs.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
Yo mama's so fat, she has two stomachs:  One for meat, one for vegetables.
Yo mama's so fat, when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please."
Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got her own zip code.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Yo mama's so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button's got an echo.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't tie her own shoes.
Yo mama's so fat, when she backs up she beeps.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got her own zip code.
Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
Yo mama's so fat, when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.
Yo mama's so fat, if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd better be 50 pound test!
Yo mama's so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says "Okay."
Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.
Yo mama's so fat, they have to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.
Yo mama's so fat, when she put on some BVD's by the time they reached her waist they spelled "BouleVarD."
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to "Get the fuck off."
Yo mama's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen.
Yo mama's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out.
Yo mama's so fat, when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains."
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the beach, little kids yell "Free Willy, Free Willy."
Yo mama's so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.Yo mama's so fat, she's got Amtrak tattooed on her leg.
Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
Yo mama's so fat, she went to a Chinese Restaurant and ordered a 40oz. of gravy.
Yo mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo mama's so fat, if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group insurance!
Yo mama's so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked "Who threw that rock?"
Yo mama's so fat, they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping.
Yo mama's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.
Yo mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo mama's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.
Yo mama's so fat, when she swims, she leaves stretch marks on the swimming pool.
Yo mama's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H d.
Yo mama's so greasy, when she slid into second she ended in Detroit.
Yo mama's so greasy, she sweats Crisco.
Yo mama's so greasy, Texaco buys oil from her.
Yo mama's so greasy, she uses bacon as a band aid.
Yo mama's so grouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals.
Yo mama's so hairy, she looks like a Chia pet with a sweater on.
Yo mama's so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth.
Yo mama's so hairy, her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.
Yo mama's so hairy, she has afros on her nipples.
Yo mama's so hairy, she shaves with a weedwhacker.
Yo mama's so hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her.
Yo mama's so nasty, she made Speed Stick slow down.
Yo mama's so nasty, she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!
Yo mama's so nasty, I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
Yo mama's so nasty, she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
Yo mama's so nice she'd give me the hair off her back.
Yo mama's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mama's so old, she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the last supper.
Yo mama's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.
Yo mama's so old, her social security number is 1.
Yo mama's so old, I told her to act her age and the bitch died.
Yo mama's so old, she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo mama's so old, she used to baby-sit Jesus.
Yo mama's so old, she planted the first tree at Central Park.
Yo mama's so old, when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.
Yo mama's so old, when God said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.
Yo mama's so old, when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo mama's so old, when she reads the bible she reminisces.
Yo mama's so old, she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.
Yo mama's so old, she's got Jesus' beeper number.
Yo mama's so poor, when I ring the doorbell she says "DING!"
Yo mama's so poor, she married young just to get the rice!
Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Yo mama's so poor, burglars break in and leave money.
Yo mama's so poor, they put her picture on food stamps.
Yo mama's so poor, when she heard about the last supper, she thought she ran out of food stamps.
Yo mama's so poor, your TV got 2 channels: on and off.
Yo mama's so poor, when Yo family watches TV, they go to Sears.
Yo mama's so poor, she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air-conditioning.
Yo mama's so poor, your TV got 2 channels: on and off.
Yo mama's so poor, the only time she smelled hot food was when a rich man farted!
Yo mama's so poor, she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo mama's so short, she has to cuff her underwear.
Yo mama's so short, she poses for trophies.
Yo mama's so short, she needs a ladder to pick up a dime.
Yo mama's so short, she can do backflips under the bed.
Yo mama's so skinny, I gave her a piece of popcorn and she went into a coma.
Yo mama's so skinny, she turned sideways and disappeared.
Yo mama's so skinny, she uses a Band-Aid as a maxi-pad.
Yo mama's so skinny, her nipples touch.
Yo mama's so skinny, she swallowed a meatball and thought she was pregnant.
Yo mama's so stank, she made Right Guard go left, Speed Stick slow down, and Ban come off strike.
Yo mama's so stank, that her shit is glad to escape.
Yo mama's so stank, she's like Shaquille O'Neal, she don't fake the funk!!
Yo mama's so stank, she gets sourdough yeast infections.
Yo mama's so stupid, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo mama's so stupid, when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F, and sometimes Wednesday too."
Yo mama's so stupid, she was locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
Yo mama's so stupid, she asked for a price check at the dollar store.
Yo mama's so stupid, she has 1 toe & bought a pair of flip flops.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.
Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court.
Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama's so stupid, she sat in a tree house because she wanted to be a branch manager.
Yo mama's so stupid, she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read.
Yo mama's so stupid, when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Yo mama's so stupid, when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
Yo mama's so stupid when she asked me what kinda jeans I wore, I said Guess and she said "Ah Levis?"
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown herself in a carpool.
Yo mama's so stupid, she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought meow mix was a record for cats.
Yo mama's so stupid, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept.
Yo mama's so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
Yo mama's so stupid, she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
Yo mama's so stupid, she said "what's that letter after x" and I said Y she said "Cause I wanna know".
Yo mama's so stupid, if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
Yo mama's so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill.
Yo mama's so stupid, she jumped out the window and went up.
Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged.
Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Boyz2Men was a daycare center.
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo mama's so stupid, she had Dan Quayle check her spelling.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot-out.
Yo mama's so stupid, she asked you "What is the number for 911".
Yo mama's so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.
Yo mama's so stupid, if you gave her a penny for her intelligence you'd get change.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
Yo mama's so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Yo mama's so stupid, she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said `concentrate.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying!
Yo mama's so stupid, she sat on TV & watched the couch.
Yo mama's so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get her out of 3rd grade.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
Yo mama's so stupid, at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius.
Yo mama's so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.
Yo mama's so tall, when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th.
Yo mama's so tall, she did a push-up and burned her back on the sun.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, her mama saw the afterbirth and said "Twins."
Yo mama's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breastfeed her.
Yo mama's so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie face down.
Yo mama's so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train.
Yo mama's so ugly, it makes me wish birth control is retroactive.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.
Yo mama's so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her mama!
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor smacked the wrong end.
Yo mama's so ugly, she could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!
Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.
Yo mama's so ugly, when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "rape" and they yelled "NO!"
Yo mama's so ugly, roaches go "Hi mom!"
Yo mama's so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down.
Yo mama's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween.
Yo mama's so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it.
Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
Yo mama's so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.
Yo mama's so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone.
Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the chrome off a bumper!
Yo mama's so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes.
Yo mama's so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
Yo mama's so ugly, yo dad first met her at the pound.
Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
Yo mama's so ugly, when I took her to a haunted house she came out with a paycheck.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.
Yo mama's so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.
Yo mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mama said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.
Yo mama's so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the moss off a rock!
Yo mama's so ugly, they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!
Yo mama's so ugly, you could stick her face in dough and make monster cookies.