Stool Stories

Stool Stories

True Embarassing SHIT Stories that Happened to Me!

Ahhhhhh, the wonderful world of dating......I was dating my current wife about 10 years ago and we decided to
go out to dinner at an expensive restaurant. We had a great evening filled with Surf and Turf, wine and the
perfect desert. After about 3 hours of being out, we decided to go back to her house. About half way home,
it occurred to me (via my gurgling stomach and intestines) that I had to go to the bathroom right then, right now.
Somewhat embarassed, I asked my wife to pull off of the interstate at the next exit so I could go to the bathroom
at one of the gas stations. She laughed and told me, "Come on now, I am sure you can hold it in. We are only 15
minutes from home."
Squirming in my seat, she passed the next exit....and the next and the next. Finally, I said, "If you don't pull over
now, I think I will.......", but I never finished my sentence. Feeling like a baby in diapers, I let loose and shit so bad
in my underwear that I literally rose an inch in my seat. I could feel it oozing up my ass crack to the elastic band
and was wondering how bad it was and if it managed to leave the Fruit of the Looms and stain my pants. My wife
looked at me and said with eyes as wide two china dinner plates, "You didn't. You didn't just shit in my car." Like
a scolded puppy, I replied, "I told you I needed to go bad." The stench was beginning to leave my pants and waft
through the car. She rolled down all the windows, stuck her head outthe drivers side window until we got back to her
parents house. Before we went inside, she said to me, "I can't believe we spent$180 on dinner and you shit it out that
fast. Never again will we spend that much on dinner again!" I went inside, praying her parents were downstairs in the
family room, and ran upstairs to the bathroom. I slowly removed my pants to survey the damage and found that only
the underwear could not be salvaged. The Fruit of the Looms managed to keep in the brown, loose, explosion which had
the consistency of a melted Hersheys bar left on a car dashboard on a 100 degree day (yes, without almonds). I
bunched up the underwear, pulled up my pants after wiping my ass with a roll of toilet paper and opened the bathroom
door to see if I could escape with my soiled undies. I ran down the steps to the front door and to the side of the house
to the in-law's trash cans. Tossing my brown treasure into the can, I calmly went back inside to enjoy the rest of the
evening. A few weeks later, I was at my in-laws house when my mother-in-law was talking about garbage. She mentioned
that the strangest thing happened several weeks ago. She took the garbage out to the curb and the next morning, some
critter had knocked over the can. As she was cleaning it up, she found that some "disgusting individual" left a soiled pair
of underwear on her front lawn. "Probably some high school prankster", I replied. To this day, I haven't let her know
that those stained undies belonged to me.

I was driving to Louisville, Kentucky and running late for a job interview meeting when the urge hit me that

I had to take a dump bad. I was almost to the office and decided I could make it. I arrived safe and walked

into the office, asking the receptionist where the bathroom was. She joyfully pointed me in the right direction.

I hurried down the hall, pinching my ass cheeks together, to keep it all in, when I arrived at the bathroom at the

same time as another individual. This individual had a newspaper and his morning coffee. It was going to be a

long haul for him I thought to myself. Being that it was a one toilet mens room, and it looked like I needed to go

worse than he did, he said he would come back because he had some things he needed to do. Thanking him profusely,

I entered the bathroom and locked the door. I quickly dropped my pants and underwear and commenced with a

power dump into the toilet which caused water to splash thorugh every hole which my ass didn't cover on the seat.

Standing up, I wiped down the seat and lid and thanked god I hadn't let THAT loose in my pants before this important

interview. I pulled up my pants, tucked in my shirt, washed my hands, and adjusted my tie when the gentleman who so

kindly let me in before him, arrived back to use the bathroom.

"One Minute Please!"

I said.I sprayed the Lysol to quench the stench and reached to flush the toilet. Pressing the handle on the tank, it

started to flush when something happened that stopped my heart. In slow motion, I watched helplessly as the handle

I was pushing to flush the toilet came off in mid push and went right in the toilet bowl. Could it get ANY fucking

worse? You bet it could. The metal handle was buried at the bottom of the bowl filled with water, piss, diarrhea like

shit and soiled toilet paper. Here I was in suit pants, a white dress shirt and some guy knocking on the door again saying,

"Uh, are you almost done?".

"Yes," I replied, "I will be out in a second."

Sweating, I pulled off the lid to the toilet tank and pulled up the stopper to let the water flush the toilet. It only

continued to fill the bowl with more water. I helplessly watched as the "shit soup" moved closer and closer to the top of

the bowl, getting ready to overflow. There was an urgent knock on the door again. "Hey guy, are you ok? I really need

to go."

"Uh, yeah, I will be right out." I said.

Rolling up my sleeve, I quickly stuck my arm into the vile cesspool of filth to feel around for the handle. At the bottom

of the bowl, wrapped in toilet paper and the only piece of solid shit in the toilet, was the handle, blocking the whole system.

Quickly removing the handle, but being careful to not splash around, I tossed the handle in the sink and pulled the stopper

again. SUCCESS! IT FLUSHED! I tossed the handle on the countertop and wondered how best to disinfect my arm up to

my elbow. Spying Lysol, Dial soap and Scope mouthwash on the counter, I washed my hands and arms with the liquid soap,

dumped the Scope mouthwash on each arm, working it in with my hands, and followed up with a quick burst of Lysol. I dried

my hands and was fully expecting to avoid the glare of the man who was waiting to get in. I opened the door, and saw that he

was nowhere in site and quickly ran to the office where I had my meeting.

After an additional 10 minutes of waiting, imagine my surprise when the gentleman I was meeting for the interview was the

same guy waiting to get into the bathroom. The only word related to the incident he said to me was, "Boy, you smell minty fresh!"

I don't know what it was that I ate last night, but it certainly didn't agree with me the next morning. It could have been the Bourbon

Chicken. It could have been the Starbucks Mocha Frappichino. It could have been the McDonalds Salad Shaker or the Crispy Chicken

sandwich. What ever it was, I paid for it the next morning....

I awoke at 3:35 a.m. with stomach cramps. I stumbled through the darkness into my bathroom in the masterbedroom only to barely
make it to the toilet before I let loose. I left the light off. It was a good thing. The stench and the sound of liquid hitting liquid at
100 miles per hour was enough to know it wasn't pretty. Finishing, I crawled back into bed as my wife turned to me and said, "You sick
bastard. First, you should have done that in the bathroom down the hall. Second, you should have sprayed Lysol to quench the smell. If
that smell makes it to my nose in this bed, you are a dead man." Needless to say, I quickly got out of bed and used an entire can of Fresh
Scent Lysol to mask the smell. God knows I don't wanna cross THAT woman. She hurts me when I am sleeping!

You think that was it, right? Hardly.

The alarm went off at 6:35a.m. I crawled out of bed, feeling considerably better than I did at 3:35a.m.. I hopped in my shower and
lathered up my hair. Then it hit me again. The need to blow the bottom of the bowl out. Realizing I could no longer hold it in, and not
wanting to crap in the shower, I hopped out, wet, soapy and now shivering. I sat on the seat and relaxed. I had made it. Again, my
bowels were being abused and attempting to release the vile creatures that had upset me so much. After taking THAT dump, I couldn't
possibly have anything left in my system. I was wrong.......

8:05a.m. I roll into work. I park my car and make my way to the office. Opening the office door, I realize that I need to go again.
AGAIN!!! How much shit can one colon hold?! Instead of continuing straight to my office, I headed to the nearest bathroom. Fortunately
for me, the bathroom was open. In desperation, I did not completely assess the situation, locked the door, dropped my drawers and leaned
back to let it all out. Shooting a liquid from my cheeks that burned my sphincter and ass, I looked at the toilet paper holder. It was
empty except for one and a half sheets, dangling by the glue, to the roll. Looking at the paper towel dispenser, I saw that there were no
paper towels either. I thought, "What the hell do we pay the fucking janitors for?!?" The trash can, however was overflowing with used
papertowels. What was a guy to do who had just squirted out liquid fire which splashed his ass, the sides of the toilet and toilet seat?
You got it. I reach over and drag the trash can to me. I managed to get a few of the lesser used paper towels to wipe my ass.

Already tender from the abuse my poor hole had taken from the acidic liquid stool, but not thinking at the moment, I placed the paper
towel between the cheeks and wiped. JESUS CHRIST....paper towels, the industrial kind, are COARSE! I thought I had died and saw God!
My eyes welled up with tears as I gasped in utter pain. A bright flash of white light hit me and I was almost certain I would look at the
paper towel and see blood. Relief. I hadn't broken skin. I pampered my ass with the last used paper towel and pulled up my pants. I
flushed the vile bile down the toilet and washed my hands. I opened the door and made my way, slowly, to my office patting the back of my
co-workers with a hearty "Good Morning!" as I dried my hands on their shirts. Life doesn't get much better than that!

Back to the Main Index Page

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws