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To: Cork Bowl Public Relations It's a sad day for Cork Bowl that Kirby Newell is retiring. The Flat Rock Rocket was the best player I ever intimidated. He was, frankly, the only player who belonged on the field with me most of the time. When one of us would "occassionally" take a play off, so would the other. We both knew that to dominate when the other wasn't trying just wasn't worth the effort. I mean, where's the challenge in that? Who else could ever stop us? Williamson? Greg? Tomlinson?..........Sorry, I think I just pulled my ribcage laughing. Yeah, Tomlinson....And he's the only player good enough for me to get into a pre-game and a 'during-game' altercation with.Those moments are now among the highlights of Cork Bowl history. Anyway, for that reason among many others I don't ever want anybody else to wear Flat Rock 2. Only someone worthy of the jersey should wear it, and I decline out of respect so that pretty much leaves no one. There have been rumors of imposters trying to steal the glory of Flat Rock 2, but that won't happen on my watch. All you wannabes have been warned. I have also heard rumblings that I'm a player in the decline. To which I say, bring it. Two years ago I fought thru a brutal illness and played anyway. My numbers were down. But my team won. I produced what was needed to put a victory on the board. Last year my numbers were down again. Why you may ask? Well you just have to reread the opening paragraph to see. The letdown of Kirb being out of Cork Bowl X had a marked effect on my performance (I even petitioned to have it called Cork Bowl 9.5 because it couldn't be Cork Bowl X without him. That petition was refused). I'm not happy about that, but it happened. Now that he's retired, I'm going out this year to dominate for him. And that's bad news for the other team........ Chris Cork |