The Latest Headlines from Cork Bowl
12
Tony Cork Eyes Return to Field
August 9th – It’s been nearly 4 years since Tony Cork stepped foot onto the Corklestick Park football field to play, and his retirement may be coming to an end. “I think I’m ready to play again,” remarked the 50-something Cork. “Now that I don’t have to wear glasses anymore, there’s no reason for me not to be out there.” Cork had eye surgery last year and no longer needs to wear corrective lenses.
Cork retired for the second time following Cork Bowl 8 and the subsequent rematch game, but feels ready to return to action. “I don’t think Mrs. C will go for it,” commented fellow retiree and broadcast partner Kirby Newell. “She’ll put her foot down and not let him play. We all know who wears the pants in that family!”
Although Cork claims he retired out of fear of breaking his spectacles, the rest of the league isn’t buying it. They believe the real reason was the numerous injuries he suffered in his final games in 1998. “I know he hurt his ribs in CB 8 and had to wear rib pads for the rematch,” remarked son Patrick. “He was also bothered mightily by a brutal shin injury he suffered in Cork Bowl 8. We all thought he had hurt his knee, but he made it quite clear that it was “a shin, not a knee!!!”.” Kevin Ryan has played the past several seasons with glasses and has proven it can be done.
Cork had a phenomenal game in Cork Bowl 8 setting a number of passing records that have yet to be broken. His 51 completions (on 81 attempts) is still a record as are his 18 touchdown tosses he threw in the Lemurs 142-126 victory. Since that memorable game, Cork has been in the broadcast booth for the past 3 games where he was joined by Kirby Newell for Cork Bowl 10. “He’s really had an outstanding career,” added Patrick. “Although his playing time has been really spotty. He’s never played back-to-back years so it’s interesting to think what kind of numbers he could have put up.” Despite only playing in 3 Cork Bowls, Cork ranks third on the all-time passing list with 65 completions on just 108 attempts (a success rate of 60%). He is also third with 23 touchdowns and has thrown just 2 interceptions. “He’s undoubtedly the most accurate passer the game has ever seen,” said Patrick. “He never cost him teams possessions by making bad throws. I’d love to see him return to the field if he can stay healthy for the whole game because he, Chris and I are so in-sync that it makes the game a blast. I don’t know if management is willing to take the risk though.”
Cork Bowl 12 is tentatively scheduled to take place on Saturday, December 14th at 11:35 a.m.
One Man Rush Rule to be Enforced
September 9th – Over the past few years, Cork Bowl has strayed away from the "one-man rush rule". This year, however, it will be enforced. "We've had the rule in place since we began this game, and not until recently have we had problems with it," remarked Commissioner Patrick Cork. "The past couple of years the games have seemed to slow a bit, and we felt the need to re-emphasize this rule beginning with this year's game."
The official rules of Cork Bowl state: "The defense is allowed to blitz one player immediately following the snap, however, if a defender is going to rush the passer he must start his rush from at least 3 yards away from the line of scrimmage." Over the past couple of years, teams have taken advantage of bringing two blitzers, and nothing was done. The rule was created in the early stages of Cork Bowl to further encourage throwing the ball every play, since there are no run plays in Cork Bowl. "Everybody knows this is a throwing man's game," added Commissioner Cork. "The greatest games have taken place when each team put the ball in the air 75+ times. We had way too many plays last year where the quarterback had to tuck the ball and run, and it was apparent that the fans didn't enjoy last year's game as much as previous years. Our ratings were down a bit last winter, and we are bound and determined not to let them slide again. One of the things that makes Cork Bowl so great is that everyone is involved on every play. Blocking should not be a staple of Cork Bowl."
A number of players have shown the ability to get tremendous pressure on the quarterback in the past coming on a one-man rush (namely Josh Williamson and Greg Howard), so the game itself will not be changed at all from what fans are accustomed to seeing. "The rule was discussed in length at the September 5th meeting of the Cork Bowl Rules Committee and we decided to make a public statement regarding it," added Cork.
In other news, the team of Patrick Cork, Chris Cork, Tony Cork, Josh Williamson and Kevin Ryan have also gone public with their team name. They will known as the "Meerkats".
Cork Bowl 12 is scheduled to take place on Saturday, December 14th.
Truitt Brothers Announce Team Name
September 24th - Team Truitt (Willy and Reggie, Jeff Henney, Greg Howard and Ryan Tomlinson), has decided to go with the name of "Hartebeests" a team spokesperson recently reported. The Hartebeest is an African relative of the antelope. It is believed that they will dawn the colors of black and grey. Those are all the team developments to report at this moment, but it is believed that Willy Truitt will once again serve as offensive coordinator, while brother Reggie will assume defensive responsibilities for the 2nd year in a row. Team scouts have invested in PS2's for all team members, so that they can fine-tune their moves and routes.
Cork Bowl 12 is scheduled to take place on Saturday, December 14th at Corklestick Park.
Tomlinson Arrested for Slamming Guard with Bike
September 26th - Just two days after Minnesota Vikings wide receiver Randy Moss was arrested for pushing a traffic officer a block with his car, Cork Bowl wideout Ryan Tomlinson slammed his bicycle into a crossing guard near Collinsville Elementary School in Collinsville, Illinois. Tomlinson, who has been the object of much criticism over his Cork Bowl career was biking near the school when the crossing guard ordered him to stop so some children could cross the street. Tomlinson ignored the warning and flattened the 72 year old woman with his bike, but did not leave the scene. He was arrested by Collinsville police at the scene and was released on several misdemeanor charges including not obeying a uniformed officer and failure to obey school zone safety. "We hope this is an isolated incident," remarked Commissioner Patrick Cork. "We don't need Cork Bowl being tarnished - especially by Tomlinson." Tomlinson was unavailable for comment and did not return any messages left at his home.
Cork Bowl 12 is scheduled to take place on Saturday, December 14th at Corklestick Park.
Tomlinson's Lawyer Defends Client
September 26th - In regards to Mr. Tomlinson's alleged attack on a crossing guard in front of Collinsville Elementary, Mr. Tomlinson would like to say that he is innocent of all charges. The events that conspired were sensationalized in the media and grossly misunderstood. While biking near his home, Mr. Tomlinson, who hopes to someday be an elementary school teacher, was provoked by Miss Archer a 72 year old crossing guard.
In response to the criticism Mr. Tomlinson had this to say: "She came at me. For 72 she could move. I'm not sure why she would want to go after an innocent biker, but she seemed to be a bitter old woman. There weren't even children around. I would never harm a child. The real trick, however, was how she played it off when the ambulance arrived, wailing and carrying on. She attacked me! I think she is just trying to collect insurance money. Randy Moss may have plenty of money, but I'm a poor college student." Tomlinson added, "I feel bad about the whole situation - that a little old woman has to resort to such measures. What's wrong with our society?" The matter is being looked into very seriously, and the outcome will no doubt turn out in favor of Mr. Tomlinson. Mr. Tomlinson would also like to apologize for any negative impact on Cork Bowl, the game that he loves.
-Justin Massey Mr. Tomlinson's Legal Representation
Cork Bowl 12 is scheduled to take place on Saturday, December 14th at Corklestick Park.
Meerkats With New Look
on Offense
October 4th - With the impact that the
"West Coast" offense has had on the National Football League over the past
decade, it was only a matter of time until a similar passing attack found
it's way into Cork Bowl. "The NFL has proven to be a breeding ground for
new offensive and defensive schemes," remarked Meerkat captain Patrick
Cork. "However, as well as those game plans worked, nothing will impact
the game of football quite as much as this new offense."
Once Tony Cork announced his un-retirement in early August, the Meerkat
coaching staff began working feverishly on a scheme that would be tailored
to Coach Cork's abilities. Thus became the "Old Coast Offense". "I can't
go i Although no details were obtained, many believe the offense will have a
greater balance than last year's approach in which Patrick Cork set a
record for receptions with 24. "If I catch 24 passes this year," remarked
Patrick. "Then the offense is not doing what it's designed to do." Having
been out of the league for 3 years, there is no telling what to expect
from Tony Cork behind center, which leads many observers to believe the
offense was adapted to take the pressure of Cork and place it more on the
receivers. Critics believe that putting the game in the hands of
Williamson and Ryan may not be the best thing to do, however the Meerkats
are confident they have found a way to spread the ball around and march
down the field. Since Meerkat practices have all been shut off to the
media, noone can get an accurate read on what the "Old Coast Offense"
consists of other than the vague remarks that have been reported from the
Meerkat players.
"We all know that Tony Cork doesn't have the strongest arm in the
world," added co-author of the offense Chris Cork. "But we also realize
that he is one of the most accurate passers when given the time. Since his
mobility is somewhat suspect, we decided to design two completely
different playbooks for the game. One is set up in the event that they
decide to blitz and provide pressure. The other will work if they choose
to drop back in coverage. We plan to use both extensively depending on
what the Hartebeests decide to do. We're going to allow them to pick their
poison. Either way, by the end of the first quarter, chances are they'll
be demoralized as a defensive unit and won't know what to do."
Cork Bowl 12 is scheduled to take place on Saturday, December 14th at
Corklestick Park. 
nto details," remarked Patrick who is one of the offense's co-authors.
"But with Coach's medium-ranged arm strength, we had to find a unique way
to create mismatches in their secondary, get the receivers the ball
consistently and move the chains. The Old Coast Offense does just that.
The personnel we have this year with the two tight ends (Josh Williamson
and Kevin Ryan) played a huge factor in the way we designed the offense to
work. That's all I'll say about it though."
10 Burning Questions for Cork Bowl Announcer Eric Dean
October 7th - In the fall of 1995, Eric Dean was the first person to announce an entire Cork Bowl contest. Due to an outpouring of Cork Bowl fan support, the media wing of the Cork Bowl Hall of Fame was dedicated in Dean's name in 1998. Dean has been away from the game for 6 years now, but will be making his triumphant return to the broadcast booth this winter for Cork Bowl 12. Eric recently sat down with our local beat writer for a question and answer session.
1. In the 6 years since you last announced Cork Bowl, what have you missed the most about the game?
ED: I HAVE JUST MISSED BEING AT THE GAME AND HAVING THE BEST SEAT IN THE HOUSE. I KNOW A LOT HAS CHANGED IN 6 YEARS AND I'M EXCITED ABOUT RETURNING TO THE 'OL STOMPING GROUNDS AND CALLING A GOOD GAME
2. Did you ever envision when you were the first to announce a game back in 1995 that the media side of Cork Bowl would explode into what it is today with the hour-long pregame shows, the enormous webpage, Robinson Daily News coverage, etc.?
ED: I'M REALLY NOT SURPRISED. I KNEW IT WAS A BIG THING BACK THEN, I'M JUST HAPPY TO BE A PART OF IT ALL!
3. You were there when the rivalry between Chris and Kirby hit it’s boiling point during the Cork Bowl 5 pregame show. Describe the intensity that those guys had at the time, and how much not having Kirby Newell on the field has effected the game.
ED: WELL IT GOT PRETTY UGLY THAT DAY, AND I'M NOT JUST TALKING ABOUT KIRBY! IT WAS 2 FIERCE COMPETITORS SHOWING THE WORLD THE SPIRIT OF COMPETITION.
4. The game has changed tremendously since you were last around in Cork Bowl 5. What are you most excited about seeing, and what has surprised you the most about the game since you last saw a game in person?
ED: I REALLY MISS THE FANS. THERE IS SUCH EXCITEMENT COMING OUT OF THE TUNNEL, SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS AND JUST MINGLING WITH THE AVERAGE JOE IN THE CROWD. WHAT HAS SURPRISED ME THE MOST IS THAT BRANDON BOYD IS NO LONGER IN THE GAME.
5. If Kirby Newell is not able to join you in the booth, the game will lack the high entertainment value that he has brought to announcing over the past 2 years. Will you take over his role of bashing other players and trying to make Coach Cork look bad?
ED: WELL, PART OF MY DUTY IS CALLING THE GAME AS I SEE IT. THAT DOES NOT ALWAYS MAKE THE PLAYERS HAPPY, BUT I DO HAVE A DUTY TO THE FANS AT HOME. HONESTLY, I FEEL THAT KIRB BEING QUESTIONABLE IS A BUNCH OF CRAP. HE ALWAYS ACTED HURT OR WAS LISTED AS QUESTIONABLE WHEN HE PLAYED....HE'S JUST SEEKING ATTENTION.
6. If you could have any other person join you in the booth on December 14th, who would it be and why?
ED: MIKE TYSON. I THINK THE REASON WHY IS OBVIOUS.
7. The only other game you announced, there was 3 inches of snow on the ground, the temperature was hovering around 10 degrees and the wind was blowing about 30 mph. Being in December this time, can you envision the same type of conditions?
ED: OH LORD I HOPE NOT.
IT WAS VERY COLD UP IN THAT BOOTH. I'M NOT COMPLAINING, BUT I TRULY
HOPE THAT WEATHER CONDITIONS ARE DECENT.
8. As for the game itself, with the three Corks all on the
same team for the first time since they teamed up for a win in Cork Bowl
8, do you think that the Hartebeests will be able to slow down the
Meerkats’ offense?
ED: IT CERTAINLY IS POSSIBLE!
I AM VERY INTERESTED IN SEEING HOW THE ELDER CORK HOLDS UP. I THINK
HE IS THE KEY TO THE MEERKATS' SUCCESS.
9. The Hartebeests obviously have the advantage of team speed
with Reggie, Henney and Greg Howard. How do you expect the Meerkats to
counter that on defense? Do you think they’ll have to pressure Willy
Truitt to win the game?
ED: I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT
CORK BOWLS WERE WON BY THE TEAM THAT MAKES THE FEWEST MISTAKES. I
DON'T NECESSARILY THINK THAT PUTTING PRESSURE ON THE QB IS AS KEY AS NOT
MISSING TACKLES. IT WILL BE FUN TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
10. The biggest question surrounding this year’s game is
whether Tony Cork, who will be 55 at the time, will be able to last the
entire game. In your opinion, can Tony Cork get the job done?
ED: I HAVE NO DOUBTS THAT HE CAN HOLD UP. I JUST HOPE THE REST OF YOU YOUNG PUPS CAN HANG WITH HIM.
I have one final statement concerning Cork Bowl:
I am honored to be back in the booth for this year's game. It was such a special day for me when I learned that the broadcaster's wing was being named after me. It is a moment that I was happy to be able to share with my family. Just being back in that old booth will be very special for me. I am dedicating my broadcast to the late Jack Buck. He taught me everything I know about broadcasting and I know that the tears will be flowing when I put the headset back on. I wish all of the competitors the best of luck in this year's Cork Bowl.
Hartebeests Lose Defensive Playbook
October 10th - While vacationing somewhere south of here and north of Mexico, defensive coordinator Reggie Truitt misplaced and lost the Hartebeest defensive playbook. This is very important because it has premature schemes and random notes written down in it. The Hartebeest front offices are ready to appropriately reward anyone who can find the playbook. While Reggie was upset with the realization that he lost the playbook, he insisted that it wasn't the end of the world, adding, "Everyone knows that the key to stopping the Meerkats is no secret." Then adding, "I was more worried when I realized that I lost the engagement ring in the airport."
Team captain, and last year's Rookie of the Year & MVP Jeff Henney, could not be reached for comment.
Offensive coordinator and QB Willy Truitt was not at all surprised by his elder brother's mistake. He noted that Reggie is always leaving stuff laying around, and is, at times, forgetful. Mother Truitt stated "Yes, that's Reggie for you. I remember one time when he left Willy in downtown Flat Rock all by himself, and that was when all the riots were going on - when they decided to consolidate the school. I could have about died. I mean downtown Oblong is one thing, but Flat Rock? I don't know how he made it out alive."
Moles Return to Corklestick Park
October 14th - For the many fans that were in attendance for Cork Bowl 11, they all remember how a particular rodent wreaked havoc on the rain-drenched field last December. A mole tried to turn Cork Bowl into "Mole Bowl" by burrowing tunnels across the field just days before the game, and when the rain continued to fall throughout the week, the field turned into a virtual minefield with holes scattered across the south end of the stadium turf. "Our groundskeeper, Cody Cork. didn't do a very good job last year," remarked Commissioner Patrick Cork. "And it looks like he's dropped the ball again." As a few of the Meerkats visited Corklestick to take part in a non-contact practice over the weekend, mole tunnels were scattered across the field once again. "We have two months to get this field back to top playing condition," added Patrick. "It's bad enough that there is no grass on the field, and now we have to deal with the moles again? It's unacceptable. We never had this problem before we hired Cody as the groundskeeper."
The mole was unavailable for comment.
Hartebeests Acquire "Hired Gun" for Security
October 17th - Due to increased media hype and fanatics, the Hartebeest front offices have deemed it necessary to hire a proven security advisor. Dustin Waldrop, of Charleston, Illinois, has been added to the championship staff. As a force in chair baseball, Waldrop is happy to be involved in Cork Bowl as well. "This gives me a chance to stay active, and work in a winning environment," stated Waldrop. "I really couldn't ask for anything else." Waldrop was contacted by Hartebeest team representative Dave Meggett because he was bored and couldn't find a 'fourth' for a round of golf.
One of the players Waldrop will be responsible for protecting will be Greg Howard. When contacted by whoever is writing this, Mr. Howard was confused and offended, mentioning "Security? I've got two guns right here! Why would Greg Howard need security?" He urgently contacted Hartebeest front offices, and they explained to him the importance of keeping him away from crowds of people. Greg agreed, stating "Yeah I know how those little boys can be." Ryan Tomlinson immediately had no comment.
Contacts:
Sally Struthers
Hartebeest Front Offices
(217) 654-1314
emial: [email protected]
Weekly Update from Cork Bowl
October 24th - Not a whole lot of action as far as news goes, but the trash-talk finally got started this past week with Greg Howard, Chris Cork, Patrick Cork and Willy Truitt all exchanging words. As for as on-the-field news goes, the field still has no grass on it, and has recently been ripped apart by the groundskeeper. Apparently Cody Cork didn't take too kindly to the questioning of his work, and went ballistic on the field ripping up a trail across the turf trying to catch the mole. He did not catch the mole, however he did leave a nice ditch running across the field. The league is currently accepting applications for anyone that can catch and dispose of a mole.
On the injury front, only one injury has been reported for each team. For the Meerkats, Patrick Cork has been suffering with a very sore back for the past week and a half, but hopes to have it in top condition by December 14th. For the Hartebeests, Greg Howard reported a strained big toe but said he will start and he should be 100% come game-time. No other injuries were reported.
Eric Dean is very excited about returning to the booth for this year's game, and it is still up in the air whether or not Kirby Newell will be joining him. If Newell does not join Dean in the booth, the members of the league plan to chip in and buy him a Doug Christie jersey. Also, it has just been reported that Jake Hoalt, current Robinson High School cross country runner, will be this year's cameraman. Hoalt will take over for the Massey clan who has been filming Cork Bowls since 1994. A feature article on Hoalt will be posted in the near future.
Jake Hoalt Ready to Replace Legends
October 31st - It’s been
nearly 8 years since a Cork Bowl was played without a Massey present, but
Jake Hoalt feels that there will be no drop-off in performance. “The Masseys have set the bar extremely high,” commented
Hoalt. “But I feel I can
perform at the same level. Heck,
all I have to do is hold a camera for a couple hours, right?”
After Cork
Bowl 5, Massey later worked Cork Bowl 6, and then played in Cork Bowl 7.
“Not to take anything away from him, because he meant a lot to
this game, but Justin did a much better job behind the camera than he did
on the field,” commented longtime friend Ryan Tomlinson.
He should actually thank Justin because Tomlinson’s only
impressive outing came that year when he was matched up against Massey.
“Justin was the best cameraman this game has ever seen, no
doubt,” added Patrick Cork. “But
his brother Josh filmed a heckuva game too.”
Cork Bowl 8
featured the one-hit wonder Kaleb Culver behind the camera, but he was
ousted the following year by Justin’s younger brother, Josh Massey, who
took over for three years for Cork Bowls 9, 10 and 11.
“I never thought there would be another filmer as good as Justin,
but I think Josh really gave him a run for his money,” remarked Greg
Howard. “We’re sure gonna
miss that family.” Justin
and Josh combined to win 6 “Golden Camera” awards over their filming
careers. (The “Golden
Camera” award is given for the best filming of an amateur sporting event
and is awarded annually).
Hoalt, a sophomore cross-country runner at Robinson High School, feels that replacing the Masseys could help build his own legacy in Cork Bowl lore. “We all know the Masseys were not famous before they got involved in Cork Bowl,” added Hoalt. “Now they’re practically legends. Just to be a part of the whole experience is great.” Hoalt is not making his first trip to Corklestick Park. He was a regular on the field this past summer in chair baseball, and actually posted the top ERA for pitchers that totaled 30 or more innings. “Chair baseball is one thing,” added Hoalt. “Cork Bowl is a whole new level. I’m excited and can’t wait for December 14th.”
Where Are They Now - Steve "Colonel" Sanders
November 5th - He became a Cork Bowl cult hero when he burst on the scene just two
years ago, but now Steve Sanders is out of the game...for now.
"I haven't retired," remarked Sanders. "I'm just
taking a brief leave of absence." After a pair of tough Cork
Bowl defeats, Sanders has taken his talent elsewhere, and by elsewhere I
mean China. During the summer of 2002, Sanders began training for a
2-year trip to China. Working through ELIC (English Language
Institute of China), Sanders spent this summer preparing to teach English to students in
China. He left for China at the end of summer. ELIC has been placing men and women across Asia for 21
years, to share the hope that is in them and teach Asian students the
English language
. "There are a lot of things I really miss
about being back home," added Sanders. "And near the top
of that list is playing in Cork Bowl."
Sanders burst onto the scene in Cork Bowl 10 when he was
hand-picked by Commissioner Patrick Cork to replace the injured Kirby
Newell. "It's always a risk when you pick up a player that you
don't know much about," commented the Commissioner. "But
there's no doubt that we made the right choice when we added the
"Colonel". It's a shame that his honeymoon with Cork Bowl
only lasted two years." In Sanders' debut, he led the Gophers
in receptions with 15 receptions and scored 3 touchdowns. His
interception return for a touchdown late in the 4th quarter nearly brought
the Gophers all the way back, but they ultimately fell to the Bushdogs
126-112. In that game, Sanders was 2-for-2 with a touchdown
throwing the ball, which set him up to start for the Ermine under center
in Cork Bowl 11. "He showed in Cork Bowl 10 what he could do
throwing the ball," replied Chris Cork. "He deserved to
get the start last year."
In Cork Bowl 11, Sanders actually outperformed Willy Truitt of the Bandicoots going 41-for-74 with 14 touchdowns (compared to Truitt's 41-for-77 with 13 TD's), however, his 6 interceptions were too much for the Ermine to overcome as they fell by a score of 114-98. "The way he was hounded all game, it's amazing that he put up the numbers that he did," added Patrick. "There is no other quarterback to ever play this game that could have put up those stats with the pressure he was under all game. Noone. If a couple fluke plays don't happen, we'd be talking about one of the best games ever by a quarterback."
Sanders ranks 4th all-time in completions (43) and is tied for 13th in receptions (15). That was good enough for him to be granted a lifetime exemption from the Commissioner before he left for China allowing him to return to the field if, and when, he decides to. "We don't give out many of those," added Commissioner Cork. "Steve is a special player and exemplifies what this great game is all about. His class and character were as much a reason for his exemption as his play." Sanders leaves behind a number of fans as well who were disappointed to not see his name listed on this year's rosters. "He was my favorite player," remarked emotional long-time Cork Bowl fan Akeya Harper. "I've been coming to Cork Bowls for three years now and the 'Colonel' was my all-time favorite. I don't know what I'll do this year without him on the field."
November 14th - This Date In Cork Bowl History - Brian Garrard
November 14th, 1992 is a day that Cork Bowl historians will never forget. Cork Bowl 2 is not remembered so much for being the first game ever caught on videotape, but instead it marked the final game of one of Cork Bowl's founding fathers. 10 years ago today, on that fateful Saturday afternoon, those in attendance witnessed Brian Garrard's final game on the Corklestick field. "It's truly a shame that his career was cut short," commented former teammate Chris Cork. "There's no telling how different the record books would look today had it not been for that freak injury."
The play, as everyone around Cork Bowl knows, has been replayed hundreds of times over the years, seeming almost to take place in slow motion. It started innocently enough as Chris Cork took the snap and rolled to his right looking for brother Patrick down the sideline. When nothing was there, he checked down to Garrard who had broken open on the far side of the field. Cork's pass floated a bit, but was hauled in by Garrard who immediately made a dash for the endzone. Reggie Truitt, playing in his first ever Cork Bowl, had the angle on Garrard and made a sprawling tackle on the sideline. "It seemed innocent enough when it first happened," added Truitt's teammate Brooks Wilson. "But when he didn't get right up, we all knew something was wrong. It takes a lot to shake Brian Garrard up. We were definitely concerned."
Garrard laid stunned on the field for several minutes before helped to the sideline, where he would stay for the rest of the first half. Moments later, the report on the injury was revealed to the public - Brian Garrard had suffered a chipped tooth. "I'll never forget the devastation when I found out what had happened," commented Patrick Cork. "Being in just my second game, you look up to the veterans like Garrard and hate to see something like that happen to one of them. The amazing thing is that he actually played some in the second half."
Garrard, in fact, did play the majority of the second half, however, he was not the same player that had competed earlier. "The doctors didn't want me to go back in," replied Garrard. "They told me I was risking my future outside of football, but I wasn't going to go out like that. I knew at that point it was going to be my last game, and I wanted to make sure I went out on my own terms." Garrard finished Cork Bowl 2 with just 2 receptions in the game, neither coming after the injury. "The mere fact that he was on the field and playing after getting hurt shows what kind of player Brian Garrard was," remarked retired center Brandon Boyd. "He was a trooper, plain and simple."
"As many folks know, after that injury, I retired," added Nick Stephens. "I didn't want what happened to Brian to happen to me too." Garrard remains the only person in Cork Bowl's 12-year history to miss significant time in a game due to injury. "There have been a number of banged up players, but nobody has suffered like he did that day," added Patrick Cork. "It still amazes me that he finished the game." His grey sweatshirt was retired into the Hall of Fame following that year's game, however, Garrard is still waiting to hear from the league on his potential induction into the Cork Bowl Hall of Fame. "For the past ten years, every time the phone rings I think it might be the call I've been waiting for over all these years," added Garrard. "It hasn't happened yet, but I have faith in this league. As more time goes by, I think the things I brought to the game are being missed more and more. My time will come, and when it does, all the waiting will have been worthwhile."
Parity Reigns Supreme in Cork Bowl
November 21st - Much like the NFL of the past several years, Cork Bowl has shown an amazing level of parity over the past 6 seasons. Following a blowout game in Cork Bowl 5 that featured the Wombats running rampant over the Big Horned Sheep by a final score of 130-77, the league decided that things needed to change in order for Cork Bowl to have a long life. "It was not an easy decision to make," recalls Commissioner Patrick Cork. "When you have been doing something for 5 years, you hate to step in and change the whole foundation of it, but looking back it was the best decision we ever made."
Following the Cork Bowl 5 massacre, the league decided to implement a strict salary cap. The effect of the cap was not full force immediately as the Muskrats (virtually identical to the Wombat team of Cork Bowl 5) dominated Cork Bowl 6 behind the efforts of Patrick Cork, Kirby Newell and Chad Veenstra 168-147. However, the following year, in Cork Bowl 7, the ramifications were far greater. "You hate to break up a dynasty like we had, but there was no other option," remarked Kirby Newell. "We just couldn't afford to keep Chad around, and management thought the best long term answer was for me and Patrick to stay put." For the first time in his Cork Bowl career, Newell suffered a defeat in Cork Bowl 7. Despite taking a huge halftime lead, his Geckos wilted down the stretch and fell 149-133. That 16-point differential is the highest Cork Bowl has seen since 1997.
"The teams are just so evenly matched every year that nobody can take complete control of a game and pull away," added Tony Cork. "There have been so many lead changes in the past few years and it puts so much pressure on the teams, that every possession could determine the game. Even if one team gets up 2 or 3 scores, the other guys always seem to come back and tie it up. I think it's great what the league has done to even the playing field." In fact, since Cork Bowl 7, the average contest has been decided by less than 14 points (13.8 to be exact). "It's been a long time since a game was decided going into the 4th quarter," replied Patrick Cork. "In fact, most of the games haven't been decided until the final minute or two. No fan can be disappointed by the competitiveness of any of the games. It's hard to see how the teams of the past 5 or 6 years could be any more evenly matched, and the product that has been put on the field has been second to none. We've come a long way in 12 years."
The salary cap has never been more evident than in the past off-season. After leading the Bandicoots in receptions and touchdowns in Cork Bowl 11, Kevin Ryan was not re-signed in order for the team to lock up rookie sensation Jeff Henney for another season. "Kevin was huge for us," commented Willy Truitt. "But we had to look to the future. When you get down to it, this is a business." Having lost superstar Steve Sanders from last year's Ermine squad, the Meerkats were able to bring in not only Kevin Ryan, but also veteran signal caller Tony Cork. "Them having cap problems couldn't have been timed any better for us," added Patrick. "We lose the Colonel and not only get another quarterback to replace him, but also a proven tight end in Kevin. Not only that, but because he didn't play last year, we were able to sign Williamson for much less than his market value. We are one superstar short this year, but our depth is much better than it has been in the past."
The fans of Cork Bowl have benefited significantly by the cap regulations. There is no telling who is going to win year in and year out, and the games have never been stronger. "You show up not knowing who is favored every year," remarked long-time fan Akeya Harper. "For those of us that travel long distances, it's great to know you'll get an entire 100 minutes of football and not a blowout. Two of the three games I've attended have come down to the very last play to determine a winner. What more can you ask for as a fan?"
Henney Engaged, Hartebeests Fear the Worst
December 2nd - Cork Bowl 11 MVP and Rookie of the Year Jeff Henney was engaged the day before Thanksgiving, and the Hartebeests are concerned about their chances of taking home a Cork Bowl 12 championship. "We're definitely worried," commented Hartebeest quarterback Willy Truitt. "Everyone knows the history with relationships and Cork Bowl."
Excluding Tony Cork (who is the exception to many rules), love in a player's life has not been a good thing for past Cork Bowl players. In Cork Bowl 5, Brooks Wilson became the first married man to ever play in a Cork Bowl. Although Wilson caught 13 passes that day, he only had 2 touchdowns and became the first player to ever have a reception that went for a safety. Oh yeah, his team was blasted 130-77. 6 years later, just last year, Patrick Cork became the 2nd married player to compete in a Cork Bowl. The results were eerily similar as Patrick's team fell 114-98. "Cork Bowl is hard enough to play without outside distractions," added retiree Kirby Newell. "Then you bring this life changing experience into the equation and the results are usually disastrous."
Although Henney won't be married for the game, there is little doubt that he will be thinking of that special someone come game day. "Speaking from experience, it's hard to focus on the task at hand," commented Patrick Cork. "Sure I had a good individual game, but your teammates look at you a little differently and wonder if you're 100% there mentally. That wears on the team's psyche as the game goes on, and can play a huge factor in the 4th quarter."
Somewhere in Texas, the future Mrs. Henney will be watching the game on pay-per-view hoping that the outcome will be different this year. Upon hearing the news, the odds for the game went from 13 1/2 in favor of the Hartebeets all the way down to 6 1/2.
