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| I was born September 15th, 1985, and I first accepted Christ into my life 15 years later. You know, it's actually quite scary to think of what I was before that, but this is a testimony, and you need to know. Nobody else in my family is a Christian. I never went to Sunday school except with the occasional invite from a friend. All I ever did there was roll my eyes through the teaching and once in a while, make a few crosses out of popsicle sticks and sheep out of cotton balls. The teachings just never hit me. Granted, I wasn't a bad kid, I just was filled with a strong hatred for the people who made my life hard. It wasn't until I moved from Dallas, Texas, to a very small town in North Dakota, that I even really thought about God. A few years after the move, my parents got divorced. A year later, my dad remarried a women I hardly knew. I dove into an unbelieveably deep depression through the whole ordeal. I thought about suicide constantly. What did I have to live for? What was the point? A friend of mine bought me a bible and told me to read it whenever I felt down. She said that God cared about me and loved me so much. I pushed her away. If God really cared about me, why was He doing this to me? Why did He ruin my life? I was so lost. I had given up on my family and friends. I had given up on myself. I had given up on God. A few days later, I would have to say, was my worst day of my life. Nothing was going right. My grades were slipping fast, and my mom said that I had to move in with my dad, away from all of my friends. My dad didn't want me. This pushed me over the edge. I went into my room and looked for something, anything, to just end all the pain. I furiously tore up my room in my search. That's when I ran into my bookshelf and my books poured out onto the floor. My bible was open to Job. God told me to read it. So I did. Job just spoke to me. Job was a man that didn't just say "God is good" when good things happened. He had his life turned upside down, and he said "God is good and life is hard, but God is still good." It told me that just because we don't always understand why things are happening doesn't mean God is not who He says He is. I prayed that night until the sun shone through my windows. I cried so many tears for the past that I had. I prayed for forgiveness for every wrong step I took, every bad word I said, every bit of hatred I felt for anybody. Everything I've been through has really given me a new meaning to the words "I once was lost, but now I'm found, was blind, but now I see." Music has always been a creative outlet for me, and now it's even more so. I write songs and I'm in a band that plays for services every Thursday night. I'm so glad that God never gave up on me. He's making me the person I need to be. He never did give up on me and He never will. He is my rock, my strength, my reason for living. I've been a Christian for 1 year and 56 days now, and I couldn't be happier. God really is the most awesome thing ever. Love and peace in Christ, Brianna Psalm 100:2 {home} All rights reserved. Courtesy of Patrick Levis: Our brother in Christ, 2001-2003. |
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