Yesterday I went to a dental appointment in SF for USMA. After about 45 min. to an hour on BART and bike I get there and wait for half an hour only to be informed that their x-ray machine broke down and they will have to see me another day. Another 45 min. to get back. Two hours down the drain. I had a medical appointment today (USMA again) and scheduled the dental appointment for Thurs. I'm missing choir three times and journalism twice ó all in the same week. At least I'm not missing any of my APs.
Life can get so tiring. Especially when you're stretched beyond your limit. Although I wouldn't be stretched if I didn't spend time on frivolous activities (such as maintaining my web page).
Journalism is frustrating and a major pain the rear. The secret to survival is to keep looking to the future ó and ignoring the "current lightness of affliction."
College admissions is crazy. I'm afraid that I'm overconfident and should be applying to more less competitive schools ó in case I don't get into all of the big names I'm applying to. I should have studied more in years past and spent less time fooling around (like I'm doing now). Right now I'm not sure what it is I want to do with my life. I've narrowed it down to either engineering or liberal arts. Flip a coin.
Why is it that the people who most strongly preach tolerance are the ones who are most intolerant of other people's political possitions? Life is full of hypocracy.
I didn't go to Albany's homecoming dance, but I did go to one with a friend of mine in SF. Here is a pic from that dance. It's been a while since I've seen a picture where I looked that stupid.
I just came back on sun. from a retreat in the mountains. I love creation. The topic of the retreat was the death of Christ. It's easy to laugh, but no matter who laughs no one can tell me that God isn't real. When I call on the Lord, there is a response from within me. To quote the New Testament: "the Spirit Himself witnesses with our spirit that we are children of God." I saw how precious an event the death of Christ was. Christ didn't die the death of a marter, but of one who God had turned his back one ("my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?") God was forced to turn his back on Christ because while on the cross Christ was bearing the sins of the entire world. The righteous God could do nothing but turn away.
JournalismÖ no comment.
Chem test at 4:30. I have to go in and take it. Each day I wish more and more that I had signed up for AP Bio instead of Chem.
The Choir trip yesterday was amazing. It's so cool to sing with a group like Chantacleer (sp?). Listening to the other choirs really kicked us in the rear and forced us to get better ó and fast. A whole day spent singing left my voice a little sore ó but it was worth it. I can't wait for the trip to New York.
Got called our of Journalism today. Spent the whole period in the counseling office. Pretty cool 'cause I got to miss class.
By the way, my time stamps reflect the time I wrote the blip, not the time it was posted ó although hopefully they'll be pretty similar. For a guy who is so obsessed with not having a dated paper, I better watch it when it comes to my web site.
Johnny Cash again.
First time I shot her,
Shot her in the side.
Hard to watch her suffer ó
But with a second shot she died.
Is murder glorified in our society? Why are people so fascinated with it? Why have I just purchased a box set with one whole CD titled and dedicated to murder?
Delia's gone, one more round,
Delia's gone.
Human emotions are so irrational. They fluctuate wildly. Control is essential.
But jailer, oh jailer,
Jailer I can't sleep.
'Cause all around my bedside
I hear the patter of Delia's feet.
Regret is usually what follows murder. If anything, our conscience is one of the strongest proofs that there is God. If there was not God, then our conscience would have "evolved" out of existence. After all, how does feeling guilty help one? It doesn't ó it often causes actions that we would not do otherwise. Often an advantage can be gained from murder. Yet our God-given conscience keeps us from gaining an advantage that way.
Delia's gone, one more round,
Delia's gone.
4:28 p.m.: Run. I gotta run. Need to stay in shape. And I need to get out all of this tension that's inside of me. Johnny Cash is good at getting out the stress. I'm listening to it right now. "O bury me not (introduction: a cowboy's prayer)" is a really cool song. As I said before, there's no singer like Johnny Cash. I just bought my second box set of him. It's titled Love, God, Murder. 16 songs on each CD. Each CD has it's own subject ó one of the three. But still. Running is good. I'm sitting in the SAT testing center this morning. I was so tired, restless. My brain was wearied. And I felt exhausted only half way through the test. I just wanted to get out of that testing center. Get out of the dim lights, the electronic lights. Out of the building into the blue sky. The cool air. The green grass. Open spaces. Wide open spaces to quote the Dixie Chicks. I don't understand why they are so popular. If you want real country, listen to George Jones or somebody like that. If you want pop, listen to whoever today's pop stars are. Why listen to some strange hybrid group? I don't know why I was so tired in the testing center. I just wanted to stand up. I was afraid my brain was going to shut down. But it didn't. So I was fine. Although I won't really know that until I get my scored back.
I suppose this restlessness is only an emotion. An emotion that I need to suppress. Mind over heart. In the room I'm in there is plastic over all of the windows. I can't see out, but I know that the sky is gray. The room is all junky because of the construction. That's why the plastic is over the windows. Plastic blowing in wind I can't feel. I like a cloudy sky. It's so much better than a hot blue sky. I like to feel the cold wind blow against my face. To feel is hurling itself against my skin when I go walking in the wind. Why sing in the rain when you can walk in the wind?
I also updated my little IM log thing on emotion. It now includes a little blip on my opinion on emotions and my theory of emotional control.
The paper is finally out. It's pretty cool. (yeah right).
Johnny Cash is so cool. I really like his voice and the sound of his music, and also because when he sings it's like he's telling a story ó a story that you can believe. His songs are also very good at evoking emotion is those who can appreciate them. Most of today's popular music only evokes very base emotions like excessive pride, anger, hatred ó emotions that are all too easy to create. It takes real skill to infuse into listeners sadness, misery, depression ó a whole range of emotions that no other genre except country is able to convey.
An interesting thing happened yesterday with Folger. They were supposed to pick up the paper yesterday but since we didn't finish two days ago (they pick it up in the morning) Sumberg was supposed to call them and tell them not to come. Well, she didn't get through or something and they showed up. Scared the heck out of me in chem class. Would have been funny to send them the paper as is.
I'll post a PDF of the paper today some time between 5th and 6th periods under Items of Interest so that those who wish can take a look at it.
Speech and Debate today. And I have to go in at lunch for chem. Once again I've overscheduled my life. I think that's one of the signs of OCD. It's kind of fun, though ó comming up with creative solutions for a complete lack of time. Only problem is that it makes me appear like a flake hen I sign up for so many different things and then bail out of a bunch of them. But I didn't sign up for comming in at lunch for chem. That's Carlock's problem. Makes me irritated.
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