September 12,2003
I just got back from Washington High School, where I said good bye to a couple of teachers, including Md. Murphy, my old French teacher. It was fun talking French, given my current limited knowledge of the language (that'll change soon I hope!)
Last night I ate dinner at Cindy Diouf's house. She was a volunteer in West Africa as well. We looked at pictures of my future training site and talked about the people there. All week I've been too busy to be nervous or scared, until last night. Seeing it all in pictures and real color, my stomach suddenly flip-flopped and I think I'm nervous. No, I'm not nervous, I'm scared s***less! I don't doubt my decision to go, I'm just scared of everything new I'll be facing in the next few months. And of meeting new people and host families and leaving my family.
I'm looking around my apartment at everything I still need to do, I'm taking frequent breaks and pacing, worried about getting it all done in time. And if I don't get it all done? I still have to pack and clean out my car and sell my car. And then all these last minute bills to take care of. I won't have any money when I come back with all these bills! If only I could have 2 more weeks. But alas, if I don't leave soon I'll go insane!
I'm so excited to leave, after almost a year of waiting, I'm ready to go, and I want to leave now! Just get on with it already. And I know I'm going to forget something. I just hope it's not something important. But if it is, it's too damned late now. God,I'm going to miss everything and everyone. Fall is upon us and it's my favorite time of year. I'm going to miss buying new winter clothes and sweaters and Mom's cake, and Dr. Pepper, and Alais, and my family.
But then what fabulous new things will I learn and love? Tailor made dresses in fabrics you wouldn't believe, and being fluent in French, and peanut sauce, and Ramadan, and gris gris bags. I've just talked myself out of being scared and back into being excited.
Stayed tuned for the lastest on my emotions on all of this. Talk to you soon!