Blueprint for the first gay airline –

 

Coming Dec. 29 2004

Click here

Or call 1-866-FLY-FABU

 

Join us on this short flight of fancy as we re-design the first airline for gay men, lesbians and anyone else lucky enough to get a seat!

 

FABULAIR

 

Step back in time to a more elegant, exclusive time – join us for a flight to a gay vacation destination from our Houston home base – in a glamorous Lockheed Constellation

 

Why FABULAIR?

 

 

Gay men and women have more disposable income than most any demographic group in our society – and they know style, fashion and how to party!  Think of the number of events you can attend each year that require you to travel –

 

  Decedance

  Gray Party

  White Party

  HRC annual ball

  Political conventions

  Ptown

  Hotlanta

  Fantasy Fest

  Aftershock

  Mardi Gras

  Gay Pride

 

We give our money to airlines that have begun to offer DP rights, but cram us into 31 inches of seat upholstered in cheap woven fabric, with no music, no culture, no panache. Our parties are an EVENT – and at FABULAIR – we are clear that your travel experience should be the same.

 

At FABULAIR we have acquired three of the most glamorous, most elegant, most stylish air transports that have ever existed – beautiful Lockheed 1649 Starliners.  Their triple tails, elegant lines and singular appearance will distinguish your arrival from the commoners who travel in “coach.”  Each of our unique aircraft –only three in the world that you can ride in – is equipped with just sixty-four seats.  Our seats are wider and further apart than any outside an international first class cabin.  You have room for your belongings, to enjoy yourself.  Each seat has a personal video screen.  From this screen, you can access the Internet, send and receive email, make telephone calls, send faxes, watch our on-board entertainment and play video games – even with other passengers.

 

Our FABULAIR aircraft present the elegant, regal appearance of the glory days of air travel.  Even though they are classic, piston driven luxury liners, they are equipped with every modern safety and navigation device.  The interiors are a blend of modern and sophisticated conveniences and fabrics, melded with classic lines and broad expanses of that era when only the wealthy and famous could travel by air.  You gain everything and enhance your experience by taking a FABULAIR trip to your next gay destination.

 

A TOTAL EXPERIENCE

 

The FABULAIR experience begins when you call our reservations number 1-900-FLY-FABU.  Yes, you can make reservations on other airlines for free.  But our 900 number is only $.28/minute, and fifty percent of the proceeds go to the Human Rights Campaign or the GLBT charity of your choice.  Our reservations agents are very good on the phone.

 

Your first choice when calling FABULAIR?  Picking your reservations agent.  Check out their profiles on our website www.fabulair.com.  Learn about their lives, their loves and their interests.  Develop a personal relationship, and feel totally taken care of by someone who is committed to your total experience.

 

E-tickets may be the wave of the future, but you deserve to have an experience that sets you apart from the masses who herd into seventy square inches of space to travel to a tedious, overworked destination.  Upon becoming a member of FABULAIR, your ticket portfolio will arrive; a sleek Diesel leather ticket folio with your Frequent Flyer card, luggage tags and FABULAIR information.  Your seat assignment (only aisle or window; no middle seats) is pre-reserved and your in-flight menu choices are included because we know how long it takes some of you to make up your minds, especially with a menu as fabulous as ours.  We take our in-flight menu from the kitchens of some of the most fabulous hotels and guest houses in our circle.  Once you have selected your meals, please attend our website and update your flight profile.  Or, call your reservations agent, and let them know your desires.  Your FABULAIR ticket folio is designed to recall the days when movie stars boarded these incredible machines, and were whisked to exotic locals.  You may use it when you fly a “common carrier;” but be prepared for the jealous stares and the bewilderment of the common people as they stare at you from their dreary existence.  You will be Lana Turner, Cary Grant, Jean Tierney, Fred Astaire .. regal, aloof, living a life that most people can and will only dream of living.

 

        An Uncommon Terminus

 

When you arrive at the airport, you’ll recognize our terminal immediately.  Richard Sabala did the lighting.  Susan Morabito does the music.  Thierry Mugler did the departure lounge.  Our home base in Houston is at the restored 1940 Municipal Terminal, away from the busy throngs of travelers who think that wearing shower thongs in public is acceptable.  You will be greeting be traditional red caps, who will relieve you of carrying your bags and allow you to enter the terminal unencumbered by anything but your carry ons.  Our red caps wear uniforms tailored by Raymond Dragon; their service may say “classic era” but their appearance says “right now.”

 

A uniformed concierge will greet you as you enter.  Your name, and your reservation are recorded and ready.  You need only present your FABULAIR ID and then enjoy the wonderfully restored Beaux Arts terminal building and its presentation of the glamorous days of air travel.  For you, this will be both an immersion into that history, and a revelation in the sybaritic luxury that is today available.

 

As a charter carrier, some of the restrictions of commercial air travel are avoided.  You will pass through a security screening; and you will have to observe the restrictions against smoking in the terminal, aircraft and aircraft ramp.  Your luggage is safely entrusted with us, as it will never leave our hands.  If butch is what you’re after, go ahead and lust after our baggage handlers.  The men, look like we hired them from Colt and Falcon Studios, and the women, look to be trained by Linda Hamilton’s personal trainer.  Hard hats, safety glasses, ripped muscles, leather back belts, steel toed boots and more attitude than Razzle Dazzle Dallas.  They’re as much of the experience as any element of our service; we can’t promise that they’re single, but they do appreciate your approval and gratitude.  Go ahead and wrap up your phone number in a twenty dollar bill – you never know!

 

          Cary Grant, not Cattle Car

 

On board we have no flight attendants.  Just stewardesses.  Even the guys!  They’re all young, tall, thin, gorgeous, dressed by Chanel and trained by RuPaul – they’re gonna work!  Butch has no place in our sky aisles – only style and grace.  Together with that hint of attitude that we all appreciate. 

 

Our cockpit crew?  All gay men and lesbians who have probably been discharged from the military after distinguised flying careers!

 

In the air, our motto is “If there’s ANYTHING we can do.”  Our martinis are in beautiful glasses; the napkins are linen and the atmosphere is extravagant.

 

You’ll never see “Honey, I Blew Up The Kids” on FABULAIR.  We only show movies starring Bette Davis, Joan Crawford, Madonna or Jody Foster.  Or movies about women in love.  With each other, of course.

 

Care for a magazine?  Vanity Fair, Out, Curve, Genre?  .

 

The screen phone at every seat has its speed dial programmed for Tzabaco, International Male, Barney’s New York, Tiffany’s, Sak’s, Nordstrom, Abercrombie, and J. Crew for the non-stop shopaholic.

 

Perhaps you’d like to listen to our specially selected audio entertainment.  Examples: k.d.lang; The Pet Shop Boys; The Indigo Girls; Junior’s “Dancing on Air” party mix (a FABULAIR exclusive); Melissa Etheridge; Show tunes, show tunes, show tunes!

 

Too Fabulous.

 

Our in-flight service is not coach, business or first.  It’s so fabulous, we named it Fabulous Class.  It may seem like first class on other airlines, but we never use those words, because nothing we do is second class.

 

We recognize, however, that many of our passengers are too special and important, even for Fabulous Class.  For those who require the utmost in privacy and luxury we have an exclusive cabin that we call Too Fabulous Class.

 

Too Fabulous Class passengers don’t need tickets.  We know who you are.  Our already generous luggage limit is waived for you.  At boarding time, come right to the front of the red crushed velvet roping.  Even though we have short lines, we kept the roping because we know you love it.  A full harness replaces the standard seatbelt.  A stewardess for every passenger.  Marble bathrooms big enough for two.  Live entertainment and a personal video screen with personal video choices.  We couldn’t improve our service, so we just added more.  Massage.  Manicure.  Hair styling.  Waxing and electrolysis (LA flights only).  Piercing and tattoos (New York – LGA and EWR flights only)  AA group meetings (outbound from New Orleans only following Southern Decadance, Mardi Gras and Jazz Fest)  Group psychotherapy in our upstairs lounge.