"The X-Files was O.K. but it will never be the same as when Mulder was there. That baby sure does cry alot. I wonder why? Scully has a different demeanor when she's with the baby as opposed to being 'at work.' Its funny." ~ My aunt on last week's episode, pt. 1

I thought today that I'd reevaluate my love for this show-- what got me to watch it in the beginning, why I kept watching it, and why I still watch it-- in order that I may fully understand why the show continues plodding along despite the changes its encountered.

The first episode I ever saw was The Host.  My aunt had been after me for a while to watch it, saying how much I would love it and such. To be honest, I've always been fascinated by paranormal phenomenon, ghosts in particular.  Because I was only eleven at the time, I didn't give much thought to this "X-Files" show my aunt kept harping about. Finally, I relented and watched The Host with my mom. I loved it, she hated it-- actually it scared the hell out of her. She was actually afraid to go to the bathroom for a few days. Later, she told me that I wasn't allowed to watch "The X-Files" because it was too scary-- never mind the fact that I wasn't phased by the 6 ft. fluke worm.

The next episode I remember watching was "Pusher"-- I was hooked as soon as Agent Collins set himself on fire.

After that, I would watch the show if I was able to, but would make no special effort to watch it. Until Quagmire.

I think it was Mulder's peg leg speech, or maybe Scully's psychoanalysis of him, but after that episode went off, I knew I had a new obsession. I knew that "The X-Files" was the greatest show I had ever seen. Why? I think because it challenged my beliefs about myself and the world around me. You remember how Mulder talks about how, if he had a peg leg, he wouldn't be expected to make something of himself-- earn a raise, wear a necktie-- etc.? For some reason, that changed my life and the kind of person that I was. I no longer accept things at face value, I asked questions about people and their actions, but most of all, I looked for the extraordinary in the mundane. It keeps things interesting.

So it went for years, I loved "The X-Files."  I constantly challenged my opinions and perceptions by watching a simple tv show. Maybe that man really is made of cancer, its not *too* irrational, or, what if your mind really can live inside a computer for all eternity? I would drone on and on for hours about last week's episode, who I sided with, Mulder or Scully, and why, then I would learn as much as I could about that particular paranormal person or event. I went beyond simply watching-- I learned.

So, when I heard that David Duchovny, and consequently Mulder, wouldn't be returning for a ninth season, I wasn't too worried.  I watched the show for the stories, not the characters. The fact that I liked the characters and saw a lot of myself in Mulder helped, but it wasn't the only thing keeping me dedicated. I once told someone that as long as the show was called "The X-Files," I would watch. Provided it was still interesting, anyway.

Well guess what? Its not interesting to me anymore. And Mulder's absence and Old-School Scully's vanishing acts only help to compound the problem.

NIHT2 was a joke-- no clear character or action motivations, silly melodrama, and special effects worthy of MST3K. Painting Doggett as the wild and "hell bent" super-duper exposer of all things conspiracy minded, with his confused and placating partner Reyes by his side, keeping him down to earth and employed.  Gee, that sounds familiar, except Mulder had reason and Scully wasn't confused and placating.

This is not "The X-Files" I fell in love with.

I think I was wrong when I assumed that the show would interest me without Mulder. Somewhere along the way, Mulder and Scully became more important than the paranormal stories-- I think maybe Season Six when each week, the stories got stupider and sillier but Mulder and Scully made it bearable.

I can't remember the last time I was challenged by this show. That's really sad, to me.

I still ask questions and look for the extraordinary in the mundane. I doubt that will ever change.

So now I'm faced with a dilemma: do I keep watching the MotW episodes hoping for that challenge and maybe a glimpse of Scully S1-7? Or do I stop now before the bad outweighs the good?

No rating this week, I personally think its painfully obvious anyway.