MULDER: If, eh, you detect a hint of skepticism or incredulity in Agent Scully's voice, that's because of the overwhelming evidence gathered by the FBI debunking virtually all claims of ritual abuse by satanic cults.

DET. WHITE: Is that true?

MULDER: Don't ask me.

SCULLY: (irritated) Our research has proven that most of these accounts are false or imagined. That, eh, the trauma or mental illness that is often linked to satanic cults is a result of denial, hysteria and misplaced blame.

~ From "Sygyzy."

I remember the first Frank Spotnitz episode I ever saw: Detour. It was good, had nice character moments, a decently cohesive plot, nice Mulder innuendo. End Game was good, too. That last scene is still one of my favorites. Our Town was, uh, okay. And all those episode that he co-wrote were pretty good, too. Overall, nothing to really complain about unless you get picky. So, what happened?

Last year, good ol' Spotzy gave us such pieced together, makeshift episodes like The Gift-- and entire waste of an hour! Last night, he seemed to lower the bar even further for himself with Deam-, Dam-, Daemonicus.

This thing had no cohesion what so ever. The teaser was a convenient, scare-the-hell-out-of-em-for-no-reason (which by the way, didn't work) scene. The editing-symbolism of switching from one scene to the next gave me a headache, Reyes continually made fun of my fashion sense, Scully got insulted and didn't seem to care, and Doggett got thrown up on (now THAT'S entertainment) and STILL refused to consider maybe taking a further look into any sort of "paranormal" explanation.

So let me get this straight: Prof. Cobalt worked through his neighbor and his guard to do evil, Devil-y things because he could. He targeted those nice people from the teaser (who I doubt ever did anything bad to anyone-- they play SCRABBLE for FUN), his Doctor, and that other guard because their names and/or initials make the word "Daemonicus." He goes around trying to profile people like some Fox Mulder wannabe and actually ends up doing a decent job of it because Doggett has this "love triangle" deal tattooed on his forehead and is obviously trying to replace Mulder because he's the man in this partnership. Gee, why am I going to school to learn to profile? I should just check into the local mental hospital and request a large room with space and a window so I can see the sky...

Doggett's blatant and obnoxious closed mindedness is beginning to get old-- he sees things that he can't explain or rationalize with anything he knows from his years as a "flat-footed cop" and yet when someone offers him a reasonable, if a little weird, explanation, he shuts down and does his petulant child routine. Next week, maybe he'll throw himself on the ground and start banging his fists and feet and screaming "Monica's a poopey head!" I would look forward to seeing that again! For the record, I understand Doggett's reluctance to believe in anything paranormal because it might provide a way that he could've saved his son (or are we beyond that tired explanation, now?) but there's something to be said when he allows his personal feelings to interfere with his professional investigations-- look! I drew another parallel!  Now, he doesn't come off as the reluctant believer, he comes off as arrogant and conceited. At least when Scully sang this tune, she entertained us with big science-y words and had a practical reason to be so reluctant.

As for Reyes: did she just step out of a Gap ad or something? I though at any moment she would burst into a song and dance routine and wipe that "I pity everyone" look off her face. Doesn't the FBI have DRESS CODES? (Yes, I believe they do).

And poor, poor, Scully. I at least expected her to, you know, get mad or something when that student asked if she'd ever slayed a vampire. I remember back in Squeeze when Colton asked her if she'd had any "close encounters of the third kind" yet and she actually had a snippy remark delivered with anger and disbelief: "Is that what everyone thinks I do?" And she had only been working on the X-Files for what, a few months? She had barely begun to scratch the "death to science" surface yet, but she was still offended that everyone would make light of her work. Where, oh where did that Scully go? You would think that now she would be even more offended by that vampire comment given the face that a) she's seen things that she "cannot deny"; b) has been abducted, given cancer, and had various family members killed; 3) may have very well had a baby that helps to further an alien project, all because of the X-Files, what this smart ass kid is making fun of. The least she could have done is to say, "No, but I have shot a vampire."

Maybe GA is purposely trying to rid Scully of any feeling now, so that next season, the lack of Scully will be less traumatic.

Note to Frank: quit while you're ahead-- go see what Vince is up to.

Rating: 0 lounge chairs out of 5

I would dedicate this to the memory of George Harrison, but I LIKE George Harrison.