It was late Sunday night, and I had a problem. No-one was coming to visit my website. I needed a hook, I thought, so that anyone who did come by would stick around for two seconds, and maybe they would even mention it to a friend. So I quickly came up with what follows.
It was put together in twenty minutes, and it shows. It has disgraced my web page long enough, but... it is kind of funny. I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it entirely, so I just moved it off the front page. If you got here, you're the type of person who likes to noodle around and find interesting stuff. I hope this fits the bill.
***
1.Na3 Na6 2.Nb1 Nb8!?
Rol Overvitch repeats moves, tacitly signaling his peaceful intentions.
3.Nh3!!
No draw. This move also sets a cunning psychological trap, which my opponent completely missed.
3...Nh6
Still oblivious.
4.g4!!
The difference! My opponent thought I only wanted to move the horsies back and forth on both sides of the board before acquiesing to a three-fold repetition, but he is hit with a murderous TN. This idea first occured to me when I was snowboarding in the Ural Mountains with Sergey Sergeyevitch, who is a first category player (about equivalent to an American GM). It was freezing cold, so we were both drunk off our ass, but somehow we were snowboarding and there was a board between us and we were throwing around pieces to the beat of Destiny's Child. At some point I played the move g4, and Sergey Sergeyevitch's reaction was hilarious. He screams "OH SH**"!, loses balance, and plummet's 60,000 meters to get buried in an avalanche. Right there I knew I had found an excellent move.
4...f6 5.e4 g5 6.f4 gxf4 7.g5
All forced. If you can't understand why we played these moves, it's because you are a lousy player.
7...Nf5?!
Losing at once, but there was nothing better.
[7...Ng4 8.Qxg4 wins a piece.; 7...Nf7 8.Bc4!! was the main idea, which I had to foresee twenty moves ago (in other words, during the previous round). The following line is pure music on the chessboard. Tchaikovsky this time, with a little bit of Limp Bizkit thrown in because it is so completely devastating. 8...fxg5 9.Nxg5 Nxg5 Has black won a piece?? 10.Qh5+ Nf7 and now white has a choice of mates.]
8.Be2!!
More artistic than 8.Qh5 mate, which black had foreseen. My opponent now resigned, because he is losing at least a piece.
1-0
***
Note: Black isn't losing a piece anyway after 8...Nh4, as I discovered to my horror about 10 minutes after my parody was up on the net. In a way though, I guess that just makes it even funnier.