| God invited Nixon and Brezhnev to come talk to him in heaven. He says each of them can only ask one question. "When will the unemployment go down in America?" asks Nixon. "In twenty years," answers God. "I regret that it will not happen in your lifetime." "And when will the Russian people gain happiness?" asked Brezhnev. God answered, "I regret that it will not happen in my lifetime!" |
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| The first Russian election was held when God put Eve in front of Adam and said, "Go ahead, choose your wife." |
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| Three men are discussing Adam and Eve. "Adam and Eve were French," says the Frenchmen. "Look at them, so beautiful." "No, they must have been Americans," says the American. "They had plenty of everything and never went hungry." "I know for a fact that they were Russians," says the Russian. "They were naked, cold, and hungry, and they were being told that this was Paradise." |
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| The capitalism is exploitation of humans by humans. Communism - in opposite! |
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| A doctor examines a patient. "Breathe! Don't breathe! Breathe! Don't breathe! Don't breathe, don't breathe, don't breathe, don't breathe... Carry out! The next, please!" |
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| A man is driving a car in Russia when the car in front of him suddenly stops for a red light. The poor man, not thinking quickly enough, ran right into the car in front. It was a new Mercedes, and the poor man thought, "Oh no, now the New Russian is going to come out and sue me." To his surprise, the New Russian gets out of his car and says very pleasantly, "Now how would you have stopped if I hadn't been there?" |
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