Hosptials: Hell On Earth

My first hospitalizations started when the campus police took me to the student health center for the second time. The doctors decided they didn't have the resources to treat me and shipped me off to a hospital in Oakland. In Oakland I, took another ambulance ride to the county hospital in Martinez. While I was there, my uncle from Texas flew in. They put me on a 5150 (California law for a 48 hour hold). I requested a hearing to challenge the hold and I testified on my own behalf, while my uncle testified against me. This was my first appearance in court and I lost.

My mother was contacted in New Zealand and flew back. She saw me in Martinez, but I don't remember very much about the rest of my stay there. I was shipped from Martinez to a private hospital in Oakland called "Gladman". I really hated that hospital.

By this time I was starting to have hallucinations. I felt I could fly. I thought I could make everyone T-shirts by dying them in the toilet. At one point I had a large pile of T-shirts and had the other patients come by and pick one out for themselves. It wasn't until months later that I learned I'd taken the other patient's shirts and that when they picked up their shirts, they were really picking up THEIR shirts.

There were several incidents that I remember from Gladman. I tried smoking. A tall skinny patient named, "Billy" punched me in the face. I did shrink art. One very religious patient gave me religious propaganda comics. To this day I still find those comics to be both ridiculous and horrifying since some people must believe them.

I became very angry and upset at times to the point where the psych attendants/goon squad would wrap me up in a wet sheet and put me in a padded cell until I calmed down. The moments I spent wet sheeted and screaming were some of the lowest moments of my life.

Until that point I'd always been afraid of blood. Of course the doctor wouldn't release me until they'd taken a lithium blood level. I spent two extra weeks at Gladman because I was so terrified of the blood test that I refused to take it. Once I finally agreed to have my blood drawn, I was taken to the Kaiser hospital in Martinez.

At Kaiser the food really sucked. It was airline food that tasted like it had been around the world a few times. While I was at Kaiser, we were able to go outside every once in awhile. A few times we walked down to the convenience store. One time we went on a trip in a van to look at the estuaries. These experiences gave me an appreciation of life's small freedoms-- like going to the quickie mart after you've been hospitalized for a few months under lock and key.