You know you are a university student if...

...you have ever woken up to find all your clothes have been robbed.

...you have the pizza delivery phone number memorized. 

...you have ever shown up for class wearing the same clothes you wore to 
bed the previous night.

...you have ever gotten up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and 
had to step over more than two or more complete strangers sleeping naked on 
your floor. 

...you spend more than 30 hours a week at the pub.

...you have developed a weekly ritual of waking up blurry-eyed on Saturday 

...afternoons and proceeding to determine where the hell you are.

...it doesn't faze you at all to carry on a pleasant conversation with someone 
while taking a dump. 

...you have ever done washing up at 4am.

...you have ever sung from a rooftop.

...you have ever vomited from a rooftop. Or down a stairwell. 

...you have a map of the airducts of your flat in the back of your wardrobe.

...you know approximately how many people can fit into your boot of your car.

...you have ever traveled anywhere with several bags of dirty clothes. 

...you have ever seen a tv fall past your bedroom window.

...you have ever seen a sofa fall past your bedroom window. 

...you have ever seen a sofa fall past your bedroom window. On fire.

...you have ever paid £100 for a single book without taking one look at it. 

...you have ever sold that same £100 book eight months later, unread, for seven 
quid.

...more than twenty percent of your household furnishings are made from milk crates.

...you have ever heaved seventeen beer cans and a bag of pot out the window 
because someone at your door didn't use the secret knock.

...you know not to enter your room when a certain object is hanging from the 
doorknob.

...you have to lock up your television when you retire at night.

...you have ever been excited to find a pair of £10 jeans in your size.

...you have ever had to wait in line to brush your teeth.

...you have a calling card, but no phone.

...you have a credit card, but no job. 

...your hair color changes more often than the season. 

...there have ever been more than nine people in your car at once.

...you can tell the time of day by the noise level in the hall outside your 
door. 

...the "home made chips" you were served at breakfast look suspiciously like 
the chips you were served at dinner the night before.

...you have inexplicable urges to have various body parts pierced.

...you actually know someone named Sasha.

...empty cans or cigarette boxes make good room decorations.

...you have ever climbed from your friend's third-story window to your own 
fourth-story window because you locked yourself out of your room.

...you set your alarm clock for 8:50am to make a 9:00am lesson.

...you have ever spent the day shopping without purchasing a single new item.

...you call your car club more often than you call your mother.

...you have ever opened your door and found a naked person hurrying past it.

...you have ever found yourself at a hospital emergency room seeking treatment 
for a "slam-dancing" injury.

...you'd rather go hungry than break off your Internet connection to order a 
pizza.

...you have ever opened your door to find your roommate super-glued to the 
ceiling.

...you include photocopying in your monthly budget.

...you were in debt by £20,000 before your twentieth birthday.

...you store your toiletries in a bucket next to your bed.

...you have ever been part of a team to get a goat into a volkswagen beetle on 
your university roof.

...you have ever left someone tied naked to a lampost.