101 Ways to kill a human

1. Point blank gun shot wound to the frontal lobe
2. Open up on someone with a semi-automatic
3. Pair of scissors thrust into the temple
4. 47 stabs to the heart with a 5 inch blade
5. Slip them some cyanide
6. Strangle them with a telephone cord
7. Slam their head into a toilet bowl 7 times
8. Run them over with a station wagon
9. Toss them into a wood chip grinder
10. Throw them in a pool of electric eels
11. Stuff their head in a blender
12. Stab them in the eye with a pencil
13. Stab them in both eyes with a pencil
14. Make them swallow a hand grenade
15. Shove a SCUD up their ass
16. Suffocate them with a plastic bag
17. Rip their spine out
18. Tell them to commit suicide
19. Repeatedly beat them with a 18 inch TV
20. Drop them from a 12 story building
21. Make them eat till they explode
22. Cut their head off and play catch with the dog
23. Tie their arms and legs to separate cars and drive away
24. Lock them in a septic tank for 6 weeks
25. Stick lighted sticks of dynamite in their ears
26. Hire a hit-man
27. Fit them for cement shoes and see how well they float with them
28. Get their hair caught in a pool filter
29. Give them a nice pat on the back off a cliff
30. Give them the backwards stunner
31. Make them smoke 235 cigarettes in one minute
32. Eat the cafeteria meat loaf
33. Put them at ground zero of a nuclear test
34. Make them chow down on a car battery
35. Drive by shooting
36. Make them catch cinder blocks with their teeth
37. Bury them
38. Put honey all over their body and then unleash killer bees on them
39. Cannibalism
40. Make them swim in a volcano
41. One way ticket to the sun
42. Drop them from a plane without a parachute
43. Use a gun
44. Repeatedly beat them with a bat
45. Water ski into an ocean liner
46. Hack them into small tiny bits
47. Skin them alive
48. Offer a human sacrifice
49. Make them suck on a muffler
50. Fire a rivet gun at their face
51. Set them on fire
52. Cut their wrists
53. Disembowlement
54. Make toast in their bath
55. Crowbar to the knees then beat them while their down
56. Tip a cow on them
57. Starve them
58. Inject them with Ebola
59. Organ donation without consent
60. Put them in a trash compactor
61. Make them drink rocket fuel, then have a cigarette
62. Don't let them sleep for 286 days
63. Put them on the rack
64. Shove them out the hatch without a space suit
65. Throw them overboard in shark infested waters
66. Buy them a third class ticket on the Titanic
67. Tie them to a submarine and have it submerge for a couple days
68. Electrocute them
69. Fire a couple CDs at them at the speed of sound
70. Crush their head with a vice
71. Murder them
72. Have someone else murder them
73. Beat them with your bare hands
74. Shove their nose into their brain
75. Shell them for 18 hours
76. Run them over with a tank, then blow up the remains
77. Make them clear a mine field, barehanded
78. Nuke them from a stealth
79. Let them die of old age
80. Detach their abdomen from their thorax
81. 14, 981 paper cuts
82. Make them swallow a blue whale
83. Feed them to some hungry animals
84. Make them listen to 93 hours of non stop New Kids on the Block
85. Throw them in acid
86. Shove a 2X4 through their stomach
87. Mummify them
88. Make burgers out of them, then serve them at MacDonald's
89. Break their back in 8 places and play skip rope with their spinal cord
90. Have them bungy jump without the cord
91. Give them a 3 course meal of dirt, lots of dirt
92. Shove their head up their ass
93. Snag them in the neck with a fish hook
94. Saw them in half with a chainsaw
95. Crack them in the head with a couple pool balls
96. Execution by firing squad
97. Open heart surgery without anesthetic
98. Make them work for once<
99. Sand their face off with a belt sander
100. Twist their head the wrong way
101. Open a can of whoop ass on them