Neha creation ...
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SANTA IN TAMILNADU EXPRESSAfter making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth. Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English. Santa Singh explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."
SANTA AND THE INTERVIEWERSanta Singh, who has a bad memory, goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, can you tell us your age, please?" Santa counts carefully on his fingers for half a minute before replying. "Um .. 28." The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?" The man stands up and produces a measuring tape from his bag. He then traps one end under his foot and extends the tape to the top of his head. He checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot four!" This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the he won't have to count, measure, or lookup. "Just to confirm for our records, your name please?" Santa Singh bobs his head from side to side for about fifteen seconds, mouthing something silently to himself, before ! re! plying, "Santa Singh!" The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, "What were you doing when I asked you your name?" "Oh, that!" replies Santa," I was just running through that song, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear...'"
ANOTHER CHANCE...Banta Singh has been attending the Singh International Training College, a school set up to give the likes of him a chance to make it in the real world. For 10 years, he keeps failing this one class that he needs to graduate: basic math. The administrators want to get him out to make room for new students, but can't just give him the grade. So, they instead decide to ask him a simple math question at the graduation ceremony in case he fails at exams. If he answers this correctly, he graduates. Sure enough, he fails the class again. But, this time he is called on stage. He is made to stand before everyone and the administrators say, 'Although you lack one class for graduation, we have decided to pass you if you can answer this one question. What is two plus two?' Banta Singh thinks about it for a while and finally says, 'Four.' The whole crowd (Sardars)! s! tands up in objection and demands, ' Please give him another chance!'
MERE HAATH MEIN KYA?Once a sardar asks another sardar... Sardar #1: Tell me what's in my hand? And if you're right, then I will give this button to you. Sardar #2 (Tthinking): No not like this. Give me some sort of clue. Sardar #1: Okay! This thing is round in shape. Sardar #2 (Again thinking): Many things are round in shape. Give me another clue. Sardar #1: This thing has 4 holes in it. Sardar #2: I got it. I got it. Sardar #1: Bol to kya hai mera hath mein. Sardar #2: Scooter ka paiya. (Wheel of a scooter)
SANTA SINGH & MESSAGE BOARDSanta Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read 'Padne waala gadha.' (one who reads this is an ass) Santa Singh sat on a nearby bench, and after much thought erased it and wrote 'Likhne waala Ghadah'. (One who wrote this is an ass)
BANTA SINGH IN HEAVENAfter death, Banta Singh reached the door of the heaven smoothly. There he met Saint Peter and he said, 'Well, Banta...It is nice to talk to you but we have changed our policy these days. I will ask you a question and you need to answer it correctly before you go in.' Banta, with lot of self confidence told Saint Peter to go ahead and ask him the damn question. Saint Peter - How many seconds are there in a year? Banta, after lot of thought, answered,'12'. Astonished Saint Peter asked him - But how? Banta - January 2nd,February 2nd,March 2nd,..........
SARDARJI & TELUGUOne day a Sardarji talking with his friend....... Sardarji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or we will not be able to communicate with my child. Friend: Is it! Why? Sardarji: We have adopted a telugu child and it will start to speak after 6 months.
GARRY KASPORAV & SARDARJIMr Banta Singh is traveling from Moscow to Bhatinda. Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov. Gary asks him whether he would like to play chess to kill time. Banta : 'Oye Gar(r)y. You think I don't know who you are?. I can't compete with a world champion' Gary : 'How about if I play left handed ?' Banta : [Think.. Think..] 'OK!' Banta is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset through-out the rest of the journey. On landing he meets his friend Santa Singh. Banta : Hey! You know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and he defeated me inspite of him playing left-handed..... Santa : Oye ullu -de pathey!! He sure did fool you!! You know what!! Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!!
CHEATING...How Does a Sardar Cheat the Railways?
SCOOTER
He buys the ticket but doesn't travel !One day evening a Sardarji starts from office to home with pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way... Friend: why are you pushing your scooter manually? Sardarji: 'I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home. Friend: 'Is it! Then, How did you come to office from home in the morning?' Sardarji: 'I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in the morning.'
Sardarji CarpenterA sardarji carpenter was fixing up some wooden window frames on a 50-story building. He was using an electric saw and accidentally cut one of his ears off. A guy was walking along the street below him so he called out, ''Hey, you on the street, can you see my ear down there?'' The guy on the street picks up an ear saying, ''Is this it?'' ''No,'' was the reply from the sardarji carpenter, ''mine had a pencil behind it.''
INDIANThere is a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere where the following group of people is stranded:
SARDAR WINS LOTTERY:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman
One month later on this absolutely stunning deserted island in the middleof nowhere, the following has occurred:
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italianwoman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happilytogether in a "menage a trois".
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The Bulgarian men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Bulgarian woman and they started swimming.
The Irish began by dividing up their island, Northside and Southside, and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but at least the English are not getting any.
The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide while the American woman keeps on talking about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving. But at least the taxes are low and it is not raining.
...AND...
The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Indian woman.
A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Delhi to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Sardar says, "I want my 20 lakhs.
CRICKETERS IN DISGUISE:
The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you one lakh today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 weeks."
The Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."
Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest during the next 19 weeks.
The Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my 20 lakhs right now, then I want my five rupees back!"
After the shameful defeat of Indian cricket team in final of PEPSI CUP 99 in Bangalore, the team members were not able to show their faces to people and they chose not to go in public and rather just pack up in hotel rooms.
CHARITY
Dravid could not resist for too long to be in hometown and still not be able to go out shopping and have fun. So he disguises himself as a Sardar and goes out. he meets a woman at the exit of the hotel who greets him "Hi Dravid!"
Surprised for having been caught he comes back and makes himself up as a Muslim woman - in Burkha etc and goes out. Yet same again - the same woman greets him "Hi Dravid!".
Dravid comes back determined to give it yet another try with the make up of a Hippie wig and shorts etc. All in vain - the same lady catches him again and greets him "Hi Dravid!". Bewildered by now, he could not help asking,
"How did you recognize me?"
The lady replied - "I am Javagal Srinath!"
Charity begins at home A local charity office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
SURD'S BUSINESS
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the rep mumbled, "Um...no."
"Or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken rep began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted, "...or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"
The humiliated rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again: "...and if I don't give them a penny, why should I give any to you?!?"
There were 4 sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business.They had a lot of discussions on the type of business and finally decided to start a hotel. They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel. The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first customer. The sardars waited and waited but nobody turned up. The story was the same the next day. A week passed but noboby turned up.
WHY ?
- Bcos there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed."
After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They bought the best of car servicing equipments and soon started the garage. The 4 sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive but no car entered their garage. They waited for one day, 2 days ,a week but no car came to their garage.
WHY ?
-B'cos their garage was on the first floor.
After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi driving. They bought a new Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look for passengers. They drew past Churchgate but nobody hailed their taxi. They went to Nariman point yet nobody hailed their taxi. They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there nobody hailed their taxi. In desperation they kept on driving all around Mumbai but alast no one hailed their taxi.
WHY ?
-B'cos all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi.
All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb and decided to push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines. They started pushing their taxi. They pushed the whole day and were very exhausted but the taxi did not move even an inch. They decided to rest for the night and start the next day. The next day the story repeated itself. The taxi just wouldnt move. They pushed for a whole week but the taxi wouldnt budge.
WHY ?
B'cos two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from behind.
Neha creation ...