Scene Four

 

The ship's dining room. There are a few tables and a projection of ocean against the backdrop. At the Captain's table, CAPTAIN O'MARA sits with TWO SPINSTERISH AMERICAN TOURISTS, both of whom are embarrassed by his getting progressively more plastered. At one table sit ESME, CLARISSE and COLIN. Alone at another is the BARON. At still another are CHANG and WANG.
  COLIN At this rate we'll be at sea for twelve weeks. Clarisse, are you listening to me?

ESME

She hasn't been seen outside her stateroom.

COLIN

Who hasn't?

ESME

Mandalay Molly, of course.

COLIN

Is she on the…? Oh, I see.
                                                               (to Clarisse)
That accounts for your behavior. Well, listen to me, my dear. We may be six thousand miles from London in a den of savages, but an English lady remains an English lady.

CLARISSE

Oh, Colin, don't be such a pansy. (Suddenly we hear the strains of "The Room Upstairs. All eyes turn as MOLLY and ANNIE MAY enter.) ESME Oh, my Lord! It's… (CLARISSE stares at Molly in a complete trance as MOLLY and ANNIE MAY are seated at a table by a WAITER. MOLLY picks up the menu and scans it.) WAITER Yes, madam?

MOLLY

The Number Five.

(CLARISSE rises from the table and, in imitation of her idol, begins to sing. As SHE mimics Molly's movements, MOLLY completely ignores her. WAITER brings the food, and MOLLY eats without once glancing at Clarisse.)                                         Hello, purser,
                                        Hello, waiter,
                                        Got a cigarette?
                                        I like your silhouette.
                                        I'd love to see it wet. Hello, waiter,
Hello, purser,
I have never met
One I could not handle yet.
The bigger they come,
The harder they get.

In the room upstairs
There's a bed of brass,
And the ceiling bears
One large looking glass.
There's an antique clock there
That doesn't keep time;
There's a door to lock there
And a wall to climb.
In the room upstairs
You can really soar
On two easy chairs
Or the hardwood floor.
There is not much noise there,
Only moaning refrains;
When you see my toys there,
They will blow your brains.
You can rest your head
On my satin spread
And forget your cares---
You will flip your cork, my dear,
In that room upstairs.
 

(But MOLLY goes right on eating. CLARISSE is deflated; COLIN acutely embarrassed. HE has tried without success to make her sit down. When the number is over, CAPTAIN applauds wildly.) CAPTAIN Shing it again! (Encouraged by the Captain's drunken enthusiasm, CLARISSE is about to begin again, but COLIN claps his hand over her mouth and pushes her firmly back into her chair. CLARISSE is crestfallen at Molly's disinterest. A moment of silence. Then CHANG springs from his table, leaps upon Molly, throws her head back and kisses her passionately. The BARON draws a saber from the wall, charges at him and appears to stab him through the heart. CHANG falls. WANG lunges at the Baron.) WANG You kill my brother! I will avenge him! (HE pulls out a knife, but the BARON appears to run him through with the saber, also. WANG falls. Through all this, MOLLY, in true Dietrich fashion, does not raise an eyebrow, simply continues to eat. BARON approaches her, bows deeply.) BARON Baron Conrad von Steiglitz at your service, madame.

MOLLY

                                                                (without turning)
Get them out of here. I'm eating sweetbreads.

(BARON claps his hands. TWO WAITERS appear and carry the bodies off.) ANNIE MAY And I thouts he wuz after me.

BARON

If you will do me the honor, madame, of dinner this evening in my stateroom.

MOLLY

I eat only one meal…

BARON

Then luncheon tomorrow.

MOLLY

…a week.

BARON

A week?

MOLLY

How do you think I get these cheekbones?

BARON

Madame, I just killed two men for you.

MOLLY

What else is new? (Still without looking at him, MOLLY rises from the table followed by ANNIE MAY. BARON heads her off at the entrance. HE bows again.) BARON Excuse me, madame.
                                                       (MOLLY stops.)
You dropped something.
                                                      (SHE turns to him slowly with one eyebrow ever so slightly raised.)
My heart. (Taking her hand, HE opens her palm and places in it an imaginary heart. HE holds her hand for a long moment.) MOLLY Stateroom A. Eight sharp. Bring caviar. Beluga. (The strains of "The Room Upstairs" swell, as MOLLY exits followed by ANNIE MAY. As BARON retreats to his table with a satisfied smile, FIRST PETTY OFFICER rushes on.) FIRST PETTY OFFICER Captain! Please! We're headed for a reef!

CAPTAIN

                                                     (swinging a bottle of wine in the air)
Full shteam ahead!
 
 

BLACKOUT