Scene Ten

 

 
 
 

We hear a train whistle. In one, MOLLY enters wearing black ostrich feathers and toting the precious briefcase. ANNIE MAY follows with two valises. THEY hurry across the stage.
  ANNIE MAY Lawsy me, Miz Molly. I never thoughts we'd make it.

MOLLY

Five days on a junk is hardly a trip on the Ile de France. Especially with a Chinaman with one long pigtail, one long fingernail and a short everything else. (THEY exit. Curtains part, and we are on the Shanghai Express, looking at it from the outside. There are three compartments, all behind a scrim, but only the center one is lighted so that we can see inside. MOLLY and ANNIE MAY open the door and enter. ANNIE MAY begins unpacking the suitcases as MOLLY slumps into a seat and pulls out a nail file.) ANNIE MAY Miz Molly, didn't that Mistuh Duval, didn't he say we wuz to takes a roomette.

MOLLY

He's French, what did you expect?

ANNIE MAY

But, Miz Molly, this here's a drawing room, ain't it?

MOLLY

In the first place, he didn't know you were coming with me. I can hardly see the two of us in a roomette. In the second place, I wouldn't be caught dead in a roomette. And in the third, they don't have roomettes on the Shanghai Express. Roomettes are like men, Annie May. They're comfortable only when the bed is down.

ANNIE MAY

Oh, Miz Molly! But where'd you get the money to change da reservation…an' buy us all dese scrumptious clothes?

MOLLY

The King of Hearts.

ANNIE MAY

He done gives you da money?

MOLLY

No, Annie May, I done took it.

ANNIE MAY

You done stole it?

MOLLY

Why not? That money was given to him to do away with the real pilot and lead us straight into the hands of the enemy.

ANNIE MAY

That there's a cryin' shame, Miz Molly. That Mistuh Johnny, he some hunka man.

MOLLY

Too bad I'm on a diet.

ANNIE MAY

Well, I sho' misses Samoan Sam. And I bets in yo' heart o' hearts you misses Mistuh Johnny.

MOLLY

I detest him. I never want to see him again as long as I live. (Lights dim in their compartment, come up in the compartment on the right. JOHNNY is staring face front out of an imaginary window. SAMOAN SAM is behind him.) SAM See her yet, bossman?

JOHNNY

Yup. Just went into the next compartment.

SAM

She come with my China doll?

JOHNNY

Yup.

SAM

That some woman that China doll.

JOHNNY

You dumb palooka. That ain't no China doll. That's a negro maid from Papeete.

SAM

You kiddin', bossman.

JOHNNY

Bossman ain't kiddin'. They're two phony baloneys if I ever seen two phony baloneys.

SAM

But you likea her. I seen it in your eyes.

JOHNNY

That tramp? Who stole my smackeroonies?

SAM

But you was gonna do her in.

JOHNNY

I wasn't never gonna do her in.

SAM

But that part of bargain with Mister War Lord.

JOHNNY

Yeah, that's what I said. But I wasn't gonna harm her. I was just gonna take the briefcase and set her down in Taichung. But now that she stole my smackeroonies…

SAM

What you plannin' do, bossman?

JOHNNY

                                                                  (clenching his fists)
You jus' wait and see, Sammy boy. Jus' wait and see.

                                                                                 (Lights dim in that compartment, come up in Molly's.)
 

MOLLY

Why are they taking so long to start the train?

ANNIE MAY

I hear da porter he say dat some bigwig comin' aboard.

MOLLY

Trains are like men, Annie May. Sometimes you gotta stoke them to get 'em going.

ANNIE MAY

Oh, Miz Molly! (Lights dim in Molly's compartment, come up in the one on the left. BARON is at the window, smoking a cigarette. CLARISSE comes through the door, dressed in exactly the same outfit as Molly.) BARON She's here at last.  In the next compartment…
                                                                               (HE turns, sees Clarisse's outfit)
What is that?

CLARISSE

What is what?

BARON

You know blasted well!

CLARISSE

Yes, darling, but I think it suits me better.

BARON

If I wanted Mandalay Molly, I would have stayed with Mandalay Molly.

CLARISSE

You couldn't very well, could you, if she kept pushing you overboard?

BARON

You forget the most important point, my dear. I was the only love of her life.

CLARISSE

Really, darling, let's not talk of the past. Let's talk of the present…and money.

BARON

What do you mean?

CLARISSE

Daddy won't send me another shilling.

BARON

WHAT?!

CLARISSE

He doesn't think I'm the real Clarisse Forbes-Franchon. You see, that bore Colin cabled him that I was dead. And that fool Esme confirmed it. Now he thinks I'm an imposter and wants his money back.

BARON

Gottinhimmel!

CLARISSE

And he won't believe me unless I return to London immediately and he sees for himself that I am really his daughter. And of course, I can't go back to England and leave you, my lover…

BARON

Go! Go!

CLARISSE

What did you say?

BARON

Oh! Oh!

CLARISSE

That's why, darling, it's so imperative for both our sakes to get those documents. (BARON moves behind her and pantomimes strangling her, as the lights dim in their compartment and come up in Johnny's.) JOHNNY

Oh, Mandalay Molly,
You won't be so jolly
The moment you see
You darn well will be
A dame in distress.

                                                                                (Lights return in Baron's compartment.)

BARON

Oh, Mandalay Molly,
You've pulled your last folly---
See how it feels
When you're under the wheels
Of the Shanghai Express. (From stage right, in a business suit, WAR LORD hurries on followed by CHANG and WANG, who are loaded down with suitcases.)

CLARISSE

As twilight lingers,
She'll be tied to the rails.

WAR LORD

I'll kiss her fingers,
But there'll be no fingernails.

WAR LORD, CLARISSE, JOHNNY, BARON, CHANG & WANG

Oh, Mandalay Molly,
You'll be one dead dolly!
What do we care
While lucking out
Plucking out
Each platinum hair?

That is the end,
And what a finale!
Dismembered and bald,
Miss Mandalay Molly!
Miss Mandalay Moll!

(Now lights rise in Molly's compartment. SHE is still filing her nails.)

ANNIE MAY I hears singin', Miz Molly.

MOLLY

Happy peasants always sing, Annie May.

ANNIE MAY

Dese don' sound like no peasants, Miz Molly. It sound like yo' song.

MOLLY

Which one?

ANNIE MAY

"Mandalay Molly".

MOLLY

Probably some poor homesick sailors.
 
 

WAR LORD, CLARISSE, JOHNNY, BARON, CHANG & WANG

That is the end
And what a finale!
Dismembered and bald---
Miss Mandalay Molly!
Miss Mandalay Moll!
 

 
 
 
 

CURTAIN