Here I will teach you how to get drunk for mere pennies.Well maybe $5 or so.

The malt cycle. From beginning to end.
1) Buy three 40 ounce bottles for $5 at your local retailer 2) Proceed to drink 2 without puking. Continue if it's still in you. 3) Feel bullet proof for the next few hours 4) Pass out 5) Wake up feeling like you just got your ass kicked by some gang of hoodlums. 6) Repeat next weekend

1. Colt 45: The original. Billy Dee Williams' favorite. See, even celebrities drink this stuff after their careers fizzle.
2. King Cobra: Implies power due to dark bottle and mean looking graphic. In reality the only power you will experience is the wrath of cobra in the morning.
3. Krazy Horse: I don't think they make this anymore because it was politically incorrect. It had a cool name even though it was expensive ($3/bottle) and tasted real bad. Drink three of these and you'll act crazy alright.
4. Old English: 8 ball. The old standby.
5. Schlitz, aka the Bull: Yeah that's the stuff. Avoid the "mint" flavor. The company's web page even lets you buy merchandize like T shirts and wall clocks. Neato! Here's the link to Schlitz Goodies
6. Silver Thunder: Excellent value. I found a bottle for $1.29 in NY.Good buzz and ok taste.
7. Country Club: Super cheap $0.99/bottle but was hard to drink.
8. St. Ides: I mean St Aids. : ) OK taste but stupid name

1. Cisco: Made in Upstate NY in the scenic Finger Lakes. Who would have thought that? I always thought this stuff was made in some Detroit warehouse. Cisco has 18% alcohol by volume so this stuff is strong. Many people claim there are other ingredients besides alcohol in it. I tend to agree given that the buzz it creates is unusually good. Hard to find but worth the search. Has neat flavors too like Red. What the hell flavor is Red? Use this handy product locator to find your bottle!
2. MD 20/20 (Mad Dog): Has a variety of flavors, but most are nasty.
3. Thunderbird: This is the stuff that winos drink out of paper bags. Stay way from this terrible swill if you have any self worth. Not only will you be labeled as a loser for drinking this bum juice, you may find yourself waking up in a box in some alley.
4. Wild Irish Rose: Bum juice. Same as above.

CAUTION: Most of these drinks are not available in nice areas. For you to find them you will have to venture into a college area or a more ghetto like area. Go during the day for your own safety. In a lot of the places that sell this stuff the cashier is behind bullet proof glass. The problem is that you're not. So if the place gets robbed while you are there kiss your ass good goodby.
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