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| MY SHORT STORIES |
| BUNGALOWS IN PARADISE Lt. Billiam "Old Dunkoff" Crimpo steps off Air Force 5.0 in Hawaii. "Oh Krips!" he mutters, as he gazes around. His senses are assaulted with the vileness of it all. His nostrils burn with the cesspool stench of fragrant orchids. The greens, the blues, the COLORS! He clutches his eyes with one hand and his small gut with the other, desperately trying not to barf. He limps along to his waiting limo. Grasping for breath, he mixes up a double vodka stinger (shaken, not stirred), gulping it down along with eight percocets. Remembering all the important people he will have to meet at his reception luncheon, he swallows three dexadrines, "Must keep on my toes" he mutters to himself. "Driver! Go forth!" he roars. Gliding along the road now, he sees spores jumping off palm trees. They are batting against the limo windows like a giant swarm of insects trying to attack him. Swearing and sputtering seafoam-like froth out of his mouth, he quickly gulps down another stinger. He arrives at his hotel. "They expect me to live in this HELLHOLE!" he screams at the top of his lungs. The moisture in the air is melting off the black electrical tape that holds the bridge of his glasses together. Glancing at his watch he sees that he is about an hour late for his reception. Good thing he is wearing the same outfit as the day before. "Certainly no need to change" he reassures himself, "However, I am late for my engagement". THIS WILL NOT DO!!!! Frantically looking about for transportation, he spots a golf cart moving along with a foursome of medical doctors. He rages and flings them out of the cart one by one, checking their pockets for perscription pads while doing so, throwing their bodies helter skelter with a devil may care attitude. "With all their money, what are they doing here in this dump" he growls. Sliding his slender butt onto the golf cart seat, he races furiously thru this rat infested jungle, his face and mind contorted with grief. He is sobbing now--OPENLY. Crashing thru the restaurant glass doors, he is recognized by his comrades and greeted with cheers. They all, in turn, congratulate "Old Dunkoff" and grab his butt while attempting to pick his nose. Dunkoff giggles in delight. WHAT BRAVERY! WHAT A LEADER HE IS! FINALLY, HE WILL GET THE RESPECT THAT HE DESERVES. IN PARADISE. HAWAII. 5.0 BABY THE ZONE The Squirrel stretched luxuriously on the chaise lounge, marveling at it's own white bib and underbellie, which glistened pristinely in the morning sunlight. While stretching out it's little grey legs, flexing thigh muscles, it reached for a Mai Tai being offered on a silver tray by it's butler, Ginger. The Squirrel sipped the cool drink, admiring the purple umbrella and slice of lime floating in it. Total contentment. MEANWHILE The Beautiful One, a boy of eight years, rustled around in his nest of oak leaves. His loving sister had already stopped by with gifts and food, like she did everyday and sometimes twice a day. He ate a hearty breakfast of green acorns while admiring the magnificent view of Oakville from his lofty perch. He became restless. The Beautiful One began to creep headfirst down the tree, his big blue eyes with black lashes beaming and blinking. Suddenly the Squirrel and the Beautiful One spotted each other. Eye contact was made and they were both frozen, locked in time and fear. Totally STUCK. ZONED. A cheerful Italian maiden walked between them, proudly displaying the lemon velvet cake that she carried. THE SPELL WAS BROKEN. The Beautiful One scurried back up the tree and the Squirrel bolted into it's house. The maiden continued on her journey to the bake sale. She stumbled over a twig, twisting a slim ankle on her right lamb-like leg and the cake began to fall out of her grasp. Luckily she was able to CATCH IT. All were free of THE ZONE. |
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| THE COAT SISTERS Smokie looked resplendent in her cloak of gold. Mellon looked regal in purple. They made their way down to town, side by side, the same yet different. Talking and laughing, their spirits were high and their pockets were stuffed with one dollar bills. It was Saturday and they were on their way to Johnnies Restaurant for boiled franks and hot chocolates. They arrived and were seated respectfully at the best table with a window view of downtown Oakville. It was a power lunch and they had the juice. Everyone knew it. Their little bellies full, the Coat Sisters tipped heavily, leaving a nickel each. They made their way over to the five and dime store, for even more pleasure. The Coat Sisters marveled at the display of wares and wondered how such a collection could be contained in one building. They were captivated. The congenial store clerk politely suggested that they "look with the eyes and not with the hands". Mellon selected a red plastic pump alligator. Smokie chose a lime green mini squirt gun. The day was drawing to a close, a great success and they headed home. The Coat Sisters made plans for next Saturday. It would be Beauty Magic to get their hair done, in the same style, yet different.Then on to the Soda Shoppe to order glasses of cold water and they would drop in tablets of root beer fizzies that they carried with them. They would spend many Saturdays in this delightful manner over time. The seasons and the years swept by. Their coats were eventually discarded, however, they remained emotionally immature FOREVER.... |
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