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RANDOM THOUGHTS... |
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I'm currently looking for an au pair to take care of my inner child. It'll mostly entail evening and night work.
I've decided to get a body part pierced. I'll have to wait until I get a hemorrhoid. I think that it'd be cool, but I may start walking funny.
Can people who don't eat red meat eat human flesh?
If you're not supposed to eat them, why do they call them urinal cakes?
How you should live your life: before you do anything, ask yourself: "How does this effect Paul?" That'll help you keep things in perspective. |
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I was thinking about how the occult is becoming more popular and how I might profit by it. Here's my idea: A fried chicken place where all the employees are witches. I'll call it: Wiccan Chicken. Boy, this is some finger lickin' good wiccan...chicken. |
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I got a bikini wax the other day. It looks like a clear cut in the forest. I guess I'll have to shave my legs. |
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They say that you should listen to your body. Well, I have been for a while now. It used to say, "Gee, I think I'll start to thin out some of this hair up here." Now it's saying, "Gee, I think I'll grow hair in these ears. Oh, these nostril hairs just aren't long enough. And while I'm at it, back hair." I'm not listening any more. It's pissing me off. |
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What I see for the future, in light of the growth of computers being "always on" (cable modem, etc), is someone harnessing all that networked computer power for either good or evil. I tend to believe that, because people are basically evil, it'll be for some nefarious purpose. Maybe we'll become slaves to the computer. I think that would be pretty cool. |
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I got to thinking the other day that since being a vegitarian is suppose to be so healthy for you, why are some overweight? Then it occurred to me that cows are pretty fat. |
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Why is it that women love the feel of fur, except on a man's back? |
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The educated simply regurgitate the thoughts and ideas of others. The intelligent form their own ideas. However, we gain our greatest wisdom from the isolated or illiterate. |
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Government funding for abortions is unfair to me---it should at least fund my liposuction. |
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This weekend, I'm going to give myself a perm. But I'm not sure I'll be able to reach the middle of my back. |
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Abstract and performance art is a great outlet for the untalented. |
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Imitation is not the greatest form of flattery. It's the refuge of the unimaginative. |
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Considering that everyone else in the world hates Americans (don't delude yourself, they really do), I feel that it's okay to hate everyone who is not American --- especially the French. |
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I'm really concerned about wildlife and the environment. That's why I'm going to start a program to reintroduce native Americans into the wild. Maybe Kansas. |
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What do you call Peter Pan with gonorrhea? Drip Pan.
Peter Pan in the sun? Saute Pan.
Peter Pan on fire? Frying Pan.
When Peter Pan sees Wendy? Hard Pan.
You've heard of "I think, therefore I am." Peter Pan's version is "Pan am." |
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I heard on the news that a lot of people want Bush in the White House. Do they want Monica back? |
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