Fiction by Paul
Thanks for your note. It was good to see you again. Sharon and I really enjoyed your visit and had a great time while you were here. I was a little anxious about how you might interact with me on this past visit now that you know I am bi. I was glad that you did not freak out. But now that I know you are curious and considering I realize why you didn't. LOL.
I will attempt to answer your question, but it's a complicated subject.
How did I find out I was bi? hmmmm...
Well, I have this theory: If a person, for example, was 100% straight give 'em a 1... if they're 100% gay give 'em a 5. I believe that most people fall somewhere on the continuum... probably most are between one and two... probably there is a spike between 4 and 5... but very few people are actually at 1 or 5. I think I'm probably around a 2.
I've had some really wild experiences with men. Some (given health considerations) really dumb and stupid. I've had anal sex. I've had anonymous, group, bath-house sex. But no more. I was lucky.
Nowdays, mainly, I enjoy sucking dick. That's pretty much the extent of my bi-sexuality of late.
There are, in fact, a lot of guys who like to suck dick. Many of those will suck a guy's dick...but think kissing a guy is too "gay". Some think even hugging, or stroking a chest, or playing with nipples is too "gay". I disagree with those people. I figure if you're going to have an intimate experience with another person (IE give him a blow job) that hugging, and kissing, and stroking is all part of the deal.
That's were I am right now. I don't particularly lust after getting fucked in the ass...or lust after fucking another guy in the ass. I *have* done those things...and enjoyed the experience. But I'd *much* rather fuck a woman.
So, with that as background...how did I find all this out about myself? Well, I simply tried things.
My first experience was when I was around 12 or 13 years old. I was exploring a new house that was being constructed next to where I lived. The outside walls were up, but the inside was just a shell. I was alone...and as 12 or 13-year-old boys are prone to do when they're alone, I whipped out my cock and began jerking off. Imagine my surprise when I heard a noise and looked around and there was another neighborhood boy watching me. I was mortally embarrassed until he unzipped his pants and pulled out his hard prick and began stroking too. We ended up jerking off together.
The next evening I went back inside the new construction and within a few minutes the neighbor kid was there too. He must have been watching. Shyly we each unzipped and began masturbating. This went on for a couple of nights. Eventually we started stroking each other. And ultimately we sucked each other in a 69 position. I did not cum in his mouth nor did he in mine. But we masturbated together to orgasm several times over the course of two or three weeks.
Eventually, as construction proceeded, the house got buttoned up and we could no longer use it as a place to play. We were both mightily embarrassed and could not look each other in the eye outside of our encounters in the new house. Even after we stopped the mutual masturbation routine we could not face each other at school or in our neighborhood street softball games, etc.
Lucky for me, the kid's family moved shortly after this incident and I never had to face him again. However, it was a deep-dark secret for many years. Did it mean I was gay?
I was pretty geeky in high school, never dated, and while now I know that was related to self-esteem issues, then I thought that, while I looked at girls and got hard-ons and masturbated thinking about them, perhaps I was really gay.
I went to college and met my eventual wife. It's a long and complicated story, but suffice it to say our sex life was not very good.
I, on rare occasions, hired a prostitute. But I kept thinking back to that brief experience with another guy while I was a kid.
Prostitutes were expensive. I read about gay bath houses. Compared to a prostitute going to a gay bathhouse would be cheap.
It was when I was 37, while on a business trip to Atlanta, that I made my first visit to a gay bath. It was intimidating, but I eventually hooked up with a guy about my age. I won't bore you with all the details of our encounter except to say that at one point he straddled me and I sucked him off. It was so exciting that while I was doing it I came without any physical stimulation to my penis whatsoever. That's the only time that's ever happened in my life. A mentally induced orgasm. I thought, "Wow!"
Other business trips, other encounters. I sucked, was sucked, fucked, was fucked. I had group gropes in the steam room. Sensual massages while watching gay porn. Exciting. Dangerous. Fun. Perhaps to some disgusting.
Then came computers and bulletin boards. I could find male sex partners without going to a bathhouse. Those experiences tended to be one-on-one. At one point I got pretty involved with a man my age. It was more than just sex. I think I'm comfortable in calling it an affair. He actually wanted me to leave my wife and live with him. This caused me to do some hard thinking. I realized that I was not gay. I was not a five on the straight/gay scale. Nor was I a four or even a three. I like women!
My sex life over the last couple of years has been 90% with women. Since shortly after I met Sharon it's been exclusively with her, or in a situation where we've played together with other people. Some of those other people have been bi men. Some have not. Some have been women. I have enjoyed all the various scenarios.
When you, Sharon and I played last Monday night I was very comfortable with the way things worked out. It was very sensual. Very erotic. Very exciting. It would have felt very natural for me to reach out and stroke your hair, your arm, your back, your chest. Even suck your cock. But I was afraid that that might have been a problem for you. And maybe at this point I was right. You may not be ready for that.
You may *never* be ready for that. That's okay. I firmly believe that no one should *ever* do anything sexually that they don't want to do. And that is my only advice to you: Don't do *anything* that you don't want to do.
Remember, it's okay to have fantasies about sucking a dick, kissing a guy, getting it in the ass, and never acting on those fantasies. We all have *lots* of fantasies we never act on. Hell, I'll never fuck Nicole Kidman...doesn't stop me from fantasizing. LOL
But Mark, let me say this: If you ever *do* want to "expand your horizons" and have even just a little bit of male-to-male fun, get your butt back out here and Sharon and I will show you a real good time! LOL
This is long and rambling...I'm not sure I answered your questions...but I hope it gave you at least a little insight as to where I am.
All the best, Tom