YEAR END REFLECTIONS 1984

I take up my pen to write
of life and all I have seen
of all that has gone right
and of what might have been

This year I finally started to live
having forgotten a long lost love
keeping only the happiness she gave
and forgetting the bad with the help of a dove

I wonder long about Melody
what is she doing since I last wrote
why did I wait so long to finally see
if her life is on a happy note

Will she write back I don't know
but I did send her a card
for I loved her by the Ohio
and even in her distant yard

I have found myself it seems
growing in strength every day
for I am not living in dreams
and my doubts have gone away

Tracy is still a good friend
talking to me every once in a while
but my fantasies of her are at an end
for age is the longest mile

I wonder often of my life
of the things that may be
of who will be my wife
of the wonders I still see

I have found some new friends
Teressa, her kids, and Elvetta
who knows when it will end
but it won't be too soon

I have finally a good plan
for a training program for a job
I will succeed I know I can
for I am not a tennis lob

I have taking control of my life
and with God's help I'll make it
but I can't help wondering about a wife
if I find one I'll take it

First thing to do is find work
so I can finally move away
but I keep the thoughts under a cork
until I see that special day

Oh how I long for a wife
someone to share my life
I wonder of the day
when everything will be okay

My dreams are sometimes funny
a good base for my tales
but I sometimes wonder of the money
that I might make if my poems sold

Problems in poetry I often write
teaching myself a new art
now I see them in a new sight
and the answers are in my heart

A new year is coming soon
and I wonder at problems coming up
I doubt that they'll be bad at noon
for God is filling my cup

I see now that I have a new hope
that was missing a year ago
I know God is helping me to cope
for the bible tells me so

I wonder about how it once was
when I lost my confidence twice
a long process has begun because
I long for the things that are nice

For a wife I will often wish
I know I long for my own family
but that catch is a difficult fish
what God wishes I will soon see

Paul Vernon Deffendall
December 31, 1984

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