The Broken Bond

We're oceans apart,they say.
Perhaps too far apart
to mend the bond
between us--

but I never
listen to others.

Why should I?

I knew the risk going into this
business?. . . relationship? . . .
Pick whatever word that fits.

Friendship-- it too sports
a price, some unknown value.

What broke the bond
in the first place?

Was it my not caring to
keep in touch with
you, friend.

The years separated us
in an ocean of time.

But there must be a way
to bridge this vast gulf
that has developed.

There must be a way!

I loved you, once.

But my seeming betrayal
drove an emormous mountain
of pain between us

for I too hurt.

It's not easy
knowing I threw you away
and for what?

A broken dream,
an unfulfilled promise
of another love.

This bond between us
survived--
broken, tattered.

Not because of any
effort on my part.

No, it was you.

Your kindness reached
across the gulf
through the ages of time
calling me
somehow giving me strength
to reach out.

TO DREAM AGAIN

A pleasant dream
of you and me
together in each others' arms
not unlike
that earlier day.

TO LIVE AGAIN.

I know it won't
be like it was before--

how can it be?

Our shared memory lives
of my betrayal.

But trust, also, can be mended.

Forgive and forget. . .
simple words. . . 
impossible tasks. . .

We both live in fear,
but I won't leave you stranded--

alone, friendless--

Don't worry,
I love you too much.

So the broken bond
will be mended.

A bond renewed
of friendship.

Sometimes
I wish for more.

But I wasted that chance.

I'm back now
maybe not as
a knight in shining armor

(there's too many rusted spots
and tarnished dreams now)

but as a friend
who loves you deeply.

Don't worry.
I paid the price
of failure, of despair
knowing I treated an angel
of loving kindness
badly.

We can fix
this broken bond
between us.

Paul Vernon Deffendall
May 25, 1994

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