FINAL GIFT

Oh I love the life
I live as a fool
for my pain is masked
in the laughter of others

What right have they
to deny my depression
for out of my pain
will come the final gift

What pain am I talking about
take a look isn't it obvious
the pain of being different
of caring a little too much

So I will seek death
but never actively
for to seek quick suicide
will be giving into the pain
and that I will never do

Maybe smoking cigarettes
will get the job done
plenty of time will be left
for me to give my final gift

And after it is done
I will fade into the background
and give the final gift
of freedom to myself

Paul Vernon Deffendall
March 3, 1990

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