Our Family's Journey to China
(cont'd)
                   Advice to the Young (cont'd)

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All rituals / are instincts / never fully / trust them / study to im- / prove biology / with reason

                                                   - Miriam Waddington
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In China (cont'd
October 7: (cont'd)  The time came for Faith's foster mum to leave.  Corinne was holding Faith, who was still wailing away and struggling to get to her foster mother.  She kicked her legs back and forth in a very stiff manner.  I later figured out that the four layers of clothing she was wearing really hampered her movements.  It wasn't easy to bend her elbows or knees, so she didn't.   I took the clothes off-- clean but shabby-- as well as the shoes (worn and rather rotten:  one sole ripped away when I grasped it to pull it from her foot) and the wooly socks, which were tied up around her ankles and which had rubbed red welts on her Achilles tendons.  I put her in a diaper shirt and pink terry sleeper.  She cried for about forty-five minutes after her foster mother left and then fell into an exhausted sleep.  Before that, she had absolutely refused to drink anything.  I'd had hopes of getting her back on a bottle for the comfort factor, but I quickly realized that wasn't going to happen.  This was one stubborn little girl and there was no way a nipple of any kind was going to pass her tightly compressed lips!    We put her down on our bed and watched her-- a small human being for whom we were now totally responsible.  I was still feeling rather numb, but Corinne and Rob took everything in stride.  Corinne said to me:  "This isn't what you expected, is it?"  Well, the answer to that question was both "yes," and "no."  I had expected grieving, refusal to eat or drink, etc., but I certainly hadn't expected a ten and half month old who only drank from a spoon or cup and who had never been introduced to fruits, vegetables, or other table foods in any way.  I also decided there was no way I was getting up twice in the night to feed her.  That, as far as I was concerned, was new-born territory and I wasn't going to go there.  As it turned out, that first night, Faith was so exhausted, she slept right through until about 6:30 a.m.  I didn't get much sleep, because she wandered around the bed so much, tossing and turning. 

October 8:  Faith started crying again as soon as she opened her eyes and saw she was still with us and I  was quite concerned, because I still couldn't get her to drink anything.  Eventually, Corinne offered her a glass of water and she drank it down, gulping in desperation.  Poor wee girl!  She had almost dehydrated herself with all the tears and sweating, but I hadn't even thought about offering her water.  We bathed her in the hotel sink and again, she cried the whole time.  I got the impression she hadn't ever been naked and immersed in water.  She had probably been sponge-bathed, or something similar.  Anyway, we persevered and eventually, she was clean and sweet-smelling.  We got hasty showers and dressed ourselves while Corinne played with Faith on the bed and then we all went down for our first breakfast together.  I didn't think the breakfast buffet was as good as the one in Shanghai, but we could still get scrambled eggs and toast and congee for Faith.  Yulin came by to find out how our night had been.  I told her I was concerned about Faith being on a cup and she told me that wasn't so unusual.  Then, Yulin got Faith some steamed egg from the buffet, which she loved.  It was so good to see her eating solid food.  Between the congee, steamed egg and finger sized pieces of toast, she had quite a big breakfast.  She drank more water from a glass and Yulin told us we were to meet in the lobby at 8:00 a.m. to leave for the Jiangxi government offices, in order to pay fees and have the adoption registered and notorized.  We conferred with other parents in our group during breakfast.  Many of them had had nights similar to ours.  Only one other baby was on a cup, but she wouldn't drink anything at all-- not even water.  Her new mother was very concerned about her and I understood exactly how she felt.
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